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Tabula Rasa Quotes
Tabula Rasa Quotes

Spike: Can we talk?
Buffy: Vocal-cord-wise, yes. With each other? No.

Spike: We... we kissed, you and me. All Gone With The Wind, with the rising music, and the rising... music, and what was that, Buffy?
Buffy: A spell?
Spike: Oh, don't get all prim and proper with me. I know what kind of girl you really are. Don't I.
Buffy: What we did is done. But I will never kiss you, Spike. Never touch you ever, ever again.

Buffy: If I were to stop saving his life, it would simple things up so much.

Anya: Do you think she... walked around on clouds, wearing like... Birkenstocks and played a harp? 'Cause those are just not flattering. You know, the clonky sandals, not a harp. I mean, who... doesn't look good with a harp? What? I'm just saying what everyone's thinking, right baby?
Xander: You are attractive and have many good qualities.
Tara: It's totally not stupid to wonder what it was like for Buffy. But it could have been any one of a zillion heavenly dimensions. All we know is that... it was a good place and she was happy there.
Willow: And we took her away from that. We wrecked it for her.
Xander: We didn't wreck. We didn't know.
Willow: We didn't wanna know. We were so selfish. I was so selfish.
Xander: Maybe we were. I just feel weird feeling bad that my friend's not dead. It's... too mind-boggling. So I've decided to simplify the whole thing. Me like Buffy. Buffy's alive, so, me glad.

Xander: Ah, we need to spend more time with her, just hang out. Maybe have... weekly dinners over here, or, uh... a book club. Short books. Videos.
Willow: I can fix it. I know a spell.
Tara: No! No more spells.
Willow: Then what? This isn't something that's gonna be fixed by a video club. I know I messed up, okay, and... I wanna fix it.
Tara: I can't believe that we are talking about this again. You know how powerful magic is, how dangerous. You could hurt someone, you... you could hurt yourself.
Willow: I know a spell that will make her forget she was ever in heaven.
Tara: God, what is wrong with you?!
Xander: I'm gonna go get that... phone you probably don't hear. High-pitched ring, ears like a dog.
Anya: I'm gonna help you with that.

Tara: Do you think I'm stupid? I know you used that spell on me.
Willow: Tara, I'm sorry, I-
Tara: Don't! Just... don't. There's nothing you can say.
Willow: Tara, I didn't mean to-
Tara: To what? Violate my mind like that? How could you, Willow? How could you after what Glory did to me?
Willow: Violate you? I... I-I didn't... mean anything like that, I-I, I just wanted us not to fight any more. I love you.
Tara: If you don't wanna fight, you don't fight. You don't use magic to make a fight disappear.
Willow: But I-I just wanted to make things better. Better for us.
Tara: But you don't get to decide what is better for us, Will. We're in a relationship, we are supposed to decide together.
Willow: Okay. I'm... I realize I, I did it wrong.
Tara: You did it the way you're doing everything. When things get rough, you... you don't even consider the options. You just... you just do a spell. It's not good for you, Willow. And it's not what magic is for.

Tara: I don't think this is gonna work.
Willow: Hey. It is, i-it's working. Tara, please. I need you, baby. I need you. I don't need magic, I-I don't, I... let me prove it to you, okay? I, I will go a month without doing any magic. I won't do a single spell. I swear.
Tara: Go a week. One week without magic.
Willow: Fine. Fine, that's easy!
Tara: Go a week, and then we'll see.

Giles: You have to be strong. I'm, I'm trying to-
Buffy: Trying to, to what? Desert me? Abandon me? Leave me all alone when I really need somebody?
Giles: I don't want to leave-
Buffy: So don't. Please don't.

Buffy: I can't do this without you.
Giles: You can. That's why I'm going. As long as I stay you'll always turn to me if there's something comes up that you feel that you can't handle, and I'll step in because, because... Because I can't bear to see you suffer.
Buffy: Me too. Hate suffering. Had about as much of it as I can take.
Giles: Believe me, I'm loathe to cause you more, but this... I've taught you all I can about being a slayer, and your mother taught you what you needed to know about life. You... you're not gonna trust that until you're forced to stand alone.
Buffy: But why now? Now that you know where I've been, what I'm going through?
Giles: Now more than ever. The temptation to give up is gonna be overwhelming, and I can't let-
Buffy: So I won't! No giving up. You can be here, and I can still be strong.
Giles: Buffy, I've thought this over... and over. I believe it's the right thing to do.
Buffy: You're wrong.

