If the apocalypse comes, beep me.
■ Favorite quotes spoken by Buffy. Thanks to Susan for her help in compiling them.
"Oh, I'm not really into porn... I mean I'm just... I'm trying to cut way back."
"When you look back at this, in the three seconds it'll take you to turn to dust, I think you'll find the mistake was touching my stuff."
"Uhm, this is much better. There is no problem that can not be solved with chocolate."
"You know very well, you eat this late... You're gonna get heartburn. Get it? Heartburn? That's it? That's all I get? One lame-ass vamp with no appreciation for my painstakingly thought-out puns. I don't think the forces of darkness are even trying. I mean, you could make a little effort here, you know? Give me something to work with."
"Exactly. I'm sure Oz is flogging and punishing himself. This is sounding wrong before I even finish."
"Yeah. I ran away and went to hell and then got through it. I'm kind of hoping she doesn't use me as a model."
"I like my evil like I like my men - evil. You know, 'straight up, black hat, tied to the train tracks, soon my electro-ray will destroy metropolis' bad."
"But I can't help thinking... isn't that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it's nuts, but... part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting. I wonder where I get that from."
"Fortune favors the brave."
"I thought a professional demon chaser like yourself would have figured it out by now. - I'm the Slayer. Slay-er? - Chosen One. She who hangs out a lot in cemeteries? - You're kidding. Ask around. Look it up: Slayer comma the."
"Of course, you could smash in all my toes with a hammer and it will still be the bestest Buffy Birthday Bash in a big long while."
"Oh. You mean the cammo and stuff? I thought about it but, I mean, it's gonna look all 'Private Benjamin.' Don't worry I've patrolled in this halter many times."
"Professor Walsh. That simple little recon you sent me on... wasn't a raccoon. Turns out it was me trapped in the sewers with a faulty weapon and two of your pet demons. If you think that's enough to kill me, you really don't know what a Slayer is. Trust me when I say you're gonna find out."
"That probably would have sounded more commanding if I wasn't wearing my yummy sushi pajamas."
"Okay, you get Fang, I'll get Horny. I mean..."
"Yeah, well love isn't logical, Riley. It's not like you can be Mister Joe Sensible about it all the time. God knows I haven't been."
"No matter what, somebody's gonna get hurt. And the important thing is, you just have to be honest, or it's gonna be a lot worse."
"I walk. I talk. I shop. I sneeze. I'm gonna be a fireman when the floods roll back. There's trees in the desert since you moved out. And I don't sleep on a bed of bones. Now give me back my friends."
"Are you quite finished? It's over, okay? I'm going to ignore you, and you're going to go away. You're really gonna have to get over the whole... primal power thing. You're not the source of me. Also, in terms of hair care, you really wanna say, what kind of impression am I making in the workplace? 'Cause-"
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