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When She Was Bad Quotes
When She Was Bad Quotes

Xander: It's your turn.
Willow: I, alright, okay, uh... 'In the few hours that we had together, we loved a lifetime's worth.'
Xander: Terminator.
Willow: Good! Great.
Xander: Um, oh, okay, I got one. 'It's a madhouse! A mad...'
Willow: Planet of the Apes.
Xander: Can I finish, please?
Willow: Oh! Sorry, go ahead.
Xander: '...house!'
Willow: Planet of the Apes. Okay, good. Me. Uh...
Xander: Well?
Willow: I'm thinking. 'Use the Force, Luke.'
Xander: Do I even have to dignify that with a guess?

Xander: Well, what else do you wanna do? We already played rock, paper, scissors. My hands cramped up.
Willow: Well, yes, if you're always scissors of course your tendons are gonna strain...

Xander: I got a movie for ya!
Willow: Xander!
Xander: You're Amish! You can't fight back... 'cause you're Amish! I mock you with my ice cream cone, Amish guy!
Willow: Witness. My nose is cold.
Xander: Let me get that for ya.
Willow: Xander!
Xander: I'm sorry, I can't help myself. Your nose looks so tasty.

Cordelia: It was a nightmare, a total nightmare. I mean, they promised me they'd take me to St. Croix, and then they just decide to go to Tuscany. Art and buildings? I was totally beachless for a month and a half. No one has suffered like I have. Of course I think that that kind of adversity builds character. Well, then I thought, I already have a lot of character. Is it possible to have too much character?

Snyder: I mean, it's incredible. One day the campus is completely bare. Empty. The next, there are children everywhere. Like locusts. Crawling around, mindlessly bent on feeding and mating. Destroying everything in sight in their relentless, pointless desire to exist.
Giles: I do enjoy these pep talks. Have you ever considered, given your abhorrence of children, school's principal was not, perhaps, your true vocation?
Snyder: Somebody's got to keep an eye on them. They're just a bunch of hormonal time bombs.

Giles: How was your summer?

Jenny: Extreme. I did Burning Man in Black Rock, ohhh, such a great festival, you should've been there. They had drum rituals, mobile sculptures, raves, naked mud dances, you would've just... hated it with a fiery passion!
Giles: I can't imagine finding any redeeming, uh... Naked?
Jenny: Hmm. And you probably spent all summer with your nose in a book.
Giles: Yes. I suppose you'd consider that frightfully dull.
Jenny: Depends on the book.

Xander: Yo! G-man! What's up?
Giles: Nice to see you. And don't ever call me that.

Jenny: We've got vampires? I thought the Hellmouth was closed.
Giles: Well, it's, it's closed, but not gone. The mystical energy that emanates from it is still concentrated in this area.
Xander: Which means we're still the undead's favorite party town.
Giles: I wonder if they're here for any purpose, particularly.
Buffy: You're the Watcher. I just work here.
Giles: Yes, I-I must consult my books.
Xander: Oh, eight minutes and thirty-three seconds, pay up. I called ten minutes before you'd consult your books about something. Thanks.

Willow: What were you thinking about?
Buffy: Nothing.
Xander: Oh, c'mon, you can tell us. We're your bosom friends! The friends of your bosom!

Willow: What'd you do last night?
Buffy: Mm. Slept. I had weird dreams.
Xander: Dreams are meaningful.
Willow: Tsh! Tell me about it. The other night I dreamt that Xander... Uh, I-it wasn't Xander. I-in fact it wasn't me. It was a friend's dream, and she doesn't remember it.
Buffy: I bet she doesn't.

Angel: How are you?
Buffy: Peachy. So, is this a social call? It is kinda late. Or, well, it is for me, anyway. What is it for you, lunch hour?
Angel: It's not a social call.
Buffy: Ah. So, lemme guess. That means grave danger. Gosh, it's good to be home.

Buffy: So, some of your cousins are in town for a family barbecue, and we're all on the menu!
Angel: The Anointed One. He's been gathering forces somewhere in town. I'm not sure why.
Buffy: Guess I'll find out soon enough, huh?
Angel: You don't sound too concerned.
Buffy: I can handle myself. Besides, I could use a little action anyway.
Angel: Don't underestimate the Anointed One just because he looks like a child. He has power over the rest of them. They'll do anything for him.
Buffy: Is that it? Is that everything? Y'know, 'cause you woke me up from a really good dream.
Angel: Sorry. I'll go. I missed you.

Willow: Angel stopped by? Wow. Was there... Well, I mean, was it having to do with kissing?
Buffy: Willow, grow up. Not everything is about kissing.
Xander: Yeah. Some stuff's about groping. It wasn't about groping?
Buffy: Okay, hormones on parade here? It was pure shoptalk. Remember vampires, pointy teeth, they walk by night, am I ringing a bell?
Willow: What did he say?
Buffy: Oh, something's up. Nothing I can't handle.