Willow: Thanks for the jacket. It's cold out there.
Xander: Not a problem, the cold only makes me stronger and more macho-like.

Giles: Spike?
Anya: Holy moly.
Spike: You need to give me asylum.
Xander: I'll say.
Spike: No need to get cute. It's a disguise. Happens there's a bloke I'd rather not see just now.

Buffy: Sorry. Everybody's sorry. I know that you guys are just trying to help... but it's just, it's too much. And, and I, I can't take it any more. If you guys... if you guys understood how it felt... how it feels. It's like I'm dying, it-

Willow: You don't know me?
Xander: Not a clue.
Willow: But you were just all like, 'oh, hey.'
Xander: Yeah, 'cause I thought you were a girl and I'd remember, but...
Willow: Well, I am a girl! I'm... not sure... who I am exactly, but...
Xander: Okay, why was I on the ground? And why are you all staring at me? Is this some kind of psych test? Am I getting paid for this?

Giles: Well, maybe we all got... terribly drunk and this is some sort of, uh, blackout.
Dawn: I don't think I drink.
Anya: I-I don't see any booze. I don't feel any head bumps. I don't see Allen Funt.
Giles: Who?
Xander: Okay. I'm not panicking. I'm not. I'm not. Stop looking at me like I'm panicking!

Willow: Weird books with weird covers, like Magic for Beginners. Oh!
Tara: This is a magic shop. A-a-a real magic shop.
Buffy: Well, maybe that's it. Maybe something magic happened-
Giles: Magic! Magic's all balderdash and chicanery. I'm afraid we don't know a bloody thing. Except I seem to be British, don't I? Uh, and a man. With... glasses. Well, that narrows it down considerably.

Giles: We'll all get our memory back, and it'll all be right as rain.
Spike: Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent. You Englishmen are always so... Bloody hell! Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks, oh God! I'm English!
Giles: Welcome to the nancy tribe.
Spike: You don't suppose you and I... we're not related, are we?
Anya: There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance.
Giles: And you do inspire a, um... particular feeling of... familiarity and... disappointment. Older brother?
Spike: Father. Oh, god, how I must hate you.
Giles: What did I do?
Spike: There's always something, and what's with the trollop?
Anya: Hey!
Giles: Her?
Spike: I saw you! Sleeping together.
Giles: Resting together.
Anya: Look! It's okay. We're engaged.
Giles: Oh.
Anya: It's a lovely ring.
Spike: Oh, great, a tarty stepmom who's half old Daddy's age.
Anya: Tarty?
Giles: Old? You little twerp, I'm young enough to still get carded.

Anya: Rupert.
Spike: Rupert!
Giles: You're not too old to put across my knee, you know... sonny. Anyway, what did I call you?
Spike: Um... 'Made with care for Randy.' Randy Giles? Why not just call me 'Horny Giles,' or 'Desperate for a Shag Giles'? I knew there was a reason I hated you!

Willow: Oh, hey, I have a name on my jacket. Harris.
Xander: Harris? That's my last name. Maybe I have a brother and you go out with him. Or maybe you go out with me.
Willow: Well, we did wake up all snuggly-wuggly. Maybe you're my boyfriend.
Xander: Either that, or I got one pissed-off brother out there somewhere.

Dawn: So you don't have a name?
Buffy: Of course I do. I just don't happen to know it.
Dawn: You want me to name you?
Buffy: Oh, that's sweet, but I think I can name myself. I'll name me... Joan.
Dawn: Ugh!
Buffy: What? Did you just 'ugh' my name?
Dawn: No! I just... I mean, it's so blah. Joan?
Buffy: I like it. I feel like a Joan.
Dawn: Fine, that's your purgative.
Buffy: Prerogative.
Dawn: Whatever, Joan.
Buffy: Whatever, Umad.
Dawn/Buffy: Boy, you're a pain in the / Boy, you're bossy!
Dawn: Do you think we're-
Buffy: Sisters?

Spike: Dad can drive. He's bound to have some classic midlife-crisis transport. Something red, shiny, shaped like a penis.

Buffy: Did you guys see that?
Spike: Vampires!
Tara: Maybe it's Halloween.
Dawn: It doesn't feel like Halloween.
Xander: Even if it is, those guys are definitely not kids, and those are definitely not costumes. Randy's right. Looks like we have vampires.

