Bald Thug: You know, your coat is kind of a brownish color.
Mal: It was on sale.

Mal: Well, they tell you, never hit a man with a closed fist. But it is, on occasion, hilarious.

Mal: Kaylee, what the hell's going on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?

Mal: Have you got time to do my hair?
Inara: Out.

Zoe: Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.

Mal: Hell, this job I would pull for free.
Zoe: Then can I have your share?
Mal: No.
Zoe: If you die, can I have your share?
Mal: Yes.

Simon: So... uh, what are we doing?
Kaylee: Oh, crime.

Jayne: Time for some thrilling heroics.