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Smashed Quotes
Smashed Quotes

Buffy: Wow. A mugging. Haven't gotten one of those in a while. Usually it's blood, and with the horror... just a good old-fashioned mugging. Kinda sweet actually. Oh, uh, probably not for you. Here. Go. Now. Not too sweet for you either, huh? But come on, rush me. It'll be funny.

Buffy: What the hell are you doing?
Spike: I thought they were demons.
Buffy: Way to go with the keen observiness, Jessica Fletcher.
Spike: Remind me not to help you.
Buffy: More often?
Spike: Hey. Little sympathy for the man with the migraine here, can we?
Buffy: Well, that's what you get for attacking a human.
Spike: Yeah. You'd think if the government was gonna put a chip in my head, they'd at least make it so I could attack criminals and that sort.
Buffy: Yes, because muggers deserve to be eaten. Just have to get your rocks off fightin' demons.
Spike: There are other ways.
Buffy: And to that, an extreme 'see you later.'

Spike: You're a tease, you know that, Slayer? Get a fellow's motor revving, let the tension marinate a couple-a days, then bam! Crown yourself the ice queen.
Buffy: Need a few more metaphors for that little mix?
Spike: It's only a matter of time before you realize I'm the only one here for you, pet. You got no one else!

Willow: What's the matter, Amy? You lonely? Oh, we need to get you a nice companion rat that you can love... play with... and grow attached to, until one day they leave you for no good reason. Won't that be fun? Relax, Amy. I'm just kiddin'. I swear, if I could figure out how to turn you back... Any way... Revele!

Warren: Dude, what are you doing?
Jonathan: We're not breaking into Langley here. It's Sunnydale.
Andrew: Well, you never know what new stuff they have, better safe than-
Warren: Okay, the security system here is a guy named Rusty.

Andrew: See, that's cool. How come he gets to play with all the cool stuff?
Jonathan: Because I'm allergic to methane and you're still afraid of hot things?

Rusty: What are you boys doing?
Warren: Um, we're with a tour group. The Get-The-Freeze-Ray tour group. Musta gotten separated.
Rusty: Museum closed five hours ago.
Warren: Really?
Rusty: Uh-huh.
Warren: Huh! Guess we just lost track of time, we should probably get the freeze ray out of here now.

Andrew: Is he gonna like-
Warren: Oh, he'll be fine. Yeah, he'll defrost in a couple of days, no harm, no foul.
Andrew: Won't he tell on us?
Warren: And say what? 'Two guys and a mime took me out with their freeze ray'? That's likely.

Amy: Mm-hm. Yeah. Just ... you know. Everything feels weird. I mean, it's like... I felt like I was in that cage for weeks. But it can still be okay ... right? I-I can still get into the swing of things, like... prom's coming up. I-I'm so hoping Larry would ask me. We would make such a splash at- Oh. Oh god. He hasn't asked someone else, has he?
Willow: Uh, Amy... three things we have to talk about. One, Larry's gay. Two, Larry's dead. And three, high school's... kinda over.
Amy: How long was I in the cage? How long?!

Amy: The whole school? By a giant snake thing. Okay, still adjusting. Hi Buffy.
Buffy: Hi. How've you been?
Amy: Rat. You?
Buffy: Dead.
Amy: Oh.

Amy: Sorry about your mom.
Buffy: Thanks.
Amy: It's crazy, all the things that've happened since I went away.
Buffy: No kidding.
Amy: Snyder got eaten by a snake... high school got destroyed...
Buffy: Oh, Gatorade has a new flavor. Blue.
Amy: See? Head spinning. People getting frozen... Willow's dating girls... and did you hear about Tom and Nicole?!

Buffy: Look. I'm sorry, okay? I'm-I'm sorry if you thought that it meant more.
Spike: But...
Buffy: But... when I kissed you... you know I was thinking about Giles, right?
Spike: You know, I always wondered about you two.
Buffy: What? Oh, gross, Spike! He left. I was depressed. Ergo vulnerability and, and bad kissing decisions. Okay, but, that's all that it was. You have to let it go.

Spike: A man can change.
Buffy: You're not a man. You're a thing.
Spike: Stop walking away.
Buffy: Don't touch me!

Tara: Good god, that's a lot of shake. I mean, I know, part of our... big... movie and milkshake fun day, but... good god, that's a lot of shake.
Dawn: Helps to wash down the Raisinettes.
Tara: Promise me that you will eat something green tonight. Leafy green, not... gummi green.

Tara: You know that I will always be there for you, right? There, there was actually more of a lead-in when I practiced that at home.
Dawn: I know.
Tara: It's just... I wanted you to know that... my moving out had nothing to do with you, and I, I will never stop loving you.
Dawn: I know. Do you think you'll ever get back together?
Tara: I wish I knew.
Dawn: But you still love her.
Tara: Very much. I just... sometimes... other things get in the way.

Xander: Well, you know, I am kinda beat, and I bet you that's tiring, that... thing you're doing there...
Willow: Guys, I'm fine. What's the deal with-
Anya: Oh, for crying out loud. This is bizarre. You're all, 'la la la!' with, with the magic, and the not talking, like everything's normal, when we all know that Tara up and left you and now everyone's scared to say anything to you. Except me. Is this that thing I do that you were commenting-
Willow: Guys... it's okay. It's hard... but i-it's better this way. Little things just... starting taking over, things that didn't matter, but we saw them differently, so... they got blown out of proportion. And, this time away will help us sort through things. Really. Now, let's just keep working on this. I don't wanna leave Amy alone in the house so long.
Xander: Amy, is she... how is she adjusting?
Willow: It's hard to say. It's a lot to take in. I keep expecting her to do, like, ratty stuff, you know, licking her hands clean, shredding newspaper, leaving little pellets in the corner.
Buffy: Let's definitely not leave her alone in the house too long.

