Well, I guess that qualifies as "happy to see me."
Buffy: OK, I'm basked. What are you doing here?
Angel: Not saving the damsel in distress, that's for sure.
Buffy: Oh, you know me. Not much with the damseling.
Angel: I got coverage on the whole thing. It's very gripping. It needs a third act.
Buffy: You have to leave L.A.
Caleb: Stupid girl. You'll never stop me. You don't have the ba—
Buffy: Who does nowadays?
Buffy: I can already tell you, I have nothing that goes with that.
Angel: It's not for you.
Angel: I don't know everything. It's very powerful and probably very dangerous. It has a purifying power, a cleansing power, possibly scrubbing bubbles. The translation is, uh—anyway, it bestows strength to the right person who wears it.
Buffy: And the right person is?
Angel: Someone ensouled, but stronger than human. A champion. As in me.
Buffy: Or me.
Angel: No. I don't know nearly enough about this to risk you wearing it. Besides, you got that real cool axe-thing going for you.
Angel: Is it Spike? You're not telling me something. And his scent, I remember it pretty well.
Buffy: You vampires. Did anybody ever tell you the whole smelling people thing's a little gross?
Angel: Is he your boyfriend?
Buffy: Is that your business?
Angel: You in love with him? OK, maybe I'm outta line, but this is kind of a curve ball for me. I mean, we are talking about Spike here.
Buffy: It's different. He's different. He has a soul now.
Angel: Oh. Well.
Angel: That's great. Everyone's got a soul now.
Buffy: He'll make a difference.
Angel: You know, I started it. The whole having a soul. Before it was all the cool new thing.
Buffy: Oh, my God. Are you 12?
Angel: I'm getting the brush off for Captain Peroxide. It doesn't necessarily bring out the champion in me.
Buffy: You're not getting the brush off. Are you just gonna come here and go all Dawson on me every time I have a boyfriend?
Angel: Aha! Boyfriend!
Buffy: He's not. But... he is in my heart.
Buffy: What was the highlight of our relationship? When you broke up with me or when I killed you? I'm well aware of my stellar history with guys... And, no, I don't see fat grandchildren in the offing with Spike, but I don't think that really matters right now. You know, in the midst of all this insanity, a couple things are actually starting to make sense. And the guy thing— I always feared there was something wrong with me, you know, because I couldn't make it work. But maybe I'm not supposed to.
Angel: Because you're the slayer?
Buffy: Because—OK, I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat— or enjoy warm, delicious cookie me, then... that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done.
Angel: Any thoughts on who might enjoy— Do I have to go with the cookie analogy?
Buffy: I'm not really thinking that far ahead. That's kind of the point.
Buffy: Angel. I do... sometimes think that far ahead.
Angel: Sometimes is something.
Buffy: Be a long time coming. Years, if ever.
Angel: I ain't getting any older.
Xander: Don't look at me. This is a Summers' thing. It's all very violent.
Buffy: If you get killed, I'm telling.
Willow: Did you find out anything about the scythe?
Buffy: It slices, dices, and makes julienne preacher.
Buffy: I cut him in half.
Willow: All right!
Anya: He had that coming.
Xander: Hey, party in my eye socket and everyone's invited. Sometimes I shouldn't say words.
Spike: So... where's tall, dark and forehead?
Buffy: Let me guess. You can smell him.
Spike: Yeah, that and I also used my enhanced vampire eyeballs to watch you kissing him.
Buffy: It was... a hello.
Spike: Most people don't use their tongues to say hello. Or I guess they do, but—
Buffy: There were no tongues. Besides, he's gone.
Spike: Oh, just popped by for a quickie, then?
Buffy: Good, good. I haven't had quite enough jealous vampire crap for one night.
Spike: He wears lifts, you know.
Buffy: You know, one of these days I'm just gonna put you 2 in a room and let you wrestle it out.
Spike: No problem at this end.
Buffy: There could be oil of some kind involved.
Spike: Where's the trinket?
Buffy: The who-ket?
Spike: The pretty necklace your sweetie-bear gave you. The one with all the power. I believe it's mine now.