Xander: Oh, hey, did you guys hear that Cibo Matto's gonna be at the Bronze tonight?
Willow: Cibo Matto? They're playing?
Xander: No, Willow, they're gonna be clog dancing.
Willow: Cibo Matto can clog dance? Oh, sarcasm, right.

Cordelia: Oh, look, it's the Three Musketeers.
Buffy: Was that an insult?
Xander: Kinda lacked punch.
Willow: The Three Musketeers were cool.
Cordelia: I see your point.
Xander: I woulda gone with Stooges.

Cordelia: Well, I just meant that you guys always hang out together. So, did you guys fight any demons this summer?
Willow: Uh, yes! Our own personal demons.
Xander: Uh, such as, as, as lust and, uh, thrift!
Buffy: I would have to go with Stooges also.
Cordelia: What are you guys talking about? I'm talking about big squiggly demons that came from the ground? Remember? Prom night? With all the vampires.
Buffy: Cordelia, your mouth is open and sound is coming from it. This is never good.
Xander: No. It's, see, we can't mention that stuff in front of other people, Buffy being the Slayer and all.

Willow: You haven't been talking about our little adventure all summer, have you?
Cordelia: Are you nuts? Do you think I would tell people that I spent the whole evening with you? Besides, it was all so creepy. That Master guy? And all the screaming? I don't even like to think about it. So your secret's safe with me.
Buffy: Well, that works out great. You won't tell anyone that I'm the Slayer, and I won't tell anyone you're a moron.
Xander: Now, that was a good insult.
Willow: A little too good.
Cordelia: What's up with her?

Willow: Buffy's never acted like this before. Ever since she got back she's... different.
Xander: Buffy's always been different.
Willow: She's never been mean.

Buffy: So, is there danger at the Bronze? Should I beware?
Angel: I can't help thinking I've done something to make you angry. And that bothers me more than I'd like.
Buffy: I'm not angry. I don't know where that comes from.
Angel: What are you afraid of? Me? Us?
Buffy: Could you contemplate getting over yourself for a second? There's no 'us'. Look, Angel, I'm sorry if I was supposed to spend the summer mooning over you, but I didn't. I moved on. To the living.

Cordelia: Buffy. You're really campaigning for bitch-of-the-year, aren't you?
Buffy: As defending champion, you nervous?
Cordelia: I can hold my own. You know, we've never really been close, which is nice, 'cause I don't really like you that much, but... you have on occasion saved the world and stuff, so I'm gonna... do you a favor.
Buffy: And this great favor is...
Cordelia: I'm gonna give you some advice. Get over it.
Buffy: Excuse me?
Cordelia: Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever, but get over it. 'Cause pretty soon you're not even gonna have the loser friends you've got now.
Buffy: I think it's about time you start minding your own business.
Cordelia: It's long past.

Xander: Well, you're the expert. Hey, maybe when the Master killed her some... mystical bad guy transference thing happened.
Willow: That's what it was! I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
Giles: Willow, I think we're all a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander: A bitca?
Giles: Yes. I suggest that, uh, the explanation for her behavior may be something more, more mundane. She may simply have what you Americans refer to as issues. Uh, her experience with the Master must have been extremely traumatic. Well, she was, for at least a few minutes, technically dead. I-I don't think she's dealt with that on a conscious level. She's convinced herself that she's invulnerable... for the very reason that she feels...

Willow: What would somebody want with Master bones?
Xander: A trophy, a horrible conversation piece?
Buffy: They're gonna bring him back. They're gonna bring the Master back to life, and I seem to recall you telling me he was history.
Giles: Buffy, I-I-I've never heard of a-a revivification ritual being successful.
Buffy: But you've heard of them? Thanks for the warning.
Willow: Well, Buffy, Giles did bury him and...
Buffy: Look, this is Slayer stuff, okay? Could we have just a little less from the civilians, please?
Xander: Okay, that's just about enough!

Snyder: There're some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense.
Giles: No, actually that would be one of the five.
Snyder: That Summers girl. I smell trouble. I smell expulsion, and just the faintest aroma of jail.
Giles: Well, before you throw away the key, you might consider giving her the benefit of the doubt. She may surprise you.
Snyder: You really have faith in those kids, don't you?
Giles: Yes, I do.
Snyder: Weird.

Giles: Alright, alright, I-I-I've got something. It's Latin, so bear with me. Uh, to revive the vampire they need his bones, uh... w-which they have, and, um, the blood... this is very unclear, of the closest person... uh, someone connected to the vampire.
Buffy: That'd be me.
Giles: Perhaps.
Buffy: We were close. We killed each other. It really promotes togetherness.

