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Surprise Quotes
Surprise Quotes

Buffy: Um... I-I had this... dream that Drusilla was alive.
Angel: What happened?
Buffy: She killed you. Right in front of me.
Angel: It was just a dream. It wasn't real.
Buffy: But it felt so real.
Angel: It wasn't. I'm right here.
Buffy: Angel, th-this happened before. The dreams that I had about the Master, they came true.
Angel: Still, not every dream you have comes true. I mean, what else did you dream last night? Can you remember?
Buffy: I dreamt... I dreamt that Giles and I opened an office supply warehouse in Vegas.
Angel: See my point?

Buffy: This is nice. I like seeing you first thing in the morning.
Angel: It's bedtime for me.
Buffy: Well, then I like seeing you at bedtime. Um... Um, heh... Y-you know what I mean.
Angel: I think so. What do you mean?
Buffy: I like seeing you. The part at the end of the night where we say good-bye... It's getting harder.

Willow: 'I like you at bedtime?' You actually said that?
Buffy: I know, I know.
Willow: Man, that's like... I-I dunno, that's moxie or something.
Buffy: Totally unplanned. It just... came out.
Willow: And he was into it? I mean, he wants to see you at bedtime, too?
Buffy: Yeah, I, I, I think he does. Well, I, I mean he-he's cool about it.
Willow: Well, of course he is. 'Cause he's cool. I mean, he would never... you know...
Buffy: Push.
Willow: Right. H-he's not the type.

Willow: Carpe diem. You told me that once.
Buffy: 'Fish of the day'?
Willow: Not carp. Carpe. It means 'seize the day.'
Buffy: Right. I... I think we're going to. Seize it. Once you get to a certain point, then seizing is sort of inevitable.
Willow: Wow...
Buffy: Yeah.
Willow: Wow...
Buffy: Oh...
Willow: Wow!

Willow: Wow.
Buffy: Yeah. Hey, speaking of 'wow' potential, there's Oz over there. What are we thinking, any sparkage?
Willow: He's nice. Hey, I like his hands.
Buffy: Mm. A fixation on insignificant detail is a definite crush sign.
Willow: Oh, I don't know, though. I mean, he is a senior.
Buffy: You think he's too old 'cause he's a senior? Please. My boyfriend had a bicentennial.
Willow: That's true. Uh... I guess... I just...
Buffy: You can't spend the rest of your life waiting for Xander to wake up and smell the hottie. Make a move. Do the talking thing.
Willow: Well, what if the talking thing becomes the awkward-silence thing?
Buffy: Well, you won't know until you try.

Willow: Do you guys, uh, have a gig tonight?
Oz: Oh, no. Practice. See, our band's kinda moving towards this new sound where... we suck, so... practice.
Willow: I think you guys sound good.
Oz: Thanks.
Willow: I bet you have a lot of groupies.
Oz: It happens. Now, I'm living groupie-free nowadays. I'm clean.

Oz: I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night. And I'm kinda nervous about it, actually. It's interesting.
Willow: Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes.
Oz: Yeah, it helps. It-it creates a comfort zone. Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?
Willow: Oh! I can't!
Oz: Well, see, I like that you're unpredictable.
Willow: Oh, it's just it's Buffy's birthday, and we're throwing her a surprise party.
Oz: It's okay.
Willow: But you could come. If you want to.
Oz: Well, I don't wanna crash.
Willow: No, it's fine! Well, you could be m... my date.
Oz: All right. I'm in.
Willow: ...I said 'date'.

Xander: So... Buffy's party. Manana.
Cordelia: Well, just because she's Miss Save-The-World and everything, you have to make a big deal? I have to cook! And everything.
Xander: You're cooking?
Cordelia: Well, I'm chips and dips girl.
Xander: Horrors! All that opening and stirring.
Cordelia: And shopping and carrying.
Xander: Well, then you should have a person who does such things for you.
Cordelia: Well, that's what I've been saying to my father, but does he listen?