Jonathan: I didn't know it'd be so sparkly.
Andrew: It's so big.
Warren: Yes, gentlemen, it turns out, size is everything. No offense, man.

Spike: Examine my chip, or else Mister... Fett here is the first to die.
Jonathan: Hey, all right, let's not, let's not do anything crazy here.
Andrew: That's a limited edition, 1979 mint condition Boba Fett.
Warren: All right, dude... chill. You can still make it right. You know you don't wanna do this.
Spike: What I want... is answers, nimrod.
Warren: Right. But you don't wanna hurt the Fett, 'cause man, you're not comin' back from that. You know, you don't just do that and walk away.
Spike: That right? Let's find out.

Andrew: You're English, right?
Spike: Yeah.
Andrew: I've seen every episode of Doctor Who. Not Red Dwarf, though, 'cause, um...
Jonathan: 'Cause it's not out yet on DVD.
Andrew: Right. It's not out on... DVD.

Spike: Help me out here, Spock, I don't speak loser.
Warren: Okay, right, um... your chip works fine, yeah.
Spike: There's gotta be something wrong-
Warren: No, no, listen. I don't know what that thing does... I'd like to...
Spike: Hey.
Warren: But whatever it is, it works fine. There's no deterioration of the signal, it still is coming through on a steady pulse. Which it's supposed to.

Spike: Nothing wrong with me. Something wrong with her.

Willow: I know. Xander engaged, I couldn't believe it either.
Amy: It's just so weird. So what's she like?
Willow: Thousand-year-old capitalist ex-demon with rabbit phobia.
Amy: Well, that's so his type.

Buffy: We suck.
Xander: We need new brains. What's up with Willow?
Buffy: Out with Amy, I guess.
Anya: Great, someone to do more magic with.
Buffy: But at least she's not all cooped up and crying. That's forward momentum. Now, I know that I don't... know everything that happened with her and Tara, but it-
Xander: Tara thinks Willow is doing too much magic. And she's not the only one.
Buffy: I know. But I-I think she'll be fine. You know, it's, it's Willow. She of the level head.
Anya: Well, those are the ones you have to watch out for the most. Responsible types.
Buffy: Right, she might go crazy and start alphabetizing everything.
Anya: I'm serious. Responsible people are... always so concerned with... being good all the time, that when they finally get a taste of being bad... they can't get enough. It's like all kablooey.
Buffy: That's not true.
Anya: Okay, not kablooey, more like bam.
Xander: It's human nature, Buff. Will's getting a taste of something powerful, way bigger than her.
Anya: Yeah, she was getting out of control with it before Tara left, and now that she's gone...
Xander: It's gotta be seductive. Just giving in to it. Going totally wild. We need to keep an eye on her.

Spike: Slayer.
Buffy: Spike?
Spike: Meet me at the cemetery. Twenty minutes. Come alone.
Buffy: Spike?
Spike: Bloody hell. Yes, it's me.
Buffy: You're... calling me on the phone?
Spike: Just be there.
Buffy: Why? Are you... helping again? You have a lead on this frost monster thingie?
Spike: Something like that, yeah. Thought you might be up for a little grunt work.
Buffy: What?! No, no-no grunting!
Spike: I was talking shop, luv, but if you got other ideas... you, me, cozy little tomb with a view...

Buffy: I'm just saying, all the things that have happened lately? Okay, the, the bank robbery, the jewelry heist...
Xander: The exploding lint.
Buffy: I-is it me, or do these things seem really-
Anya: Lame?
Buffy: Well, I was gonna go with unusual, but, yeah.

Spike: Slayer.
Buffy: And so my night is now complete.
Spike: You never showed.
Buffy: Sorry. Little busy actually doing stuff.
Spike: You shouldn't be so flip, luv.
Buffy: What are you gonna do, walk behind me to death?
Spike: I'm just saying things might be a little different.

Spike: Guess what I just found out. Looks like I'm not as toothless as you thought, sweetheart.
Buffy: How?
Spike: Don't you get it? Don't you see? You came back wrong.

Spike: Came back a little less human than you were.
Buffy: You're wrong.
Spike: Then how come you're so spooked, luv? And why can I - do that?
Buffy: You're wrong.

Spike: Oh, poor little lost girl. She doesn't fit in anywhere. She's got no one to love.
Buffy: Me? I'm lost? Look at you, you idiot! Poor Spikey. Can't be a human, can't be a vampire. Where the hell do you fit in? Your job is to kill the slayer. But all you can do is follow me around making moon eyes.
Spike: I'm in love with you.
Buffy: You're in love with pain. Admit it. You like me... because you enjoy getting beat down. So really, who's screwed up?
Spike: Hello! Vampire! I'm supposed to be treading on the dark side. What's your excuse?

The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

Y'know, I really felt sorry for you. You've suffered. There's one thing I really didn't factor into all this. You're a thundering loony!
-Buffy (Out of Mind, Out of Sight)

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