If the apocalypse comes, beep me.
■ Favorite quotes spoken by Buffy. Thanks to Susan for her help in compiling them.
"Cordelia, your mouth is open and sound is coming from it. This is never good."
"Sorry, but I'm an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies."
"Love makes you do the wacky."
"Oh! I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah, blah, bity blah, I'm so stuffy, gimme a scone."
"It was terrible. I moped over you for months. Sitting in my room listening to that Divinyls song 'I Touch Myself'. Of course, I had no idea what it was about."
"He probably sat in math class thinking, 'There should be more math. This could be mathier.'"
"I'm not gonna lie to you. It was scary. I'm so used to you being a grownup, and then I find out that you're a person."
"Do the words 'sealed in fate' ring any bells for you, Will? Why go there?"
"No, Angel, it's not you. You're the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. I just get messed sometimes. I wish we could be regular kids."
"What does that mean anyway? 'Whole nine yards'? Nine yards of what? Now it's gonna bug me all day."
"Kendra, my emotions give me power. They're total assets!"
"Vampires are creeps."
"I can't do this! I can't take care of things! I killed my Giga Pet. Literally, I sat on it and it broke."
"I like seeing you. The part at the end of the night where we say good-bye... It's getting harder."
"You think he's too old 'cause he's a senior? Please. My boyfriend had a bicentennial."
"I'll just let it burn."
"Well, none of them know a thing. They all get an 'F' in Willow."
"Welcome to the mystery that is men. I think it goes something like, they grow body hair, they lose all ability to tell you what they really want."
"I seem to be having a slight case of nudity here."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't kill him for you... for her... when I had the chance. I wasn't ready. But I think I finally am. I can't hold on to the past anymore. Angel has gone. Nothing's ever gonna bring him back."
"Chocolate means nothing to me."
"Impulsive? Do you remember my ex-boyfriend, the vampire? I slept with him, he lost his soul, now my boyfriend's gone forever, and the demon that wears his face is killing my friends. The next impulsive decision I make will involve my choice of dentures."
"James destroyed the one person he loved the most in a moment of blind passion. And that's not something you forgive. No matter why he did what he did. And no matter if he knows now that it was wrong and selfish and stupid, it is just something he's gonna have to live with."
"Great. This is just what my reputation needs: that I did it with the entire swim team."
"Yay me. Well, it doesn't matter anyway. I mean, when in the real world am I ever gonna need chemistry or history or math or the English language?"
"I don't have a destiny. I'm destiny-free, really."
"The whole earth may be sucked into Hell, and you want my help 'cause your girlfriend's a big ho? Well, let me take this opportunity to not care."
"No, it doesn't stop! It never stops! Do-do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is, how dangerous? I would love to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or... God, even studying! But I have to save the world... again."
"Close your eyes."
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