Xander: I dunno. This... thing with us, despite our better judgment, it keeps happening. Maybe we should just admit that we're dating.
Cordelia: Groping in a broom closet isn't dating. You don't call it a date until the guy spends money.
Xander: Fine. I'll spend, then we'll grope. Whatever. I just think it's some kind of whacked that we feel we have to hide it from all our friends.
Cordelia: Well, of course you wanna tell everybody. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I, on the other hand, have everything to be ashamed of.
Xander: You know what? 'Nuff said. Forget it. It must've been my multiple-personality guy talking. I call him Idiot Jed, glutton for punishment.

Giles: Oh, good morning. Is everything in order for the party?
Xander: Absolutely. You ready to get down, you funky party weasel?
Giles: Here comes Buffy. Now remember: discretion is the better part of valor.
Xander: You coulda just said, 'shh!' God, are all you Brits such drama queens?

Xander: Buffy, I feel a pre-birthday spanking coming on.
Jenny: I'd curb that impulse if I were you, Xander.
Xander: Check, cancel spanking.

Buffy: I had a dream that Drusilla was alive and she killed Angel. I-it just really freaked me out.
Giles: You fear it was more of a, a... a portent?
Buffy: See, I don't know. I don't wanna start a big freakout over nothing.
Giles: Still, best to be, uh, on the alert. If Drusilla is alive, i-i-it could be a fairly... cataclysmic state of affairs.
Xander: Again, so many words! Couldn't you just say, 'we'd be in trouble'?
Giles: Go to class, Xander.
Xander: Gone. Notice the economy of phrasing: 'gone.' Simple. Direct.

Joyce: Mall trip for your birthday on Saturday. Don't forget.
Buffy: Space on a mom-sponsored shopping opportunity? Not likely.
Joyce: Hmm. So, does, um, 17 feel any different than 16?
Buffy: It's funny you should ask that. You know, I woke up feeling more responsible, mature and levelheaded.
Joyce: Really? Tch. It's uncanny.
Buffy: I now possess the qualities one looks for in a... licensed driver.
Joyce: Buffy...
Buffy: You said we could talk about it again when I was 17.
Joyce: Do you really think you're ready, Buffy?

Jenny: I promise you. Angel still suffers. And he makes amends for his evil. He even saved my life.
Enyos: So you just forget that he destroyed the most beloved daughter of your tribe?! That he killed every man, woman and child that touched her life?! Vengeance demands that his pain be eternal as ours is! If this, this girl gives him one minute of happiness, it is one minute too much!
Jenny: I'm sorry. I thought...
Enyos: You thought what?! You thought you are Jenny Calendar now?! You are still Janna, of the Kalderash people! A Gypsy.
Jenny: I know... Uncle. I know.
Enyos: Then prove it. Your time for watching is past. The girl and him, it ends now! Do what you must to take her from him!
Jenny: I will see to it.

Giles: Even if she is alive, uh, we can still protect Angel. Dreams aren't prophecies, Buffy. Y-y-y-you dreamt that the Master had risen, but you stopped it from happening.
Xander: You ground his bones to make your bread.
Buffy: That's true. Except for the bread part.

Xander: Well, that's not a perky birthday puppy.
Willow: So much for our surprise party. I bought little hats and everything.
Xander: Mm-hm.
Willow: Oh, well. I guess I'll tell Cordelia.
Giles: No, you won't. We're having a party tonight.
Xander: Looks like Mr. Caution Man, but the sound he makes is funny.
Giles: Buffy's surprise party will go ahead as we planned. Except I won't be wearing the little hat.
Willow: But Buffy and Angel...
Giles: May well be in danger... as they have been before, and, I imagine, will be again. One thing I've learned in my tenure here on the Hellmouth is that there is no good time to relax. And Buffy's turning 17 just this once, and she deserves a party.
Xander: You're a great man of our time.
Willow: And anyway, Angel's coming. So she'll be able to protect him and have cake.
Giles: Precisely.

Cordelia: Surprise!
Oz: That pretty much sums it up.

Oz: Yeah. Hey, did everybody see that guy just turn to dust?
Willow: Uh, well, uh... sort of.
Xander: Yep. Vampires are real. A lot of them live in Sunnydale. Willow will fill you in.
Willow: I know it's hard to accept at first.
Oz: Actually, it explains a lot.

Xander: Well, clearly the Hellmouth's answer to 'what do you get the Slayer who has everything?'