Buffy: This is Cordelia's. 'Come to the Bronze before it opens, or we make her a meal.'
Xander: They're gonna cook her dinner? I'll pretend I didn't say that.

Xander: I don't like this.
Giles: Nor I!
Buffy: Yeah? Well, you guys aren't going.
Willow: What do you mean?
Buffy: I can't do it anymore. I can't look after the three of you guys while I'm fighting.
Willow: Well, what about the rest of the note?
Buffy: What rest of the note?
Willow: The part that says, 'P.S. This is a trap'?
Giles: You'll be playing straight into their hands.
Buffy: I can handle this.
Willow: Stop saying that! God, what's wrong with you?
Xander: Cordelia may be dead.
Buffy: This is my fight.

Buffy: Y'know, being stalked isn't really a big turn-on for girls.
Angel: You need help. Someone to watch your back.
Buffy: Sure you don't mean my neck?
Angel: Why are you ridin' me?
Buffy: Because I don't trust you. You're a vampire. Oh, I'm sorry, was that an offensive term? Should I say 'undead American'?
Angel: You have to trust someone. You can't do this alone.
Buffy: I trust me.
Angel: You're not as strong as you think.
Buffy: You think you can take me?
Angel: What?
Buffy: Oh, c'mon! I mean, you must've thought about it. What would happen if it ever came down to a fight, you vampire, me the Slayer, I mean, you must've wondered! Well, why don't we find out?
Angel: I'm not gonna fight you.
Buffy: Come on! Kick my ass!
Angel: Don't you have somewhere to be?
Buffy: I do.
Angel: Well, you're wasting time.
Buffy: Just stay out of my way.
Angel: Happy to oblige.

Willow: I still think we should've gone with her.
Xander: Buffy's about to lose it. I think we should be trying to reach minimum safe distance.
Willow: Xander, you know it's a trap!
Giles: Ah! Ah, ah, ah! Uh, uh, the Latin is, is translated from the Sumerian, a-a-and rather badly. Closest to the Master actually translates as 'nearest'. Physically. The, the, the person or persons who were with him... when he... It is a trap. It just isn't for her.

Buffy: Xander! What happened?
Xander: Vampires. The ones you could handle yourself.
Buffy: Where are the others?
Xander: I don't know. I don't know what your problem is, what your issues are. But as of now, I officially don't care. If you'd worked with us for five seconds, you coulda stopped this.
Buffy: We, we just have to think. Where would they have taken them?
Xander: If they hurt Willow, I'll kill you.
Buffy: Why did they take them and not you?
Xander: Giles said the ritual was, um... They needed people who were close to the Master. Physically close. When he, uh...
Buffy: The ones who were with the Master when he died.
Xander: Giles, Willow, Cordelia...
Buffy: Ms. Calendar.
Xander: Odds are they've got a complete set by now.
Buffy: We need to find out where.

Giles: Are you alright?
Jenny: Yeah, I'm okay.
Giles: Where's Buffy?
Xander: Uh, she's working out her issues.

Cordelia: What an ordeal. And you know what the worst part is?
Jenny: What?
Cordelia: It stays with you forever. No matter what they tell you, none of that rust and blood and grime comes out. I mean, you can dry clean till judgment day, you are living with those stains.
Jenny: Yeah that's the worst part of being hung upside down by a vampire who wants to slit your throat: the stains.
Cordelia: I hear ya!

Buffy: I don't think I can face them.
Giles: Hmm? Of course, you can.
Buffy: I can't! What am I supposed say? 'Sorry I almost got your throat slit. What's the homework?'
Giles: Punishing yourself like this is pointless.
Buffy: It's entirely pointy. I was a moron. I put my best friends in mortal danger on the second day of school.
Giles: What are you gonna do? Crawl inside a cave for the rest of your life?
Buffy: Would it have cable?
Giles: Buffy, you acted wrongly, I admit that. But believe me, that was hardly the, the worst mistake you'll ever make. Uh, that wasn't quite as comforting as it was meant to be.
Buffy: Well, points for effort. See ya.

Willow: Hey, Buffy.
Buffy: Hey.
Willow: We saved you a seat.
Xander: There's a rumor going around that, uh, Mr. Cox is the most boring teacher in the entire world. Like, I think he won a belt or something.
Buffy: Like, yes.
Willow: Well, I hear he nods off a lot. So that's a plus.
Xander: So, we Bronzin' it tonight?
Willow: Wednesday, it's kinda beat.
Xander: Well, we could grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledgehammer, but, gosh, we did that last night. Hey, I got a plan: how 'bout miniature golf.
Willow: There's no course here.
Xander: Okay, uh, miniature tennis! A very tiny form of tennis that we could invent...

The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

To read makes our speaking English good.
-Xander (I Robot, You Jane)

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