Buffy: How do you figure?
Spike: Someone with a soul, but more than human? Angel meant to wear it, that means I'm the qualified party.
Buffy: It's volatile. We don't know—
Spike: You'll be needing someone strong to bear it, then. You planning on giving it to Andrew?
Buffy: Angel said the amulet was meant to be worn by a champion.
Spike: Well, you're not staying here. You can't buy me off with shiny beads and sweet talk. You got Angel breath. I'm not gonna just let you whack me back and forth like a rubber ball. I've got my pride, you know.
Buffy: I understand.
Spike: Clearly you don't, 'cause the whole "having my pride" thing was just a smokescreen.
Caleb/First: Pretty, ain't it?
Buffy: You're not him.
Caleb/First: No, you killed him right and proper. Terrible loss. This man was my good right arm. 'Course, it don't pain me too much. Don't need an arm. Got an army.
Buffy: An army of vampires. However will I fight—
Caleb/First: Every day our numbers swell. But then you do have an army of your own. Some thirty-odd pimply-faced girls, don't know the pointy end of a stake. Maybe I should call this off.
Buffy: Have you ever considered a cool name? I mean, since you're incorporeal and basically powerless. How about "The Taunter?" Strikes fear in the heart—
Caleb/First: I will overrun this Earth. And when my army outnumbers the humans on this Earth, the scales will tip and I will be made flesh.
Buffy: Talk on. I'm not afraid of you.
Caleb/First: Then why aren't you asleep in your dead lover's arms? 'Cause he can't help you. Nor Faith, nor your friends, certainly not your wanna-slay brigade. None of those girlies will ever know real power unless you're dead. You know the drill:
Buffy/First: Into every generation, a slayer is born. One girl in all the world. She alone will have the strength and skill to— There's that word again. What you are. How you'll die. Alone. Where's your snappy comeback?
Buffy: You're right.
Buffy/First: Hmm. Not your best.
Spike: I'm drowning in footwear! Weird dream. Buffy? Is something wrong?
Buffy: No. Yeah. I just realized something. Something that really never occurred to me before. We're gonna win.
Buffy: What do you think?
Xander: That depends. Are you in any way...kidding?
Buffy: You don't think it's a good idea?
Faith: It's pretty radical, B.
Giles: It's a lot more than that. Buffy, what you said, it—it flies in the face of everything we've ever—every generation has ever done in the fight against evil. I think it's bloody brilliant.
Buffy: You mean that?
Giles: If you want my opinion.
Buffy: I really do.
Willow: Whoa, hey. Not to poop on the party here, but I'm the guy that's gonna have to pull this thing off.
Faith: It is beaucoup d'mojo.
Willow: This goes beyond anything I've ever done. It's a total loss of control, and not in a nice, wholesome, my girlfriend has a pierced tongue kind of way.
Giles: You can do this, Willow. We'll get the coven on the line, and we'll find out how they can help.
Dawn: Oh! "Pierced tongue."
Buffy: Dawn needs to do a research thing.
Giles: Yes, you do.
Dawn: It's cool. Watcher junior to the library.
Giles: I'll go dig up my sources. Quite literally, actually.
Anya: Come on, let's go assemble the cannon fodder.
Xander: That's not what we're calling them, sweetie.
Anya: Not to their faces. What, am I insensitive?
Buffy: I hate this. I hate being here. I hate that you have to be here. I hate that there's evil, and that I was chosen to fight it. I wish, a whole lot of the time, that I hadn't been. I know a lot of you wish I hadn't been either. But this isn't about wishes. This is about choices. I believe we can beat this evil. Not when it comes, not when its army is ready, now. Tomorrow morning I'm opening the seal. I'm going down into the hellmouth, and I'm finishing this once and for all. Right now you're asking yourself, "what makes this different? What makes us anything more than a bunch of girls being picked off one by one?" It's true none of you have the power that Faith and I do. So here's the part where you make a choice.
Faith: Come on, you gotta have a little Faith.
Robin: I think I've had my share, thanks.
