Young River: Our platoon, Simon. We got outflanked by the independent squad, and we're never gonna make it back to our platoon. We need to resort to cannibalism.
Young Simon: That was fast. Don't we have rations or anything?
Young River: They got lost. We're gonna have to eat the men.
Mal: So, she's added cussing and hurling about of things to her repertoire. She really is a prodigy.
Simon: It's just a bad day.
Mal: No, a bad day is when someone's yellin' spooks the cattle. Understand? You ever see cattle stampede when they got no place to run? It's kind of like a... a meat grinder. And it'll lose us half the herd.
Simon: She hasn't gone anywhere near the cattle.
Mal: No, but in case you hadn't noticed, her voice kinda carries. We're two miles above ground and they can probably hear her down there. Soon as we unload, she can holler until our ears bleed. Although I would take it as a kindness if she didn't.
River: The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.
Mal: See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like.
Jayne: Yah! Get along!
Mal: You know, they walk just as easy if you lead 'em.
Jayne: I like smackin' 'em.
Zoe: Next time we smuggle stock, let's make it something smaller.
Wash: Yeah, we should start dealing in those black-market beagles.
River: Little soul, big world. Eat, sleep, and eat... Many souls.
Mal: Cattle on the ship three weeks, she don't go near 'em. Suddenly we're on Jiangyin and she's got a driving need to commune with the beast?
River: They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see the sky and they remember what they are.
Mal: Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?
Mal: I'm fixing to do some business. Can't be herding these steers and your sister, too.
Simon: She didn't mean any harm.
Mal: I never figured she did. But when a man engages in clandestine dealings, he has his preference for things being smooth. She makes things not be smooth.
Simon: Right. I'm very sorry if she tipped off anyone about your cunningly concealed herd of cows.
Kaylee: Give you a chance to have a little fun.
Simon: Fun. Right, yeah. I, uh, I consider this fun. It's fun, being forced to the ass-end of the galaxy. To get to live on a piece of luh-suh wreck. And to eat molded protein. And to be bullied around by our boo-tai jung tzhang duh of a captain. It's fun.
Kaylee: Serenity ain't luh-suh.
Simon: No, I... I didn't mean --
Kaylee: Yeah you did. You meant everything you just said.
Simon: Well, no. Uh, actually I was being ironic, so in-in-in the strictest sense --
Kaylee: You were being mean, is what. And if that's what you think of this life, then you can't think much of them that choose it, can you.
Mal: This is the last time. Last time with cows. Hear there was an idea regarding beagles? They have smallish droppings?
Zoe: I believe so, sir. Also, your disreputable men are here.
Mal: Better go take their money.
Mal: Hey. Stay with me, Shepherd.
Book: That's... that's quite a lot of blood, isn't it?
Mal: Just means you ain't dead.
Book: Afraid I might be needing a preacher.
Mal: That's good. You lie there and be ironical.
Regan: Your sister is fine, Simon.
Simon: She's not fine. Didn't you look at the letters? Look at the letters.
Gabriel: Uh, I'm looking at letters.
Simon: These phrases -- they don't sound anything like her. Some of these words -- they're misspelled. She started correcting my spelling when she was three. She's trying to tell us something. I think there's a code.
Kaylee: Where's the doctor? Why isn't he with you?
Wash: He wasn't in town. Wasn't anywhere.
Kaylee: He was in town. We saw him there. Him and River. I can show you --
Wash: Town's not that big, Kaylee. Believe me when I say he wasn't there.
Jayne: Knew it. Probably saw them cops, turned tail.
Mal: Doctor could be called a lot of things. Coward wouldn't be one of 'em, though.
River: We're lost... lost in the woods.
Simon: It's going to be okay. They'll find us. Once the Captain realizes what happened, they'll come.
Book: That bad?
Zoe: Battle wounds are nothing new to me, preacher. I've seen men live with a dozen holes in 'em this size.
Book: That right?
