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Two to Go Quotes
Two to Go Quotes

Xander: I think I'm gonna be sick.
Anya: Again?
Buffy: Xander, we don't have time.
Xander: I know, it's just... what happened back there, the sounds of it. The smell.
Buffy: I know.
Xander: Willow did that.

Xander: Well... she should be coming down at some point, shouldn't she? I mean, back there she was out of her head... running on grief and magicks.
Buffy: Doesn't matter . Willow just killed someone. Killing people changes you. Believe me, I know.
Xander: Warren was a cold-blooded killer of women just warming up. You ask me, that bastard had it coming to him.
Buffy: Maybe. Andrew and Jonathan don't.
Xander: This is still Willow we're dealing with, right?
Buffy: I hope so. Whatever she's going through, we have to stop her.

Andrew: I'm trying to hear something.
Jonathan: Like what?
Andrew: Signals.
Jonathan: Oh, for crying out loud. Signals? Who from, your probe-happy alien friends? Say, maybe we can trade a pack of cigarettes in for tin foil. Make you a nice antenna hat.
Andrew: Laugh it up, fuzzball. I figured it out. Warren never abandoned us. Well, not me, anyway. This is like his test. If we can figure out how he's communicating with us, then we'll be, you know, worthy.
Jonathan: You're checking for implants?
Andrew: Lex Luthor had a false epidermis escape kit in "Superman Versus the Amazing Spider-Man" Treasury edition-
Jonathan: Okay, first of all, those were sonic disrupters. And second of all... you are sadness personified. Waiting for Warren? Yeah, maybe he'll come bust us out of here on Santa's magic sleigh.

Jonathan: Um, Anya, you're gonna have to break this down for us a little.
Anya: Warren shot Buffy. Warren shot Tara. Buffy's alive. Tara's dead. Willow found out, and being the most powerful Wicca in the western hemisphere, decided to get the payback. With interest.
Andrew: Wh-what about Warren?
Anya: She killed him. Ripped him apart and bloodied up the forest doing it. Now she's coming here and the two of you are next.
Andrew: Oh my god... Warren.
Jonathan: Oh my god... me.

Buffy: We have to make a run for it.
Andrew: Are you kidding? She's like Dark Phoenix up there! You expect us just to outrun her?
Buffy: Pretty much.

Jonathan: I still can't believe that was Willow. I mean, I've known her almost as long as you guys. Willow was... you know. She packed her own lunches and wore floods and was always... just Willow.

Clem: Not that I'm knocking the nacho cheese ones. I like the taste. It's just the texture I can't deal with. So gritty. Kinda hurts my tongue. So, I'd give 'em a seven. Maybe a seven-five... and, you think this is dumb, don't you?
Dawn: Uh, no! No, as taste tests go, this is definitely one of the better ones I've been to.
Clem: I get it. No biggie. Uh, you wanna play cards
Dawn: Clem...
Clem: I can be a real boredom-buster, if you just give me half a chance.
Dawn: It's not you.
Clem: Still, I feel responsible. It's not fair... girl your age, cooped up in a crypt. Tell you what, let me get my hat and coat, I'll take you to a movie. We'll go nuts! PG-thirteen.

Jonathan: I just thought, you know, as long as you're protecting us, the least I could do is-
Buffy: I'm not protecting you, Jonathan. None of us are. We're doing this for Willow. The only reason it happens to be your lucky day? Is because Willow kills you, she crosses a line, I lose a friend. And I hate losing.

Willow: I understand the crying, you cry because you're human. But you weren't always.
Dawn: Yes, I was.
Willow: No, please. You're telling me you don't remember? You used to be some... mystic ball of energy. Maybe that's why you're crying all the time, Dawnie. 'Cause you don't belong here. Wanna go back? End the pain? You'll be happier. I'll be happier. We'll all be a lot happier without listening to the constant whining.
Dawn: Willow, stop...
Willow: "Mom!" "Buffy!" "Tara!" "Waah!" It's time you go back to being a little energy ball. No more tears, Dawnie.

Xander: Hey now, play nice, fellas, or you'll break our concentration.
Anya: Which means no protection spell.
Xander: And Willow will make you two boneless chickens skinless, too.
Andrew: And then what? You think your little witch buddy's gonna stop with us? You saw her! She's a truck-driving Magic Mama! And we've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa-burgers, and not one of you bunch has the midichlorians to stop her.
Xander: You've never had any tiny bit of sex, have you?
Anya: The annoying virgin has a point. What if Willow fillets their soles and then comes after us?
Xander: She won't.
Anya: You don't know that.
Xander: We're her friends, Anya. Her family. She would never hurt us.

Anya: I care if you live or die, Xander. I'm just not sure which one I want.
Xander: Again with the comfort. Look, we both know things might get ugly at, uh, Wiccapalooza. And if it gets really bad...
Anya: Let me guess. You'll propose?
Xander: I need to know if you're gonna turn on me. Use this little shindig as an excuse for some sweet revenge.
Anya: There is nothing in this world that could give me greater or more lasting satisfaction than to reap bloody vengeance upon you, Xander Harris. But I can't. Not officially, not magically. So smile, it's your lucky day. You got away with it, I can't hurt you.
Xander: Right, 'cause you varnishing the table with Spike, how could that possibly have hurt? It may have chafed...
Anya: That wasn't vengeance. It was solace.

Anya: You know, none of this would be happening if it weren't for you.
Xander: You think I don't know that? You think I'm the hero of this piece? I saw the gun. Before Warren raised it, I... I saw it, and I couldn't move. He shot two of my friends... before I could even... You want me to know how useless I am? That it's my fault? Thanks. Already got the memo.
Anya: I was talking about us.

Buffy: Willow, I know what you want to do, but you have to listen to me. The forces inside you are incredibly powerful. They're strong... but you're stronger. You have to remember you're still Willow.
Willow: Let me tell you something about Willow. She's a loser. And she always has been. People picked on Willow in junior high school, high school, up until college. With her stupid mousy ways. And now? Willow's a junkie.
Buffy: I can help.
Willow: The only thing Willow was ever good for... the only thing I had going for me... were the moments - just moments - when Tara would look at me and I was wonderful. And that will never happen again.

Willow: Oh, please! This is your pitch? Buffy, you hate it here as much as I do. I'm just more honest about it.
Buffy: That's not true.
Willow: You're trying to sell me on the world. The one where you lie to your friends when you're not trying to kill them? And you screw a vampire just to feel? And insane asylums are the comfy alternative? This world? Buffy, it's me. I know you were happier when you were in the ground. The only time you were ever at peace in your whole life is when you were dead. Until Willow brought you back.

Xander: Let's go.
Jonathan: What about Willow?
Xander: Buffy can handle her.
Dawn: Are you sure?
Xander: No, that's why we're leaving.

Willow: So. Here we are.
Buffy: Are we really gonna do this?
Willow: Come on, this is a huge deal for me! Six years as a side man, and now I get to be the Slayer.
Buffy: A killer isn't a Slayer. Being a Slayer means something you can't conceive of.
Willow: Oh, Buffy. You really need to have every square inch of your ass kicked.
Buffy: Then show me what you got. And I'll show you what a Slayer really is.

Jonathan: Xander's right. We're not leaving Sunnydale. When this is over, you and I are going back to jail to do our time.

Willow: Buffy... I gotta tell ya... I get it now. The Slayer thing really isn't about the violence. It's about the power. And there's no one in the world with the power to stop me now.
Giles: I'd like to test that theory.

The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.
-Giles (Enemies)

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