Kyle: Oh, look. It's Buffy and all her friends.
Buffy: That's a witty.
Tor: Do you ever wonder why nobody cool wants to hang out with you?
Buffy: Just thankful.
Xander: We just saw the zebras mating! Thank you, very exciting...
Willow: It was like the Heimlich, with stripes!
Buffy: And I missed it. Yet somehow I'll find the courage to live on.
Xander: I'm feelin' that you're not in the field trip spirit here.
Buffy: Well, it would... It's nothing, I... We do the same zoo trip at my old school every year. Same old, same old.
Xander: Buffy, this isn't just about looking at a bunch of animals. This is about not being in class!
Buffy: You know, you're right! Suddenly the animals look shiny and new.
Xander: Gotta have perspective.
Buffy: I didn't notice anything. But then again I'm not as hyperaware of him as, oh, say, for example, you.
Buffy: Well, I'm not constantly monitoring his health, his moods, his blood pressure...
Willow: 130 over 80!
Buffy: You got it bad, girl!
Willow: He makes my head go tingly. You know what I mean?
Buffy: I dimly recall.
Willow: But it hasn't happened to you lately?
Buffy: Not of late.
Willow: Not even for a dangerous and mysterious older man whose leather jacket you're wearing right now?
Buffy: Goes with the shoes!
Willow: Come on, Angel pushes your buttons. You know he does.
Buffy: I suppose some girls might find him good looking... if they have eyes, alright, he's a honey, but... it's just he's never around, and when he is, all he wants to do is talk about vampires, and... I, I just can't have a relationship...
Xander: What is this crap?
Buffy: Well, it was my buttery croissant.
Xander: Man, I need some food! Birds live on this!
Buffy: Okay, now what?
Xander: You took a bath.
Buffy: Yeah, I-I often do, I'm actually known for it.
Xander: That's okay.
Buffy: And the weird behavior award goes to...
Buffy: Oh, great. It's the winged monkeys.
Giles: Right! That's enough training for one day.
Buffy: Well, that last roundhouse was kinda sloppy. Are you sure you don't wanna do it again?
Giles: No! No, no, that's fine. You just... run along to class. While I wait for the feeling to return to my arms.
Xander: I'm not getting this.
Willow: It's simple, really. See, 'The bisector of a vertex is the line that divides the angle at that vertex into two equal parts.'
Xander: It's like a big blur, all these numbers and angles.
Willow: It's the same stuff from last week. You had it down then.
Xander: Why do I need to learn this?
Willow: 'Cause otherwise you'll flunk math?
Xander: Explain the part where that's bad.
Willow: You remember, you fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, 'Hey, kids, where's the cool parties this weekend?' We've been through this.
Mr. Flutie: See, the problem is you kids today have no school spirit. Hold on, let me get his outfit off. Today it's all gangs and drugs and those movies on Showtime with the nudity. I don't have cable, I only heard. When I was your age we cared about the school's reputation and the football team's record, all that stuff! Of course, when I was your age I was surrounded by old guys telling me how much better things were when they were my age.
Coach Harrold: God, this game is brutal. I love it!
Willow: Xander... What's wrong with you?
Xander: I guess you've noticed that I've been different around you lately.
Xander: I think, um... I think it's because my feelings for you have been changing. And, well, we've been friends for such a long time that I feel like I need to tell you something. I've, um... I've decided to drop geometry. So I won't be needing your math help anymore. Which means I won't have to look at your pasty face again.
Willow: I've known him my whole life, Buffy. Well, we haven't always been close, but he's never...
Buffy: I think something's wrong with him.
Willow: Or maybe there's something wrong with me.
Buffy: What are you talking about?
Willow: C'mon. He's not picking on you. He's just sniffing you a lot. I don't know, maybe three isn't company anymore.
Buffy: You think this has something to do with me?
Willow: Of course.
Buffy: No. That still doesn't explain why he's hanging out with the dode patrol. Something's going on. Something weird.
Willow: What're you gonna do?
Buffy: Talk to the expert on weird.
Giles: Xander's taken to teasing the less fortunate?
Giles: And, there's been a noticeable change in both clothing and demeanor?
Giles: And, well, otherwise all his spare time is spent lounging about with imbeciles.
Buffy: It's bad, isn't it.
Giles: It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Course, you'll have to kill him.
Buffy: Giles, I'm serious.
Giles: So am I. Except for the part about killing him. Testosterone is a great equalizer. It turns all men into morons. He will, however, get over it.
Buffy: I cannot believe that you, of all people, are trying to Scully me. There is something supernatural at work here. Get your books! Look stuff up!
Giles: Buffy, boys can be cruel. They tease, they, they, they prey on the weak. I-i-it's natural teen behavior pattern.
Buffy: What did you just say?
Giles: Um, they tease.
Buffy: They prey on the weak. I've heard that somewhere bef... Xander has been acting totally wiggy ever since we went to the zoo. Him and Kyle and all those guys, they went into the hyena cage. Oh, God, that laugh...
Giles: You're saying that, uh, Xander's becoming a hyena.
Buffy: I don't know. Or been possessed by one? Not just Xander, all of them.
Willow: Herbert! They found him.
Buffy: The pig?
Willow: Dead. And also eaten. Principal Flutie's freaking out.
Buffy: Testosterone, huh?
Willow: What're you gonna do?
Giles: Get my books. Look stuff up.
Buffy: Wow! Apparently Noah rejected the hyenas from the Ark because he thought they were an evil impure mixture of dogs and cats.