Zoe: Surely is. Knew a man whole had a hole clean through his whole shoulder, once. Used to keep a spare hankie in there.
Jayne: "Dear Diary, Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today, we were kidnapped by hill folk never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."
Kaylee: Well, we're headed for help... right?
Zoe: Captain will come up with a plan.
Kaylee: That's good. Right?
Zoe: Possibly you're not recalling some of his previous plans.
Wash: You sure this is where we wanna be?
Mal: Oh, I'm fairly certain it ain't.
Zoe: You sanguine about the kind of reception we're up to receive on an Alliance ship, Cap?
Mal: Absolutely. What's "sanguine" mean?
Zoe: "Sanguine." Hopeful. Plus, point of interest, it also means "bloody."
Mal: Well, that pretty much covers all the options, don't it?
Zoe: So, what do you figure? Shepherd's got some kind of connection with the Alliance?
Mal: I know what it looks like. Still, it would surprise me if he did.
Jayne: See, it's my whole problem with pickin' up tourists. Ain't never what they claim to be.
Mal: Seems like everyone's got a tale to tell.
Simon: Hodgeberries. Do you remember when we found those giant hodgeberry bushes on the Cambersons' estate? And we thought they'd grown wild, but... Long while ago.
River: I took you away from there.
River: I know I did. You don't think I do, but... I get confused. I remember everything. I remember too much, and... some of it's made up, and... some of it can't be quantified, and... there's secrets.
Simon: It's okay.
River: But I understand. You gave up everything you had to find me. And you found me broken. It's hard for you. You gave up everything you had.
Simon: Mei mei... Everything I have is right here.
Simon: These are better than the Cambersons' berries.
River: They are. Except they're poison. He believed her. Made a face.
Simon: You are such a brat!
Gabriel: Have you completely lost your mind?
Simon: Pretty nearly.
Gabriel: We got the wave at the Friedlich's. I had to leave your mother at the dinner table.
Simon: I'm sorry, dad. You know I would never have tried to save River's life if I had known there was a dinner party at risk.
Gabriel: You were in a blackout zone!
Simon: Talking! To someone who might be able to help River. And I'm going right back there.
Gabriel: This is a slippery slope, young man. You have no idea how far down you can go, and you're not taking us with you.
Simon: Meaning what?
Gabriel: I won't come for you again. You end up here, or get mixed-up in something worse, you're on your own. I will not come for you.
Simon: This is lunacy. You're supposed to be the teacher here. What exactly is it that you teach?
Patron: What's going on, woman? Why are you knocking us from our beds at this hour?
Doralee: The new doctor's sister's a witch. She read Ruby's mind. Saw things she couldn't --
Simon: No, River is not a witch! She's just a troubled girl.
Mal: You're gonna be fine, Shepherd. Alliance patched you up.
Mal: Yeah. They let us come, and they let us go. What kind of ident card gets us that kind of reception and send off?
Book: I am a Shepherd. Folks like a man of God.
Mal: No, they don't. Men of God make everyone feel guilty and judged. That's not what I saw. You like to tell me what really happened?
Book: I surely would. And maybe someday I will. It's good to be home.
Mal: Well, look at this! Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoe: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.
Mal: Y'all see the man hanging out of the spaceship with the really big gun? Now I'm not saying you weren't easy to find. It was kinda out of our way, and he didn't want to come in the first place. Man's lookin' to kill some folk. So really it's his will y'all should worry about thwarting. Gotta say, doctor, your talent for alienatin' folk is near miraculous.
Simon: Yes, I'm very proud.
Mal: Cut her down.
Patron: That girl is a witch.
Mal: Yeah, but she's our witch. So cut her the hell down.
Simon: So finally a decent wound on this ship, and I miss out. I'm sorry.
Mal: Well, you were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. It happens.
Simon: Captain... why did you come back for us?
Mal: You're on my crew.
Simon: Yeah, but you don't even like me. Why'd you come back?
Mal: You're on my crew. Why we still talking about this? Chow's in ten. No need to dress.