Angel: It-it's a legend... way before my time... of a demon brought forth to rid the Earth of the plague of humanity... separate the righteous from the wicked... and to burn the righteous down. They call him the Judge.
Giles: The Judge? This is he?
Angel: Not all of him.
Buffy: Um, still needing backstory here.
Giles: Um... He, he, he couldn't be killed, yes? Um, a-an army was sent against him. Most of them died... but, uh, finally they were able to dismember him, but, uh... not kill him.
Angel: The pieces were scattered... buried in every corner of the Earth.
Jenny: So all these parts are being brought here.
Buffy: By Drusilla. The vamps outside were Spike's men.
Angel: She's just crazy enough to do it.
Willow: Do what, reassemble the Judge?
Angel: And bring forth Armageddon.
Cordelia: Is anybody else gonna have cake?

Angel: She's right. I gotta get this to the remotest region possible.
Buffy: But that's not months.
Angel: I gotta catch a cargo ship to Asia, maybe trek to Nepal...
Buffy: You know, those newfangled flying machines really are much safer than they used to be.
Angel: I can't fly. There's no sure way to guard against the daylight. I-I-I don't like this any more than you do, Buffy. But there's no other choice.
Buffy: When?
Angel: Tonight. As soon as possible.
Buffy: But it's my birthday.

Angel: I should go the rest of the way alone.
Buffy: Okay.
Angel: But I'll be back. I will.
Buffy: When? Six months, a year? You don't know how long it's gonna take or if we'll even...
Angel: Hey... If we'll even what?
Buffy: Well, if you haven't noticed, someone pretty much always wants us dead.
Angel: Don't say that. We'll be fine.
Buffy: We don't know that.
Angel: We can't know, Buffy. Nobody can. That's just the deal. I have something for you. For your birthday. I... I was gonna give it to you earlier, but...
Buffy: It's beautiful.
Angel: My people -- before I was changed -- they exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It's a claddagh ring. The hands represent friendship, the crown represents loyalty... and the heart... Well, you know... Wear it with the heart pointing towards you. It means you belong to somebody. Like this.

Giles: They should be back by now.
Willow: Maybe Buffy needed a few minutes to pull herself together. Poor Buffy, on her birthday and everything.
Xander: Hmm, it's sad, granted. But let's look at the upside for a moment. I mean, what kind of a future would she've really had with him? She's got 2 jobs -- Denny's waitress by day, Slayer by night -- and Angel's always in front of the TV with a big blood belly, and he's dreamin' of the glory days when Buffy still thought this whole creature of the night routine was a big turnon.
Willow: You've thought way too much about this.
Xander: No, no. That's just the beginning. Have I told you the part where I fly into town in my private jet and take Buffy out for prime rib?
Willow: Xander...
Xander: And she cries?

Giles: The more I study the Judge, the less I like him. His touch can literally burn the humanity out of you. A true creature of evil can survive the process. No human ever has.
Xander: What's the problem? We send Cordy to fight this guy, and we go for pizza.

Willow: Better do a round robin. Xander, you go first.
Buffy: Good call.
Giles: Round robin?
Willow: It's when everybody calls everybody else's mom and tells them they're staying at everyone's house.
Buffy: Thus freeing us up for world saveage.
Willow: And all-night keggers! What, only Xander gets to make dumb jokes?

Buffy: I think I know where Spike and Drusilla are.
Giles: That's very good, however, you, you do need a plan. I-I know you're concerned, Buffy, but you can't just go off half-cocked.
Buffy: I have a plan. Angel and I go to the factory and do recon, figure out how far they've gotten assembling the Judge. You guys check any places the boxes could be coming into town. Shipping yards, airports, anything. We need to stop them from getting all the boxes in one place.
Giles: Yes. Yes, well, um, actually, that's quite a good plan.

Buffy: You almost went away today.
Angel: We both did.
Buffy: Angel... I feel like I lost you... You're right, though. We can't be sure of anything.
Angel: Shhh. I...
Buffy: You what?
Angel: I love you. I try not to, but I can't stop.
Buffy: Me, me, too. I can't either.
Angel: Buffy, maybe we shouldn't...
Buffy: Don't. Just kiss me.

The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

You know what? 'Nuff said. Forget it. It must've been my multiple-personality guy talking. I call him Idiot Jed, glutton for punishment.
-Xander (Surprise)

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