Faith: Well, I trundled right into that one, didn't I? Look, I'm sorry if it seemed like I was blowing you off the other day. I was just trying to, you know, blow you off.
Robin: Yeah, you know what, I figured that one out all by myself.
Faith: It's nothing personal. It's just after I get bouncy with a guy, there's not that much more I need to know about him.
Robin: That's bleak.
Faith: Way of the world.
Robin: That's good to know 'cause for a second there I thought it was more defensive, isolationist slayer crap.
Robin: Faith, there's a whole world out there that you don't even know about, and a lot of the men in it are pretty decent guys. They'd surprise you.
Faith: Guy looks at me, let's just say his priorities shift.
Robin: Why, because you're so hot?
Faith: It's what it is, yo.
Robin: Oh, please. I am so much prettier than you are. Oh, and, uh, for the record, our little encounter didn't exactly change my world.
Faith: You're tripping! That was rock 'em, sock 'em!
Robin: No, no, no, no. It was—it was—it was nice enough, you know, and you're—you're very, um... mm, enthused, and I think with a little more experience—
Faith: Dude, I got mad skills.
Robin: Yeah, of course. Let's finish up.
Faith: No, hell with that. We're going again, baby. You're gonna learn a little respect here, pal.
Robin: Faith— Make me a deal, all right? We live through this, you give me the chance to surprise you.
Faith: What would be the surprise?
Robin: You do know the meaning of the word, right?
Faith: Fine. Deal.
Robin: Good enough.
Faith: No way you're prettier than me.
Robin: A little bit, yeah.
Willow: I really wish she hadn't said that about me.
Kennedy: What, the thing Buffy said? I think it's true. I'll be with you. To keep you grounded.
Willow: Yeah, well, you might have to keep me stab-ded, if I go to the bad place.
Kennedy: You're saying I might have to kill you.
Willow: I am.
Kennedy: Bite me.
Willow: I will. I mean, I do... mean it. The darkest place I've ever been, this is what lies beyond that. This is too important for me to—
Kennedy: Buffy believes in you.
Willow: You know, Buffy: sweet girl, not that bright.
Kennedy: Hey, I'm the first one to call her out when she's not making sense. In fact, this may have escaped your keen notice, but I'm kind of a brat. I've always sort of gotten my way. So you're gonna make it through this, no matter how dark it gets. Because now... you're my way.
Giles: I'm—I'm—I'm all turned around. You're here?
Xander: By the pillar, yeah. I'm protecting this area.
Giles: That puts me over by the door. Demons around the perimeter— Right! I open the door.
Andrew: You go through the door and are confronted by Trogdor the Burninator.
Giles: Oh, bugger it. Fight.
Andrew: Adios to 5 hit points. Trogdor has badly wounded you.
Giles: Well, wait a minute. What about my... bag of illusions?
Andrew: Illusions against a Burninator? Silly, silly british man.
Amanda: I invoke a time flux on Trogdor.
Andrew: Step down, girlfriend, you can't just—
Amanda: Ninth level sorcerer, and I carry the emerald chalice. Trogdor is frozen in time. Deal with it.
Xander: Smackdown on Red Riding Hood. This could get ugly.
Giles: Could it possibly get uglier? I used to be a highly respected watcher, and now I'm a wounded dwarf with the mystical strength of a doily. I just wish I could sleep.
Amanda: What kind of person could sleep on a night like this?
Xander: Only the crazy ones.
Robin: Welcome to Sunnydale High. There's no running in the halls, no yelling, no gum chewing. Apart from that, there's only one rule. If they move, kill them.
Xander: If you have to go to the bathroom, it's to your left. If you don't have to go to the bathroom, picture what you're about to face. Better to go now.
Anya: So that leaves me and the dungeon master in the north hall?
Andrew: We will defend it with our very lives.
Anya: Yes, we will defend it with his very life.
Xander: And don't be afraid to use him as a human shield.
Anya: Good, yes, thanks.
Andrew: I just want to say how proud I am to die for this very special cause with you guys. There's some, um—there's people I'd like to thank, both good and evil. Um, a shout out to my brother Tucker, who gave me the inspiration to summon demons and also—
Anya: Nobody cares, you little monkey.