Vamp: Send out Spike!
Giles: They seem to want spikes.
Spike: Oh! Let's give 'em these.
Giles: Well done.

Vamp: Slayer, come out and play!
Tara: 'Slay her,' that's just what they said before. Th-th-they're gonna use the spikes to-
Buffy: To slay someone? A female someone! Who do those jerks think they are?
Anya: Bloodsuckers. They kill by sucking blood. Take it easy, Joan.

Xander: Now I'm not sure what I am so bear with me here. Now I lay me down to sleep, uh, shabat Israel, uh, om, om.

Buffy: I think I know why Joan's the boss. I'm like a superhero or something!

Anya: This is the book for us.
Giles: Oh, good. Does it focus on mind control, or-or memory loss?
Anya: Not exactly, I just, um... my intuition tells me this is the book. And I figure being a magic shop owner and a natural at the supernatural, I should trust my intuition.
Giles: Y-yes, fine, but as you recall, I too am a magic shop owner.
Anya: True, but my intuition says that you're not so much the magic guy and more of a paperwork type.

Spike: Bloody hell, what are you doing?
Buffy: You don't know who you are.
Spike: Right, none of us do, and we're being chased by-
Buffy: You're a vampire!
Spike: How can you say - I, me, a vampire? No.
Buffy: Check the lumpies. And the teeth. I kill your kind.
Spike: And I bite yours. So how come I don't wanna bite you? And why am I fightin' other vampires? I must be a noble vampire. A good guy. On a mission of redemption. I help the hopeless. I'm a vampire with a soul.
Buffy: A vampire with a soul? Oh my god, how lame is that?

Spike: I'm a hero really. I mean, to be cast such an ugly lot in life and then to rise above it. To seek out better, nobler things. It's inspirational, isn't it? And the two of us... natural enemies, thrown together to stand against the forces of darkness. Utter trust. No thought of me biting you, no thought of you staking me.
Buffy: Depends on how long you keep on yapping.

Giles: Clearly that is not a helpful book, darling. Come down, and we will go about fixing this in a sensible fashion!
Anya: Sensible! You think it's sensible for me to go down into that pit of cotton-top hell, and let them hippity-hop all over my vulnerable flesh?
Giles: Fine, then just stay up there and keep making bunnies! That's a capital plan!
Anya: What capital? I never know what you're talking about. Loo, shag, brolly, what the hell is all that?
Giles: What? There's no way that you could remember me saying any of those words.
Anya: Oh, bugger off, you brolly.

Willow: How you doin', Dawn?
Dawn: Uh, I'm okay. It's scary... but, weirdly? Kind of familiar.
Willow: I know what you mean.
Dawn: How are you?
Willow: A little confused. I mean, I'm... all sweaty... and trapped, no memory, hiding in a pipe from a vampire... And I think I'm kinda gay.

Giles: Look what you've done, you lunatic woman!
Anya: Don't blame me, you snobby, snotty, thinks he's so great kind of ... and I feel compelled to take some vengeance on you.
Giles: Ow!! God, no wonder I'm leaving you!
Anya: What?!
Giles: Look! One-way ticket to London, and out of this engagement!
Anya: Of all the nerve! Now look at what you've done! That thing is gonna eat my ring.

Anya: Oh, thank goodness.
Giles: I'm so sorry, dear.
Anya: No. Rupy, I'm sorry. You were right. That was the wrong book.
Giles: Oh... um... Yes, it was. But I'm, I'm still sorry.
Anya: Don't leave me.
Giles: Oh, Anya.

Xander: Sorry, I just got back the memory of seeing King Ralph.

Giles: Well, this place certainly needs a good tidying.
Anya: Oh, yes. Yes. Yes.

Shark Demon: You're an odd duck, Mister Spike. Fighting your own kind... palling around with a Slayer. And whoa, that suit! Chutzpah must be your middle name. Uh, hey, look, um... about our little debt problem, it's okay, I don't need the kittens.
Spike: You'll get paid. I'm no welsher.
Shark Demon: Right, sure. You're good for it, I know that. I'm just going to, uh... yeah.

The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

Buffy, this is all about fear. It's understandable, but you can't let it control you. 'Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to anger.' No wait, hold on. 'Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side.' Hold on, no, umm, 'First you get the wimmin, then you get the money, then you...' okay, can we forget that?
-Xander (The Freshman)

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