Willow: Hyenas aren't well liked.
Buffy: They do seem to be the schmoes of the animal kingdom.
Willow: Why couldn't Xander be possessed by a puppy or, or some ducks?
Giles: Oh, I'll say it is. The Masai of the Serengeti have spoken of animal possession for, for generations. I... I should have remembered that.
Buffy: So how does it work?
Giles: Well, apparently there's a, a sect of animal worshipers known as Primals. They believe that humanity, uh, consciousness, uh, the soul, is a, is a perversion, a dilution of spirit. Uh, to them the animal state is holy. They are able, through trans-possession, to, to, um, draw the spirit of certain animals into themselves.
Buffy: And then they started acting like hyenas.
Giles: Well, only the most predatory of animals are, are of interest to the Primals, so, uh, yes, yes, that would fit, yes.
Buffy: So, what happens to the person once the spirit's in them?
Giles: If it goes unchecked...
Buffy: I gotta find Xander.
Buffy: Get off of me.
Xander: Is that what you really want? We both know what you really want. You want danger, don't cha? You like your men dangerous.
Buffy: You're in trouble, Xander. You are infected with some hyena thing, it's like a demonic possession!
Xander: Dangerous and mean, right? Like Angel. Your Mystery Guy. Well, guess who just got mean.
Xander: Do you know how long... I've waited... until you'd stop pretending that we aren't attracted... Until Willow... stops kidding herself... that I could settle with anyone but you?
Buffy: Look, Xander, I don't wanna hurt you...
Xander: Now do you wanna hurt me? Come on, Slayer. I like it when you're scared. The more I scare you, the better you smell.
Buffy: Hurry up. We gotta get him locked up somehow before he comes to.
Willow: Oh, my God, Xander! What happened?
Buffy: I hit him.
Willow: With what?
Buffy: A desk. He tried his hand at felony sexual assault.
Willow: Oh, Buffy, the hyena in him didn't...
Buffy: No. No, but it's safe to say that in his animal state his idea of wooing doesn't involve a Yanni CD and a bottle of Chianti.
Buffy: Right now I'm a little more worried about what the rest of the pack are up to.
Giles: The rest of the pack were spotted outside Herbert the mascot's cage. They were sent to the principal's office.
Willow: Good! That'll show 'em. Did it show 'em?
Buffy: They didn't hurt him, did they?
Giles: They, uh... ate him.
Buffy: They ate Principal Flutie?
Willow: Ate him up?
Giles: The, uh, official theory is that wild dogs got into his office somehow. There was no one at the scene.
Willow: But Xander didn't. He, he was with you.
Giles: Oh! Uh, well, that's a small mercy.
Buffy: Oh, wait, somebody's gotta watch Xander.
Willow: I will.
Buffy: Will, are you sure? If he wakes up...
Willow: I'll be alright. Go.
Willow: How are you feeling?
Xander: Like somebody hit me with a desk. What am I doin' here?
Willow: You're... resting?
Xander: You guys got me locked up now.
Willow: 'Cause you're sick. Buffy said...
Xander: Oh, yeah. Buffy and her all-purpose solution: punch 'em out 'n' knock 'em down. I'd love to see what she'd do to somebody who was really sick.
Willow: That's not fair. Buffy saved both of our lives.
Xander: Before she came here our lives didn't need that much saving, did they? Weren't things a lot simpler when it was just you and me?
Xander: When we were alone together... Willow, I know there's something wrong with me. I think it's gettin' worse. But I can't just stand around waitin' for Buffy to decide it's time to punch me out again. Look, I want you to help me. I want you.
Willow: I am helping you.
Xander: You're doing what you're told.
Willow: Buffy's trying to help you, too. You know that. Or Xander does.
Xander: Yeah... Buffy's so selfless. Always thinking of us. Well, if I'm so dangerous, how come she left you alone with me?
Willow: I told her to.
Willow: 'Cause I know you better than she does... and I wanted to be here to see if... you were still you.
Xander: You know I am. Look at me. Looook.
Willow: Xander... Now I know.
Giles: Oh! Oh, of course, the, uh, Masai ceremonial garb. Yes... Very good. Are you, uh, otherwise prepared for the trans-possession?
Giles: Oh, right! The, uh, sacred circle. Yes, you'd need that to, um... This would be here when... when the children first came. Why would you... How terribly frustrating for you, that a bunch of school children could accomplish what you could not.
Willow: I heard the vice-principal's taking over till they can find a replacement.
Buffy: It shouldn't be too hard to find a new principal. Unless they ask what happened to the last one.
Xander: Okay, but I had nothing to do with that, right?
Buffy: Oh, right.
Willow: You only ate the pig.
Xander: I ate a pig? Was it cooked and called bacon or... Oh, my God! I ate a pig? I mean, the whole trichinosis issue aside, yuck!
Buffy: Well, it wasn't really you.
Xander: Well, I remember I was goin' on the field trip, and then goin' down to the Hyena House, and next thing some guy's holding Willow and he's got a knife.
Willow: You saved my life.
Xander: Hey! Nobody messes with my Willow.
Buffy: This is definitely the superior Xander. Accept no substitutes.
Xander: I didn't do anything else, did I, around you guys or anything embarrassing?
Willow: Not at all.
Giles: I've been reading up on my, uh, animal possession, and I cannot find anything anywhere about memory loss afterwards.
Xander: Did you tell them that?
Giles: Your secret dies with me.
Xander: Shoot me, stuff me, mount me.