Buffy: So, what do you guys want to do tomorrow?
Willow: Nothing strenuous.
Xander: Well, mini-golf is always the first thing that comes to mind.
Giles: I think we can do better than that.
Buffy: I was thinking about shopping. As per usual.
Willow: Oh! There's an Arden B. in the new mall!
Xander: I could use a few items.
Giles: Well, now aren't we gonna discuss this? Save the world to go to the mall?
Buffy: I'm having a wicked shoe craving.
Xander: Aren't you on the patch?
Willow: Those never work.
Giles: Here I am, invisible to the eye...
Xander: See, I need a new look. It's this whole eye patch thing.
Buffy: Oh, you could go with full black secret agent look.
Willow: Or the puffy shirt, pirate slash—
Giles: The earth is definitely doomed.
Spike: Not to be a buzzkill, love, but my fabulous accessory isn't exactly tingling with power.
Buffy: I'm not worried.
Spike: I'm getting zero juice here, and I look like Elizabeth Taylor.
Faith: Cheer up, Liz. Willow's big spell doesn't work, it won't matter what you wear.
Buffy: So here's the part where you make a choice: What if you could have that power... now? In every generation, one slayer is born... because a bunch of men who died thousands of years ago made up that rule. They were powerful men. This woman is more powerful than all of them combined. So I say we change the rule. I say my power... should be our power. Tomorrow, Willow will use the essence of the scythe to change our destiny. From now on, every girl in the world who might be a slayer... will be a slayer. Every girl who could have the power... will have the power... can stand up, will stand up. Slayers... every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?
Vi: These guys are dust.
Kennedy: You... are a goddess.
Willow: And you're a slayer. Get this to Buffy. Ha! That was nifty.
Andrew: I think they're coming.
Anya: Oh, God. I'm terrified. I didn't think. I mean, I— I just figured you'd be terrified, and I would be sarcastic about it.
Andrew: Picture happy things... a lake, candy canes, bunnies.
Anya: Bunnies! Floppy, hoppy... bunnies.
Buffy/First: Oh no... ow! Mommy, this mortal wound is all... itchy. You pulled a nice trick. You came pretty close to smacking me down. What more do you want?
Buffy: I want you... to get out of my face.
Spike: I can feel it, Buffy.
Spike: My soul. It's really there. Kind of stings.
Spike: Gotta move, lamb. I think it's fair to say school's out for bloody summer.
Spike: I mean it! I gotta do this.
Buffy: I love you.
Spike: No, you don't. But thanks for saying it. Now go! I wanna see how it ends.
Vi: Look at me! This is nothing! Stay awake! This is nothing!
Andrew: Why didn't I die?
Xander: So, did you see?
Andrew: I—I was scared. I'm sorry.
Xander: Did you see what happened? I mean, was she...
Andrew: She was incredible. She died saving my life.
Xander: That's my girl. Always doing the stupid thing.
Faith: Looks like the hellmouth is officially closed for business.
Giles: There is another one in Cleveland. Not to spoil the moment.
Xander: We saved the world.
Willow: We changed the world. I can feel them, Buffy. All over. Slayers are awakening everywhere.
Dawn: We'll have to find them.
Willow: We will.
Giles: Yes, because the mall was actually in Sunnydale, so there's no hope of going there tomorrow.
Dawn: We destroyed the mall? I fought on the wrong side.
Xander: All those shops gone. The Gap, Starbucks, Toys "R" Us. Who will remember all those landmarks unless we tell the world about them?
Giles: We have a lot of work ahead of us.
Faith: Can I push him in?
Willow: You've got my vote.
Faith: I just want to sleep, yo, for like a week.
Dawn: I guess we all could, if we wanted to.
Willow: Yeah. The First is scrunched, so... what do you think we should do, Buffy?
Faith: Yeah, you're not the one and only chosen anymore. Just gotta live like a person. How's that feel?
Dawn: Yeah, Buffy. What are we gonna do now?