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Showtime Quotes
Showtime Quotes

Buffy: Hey! Try picking on someone my own size.

Buffy: Next time you're attacked—
Rona: Whoa, whoa—next time? You saying I'm gonna get attacked again?
Buffy: Welcome to the hellmouth.

Kennedy: You don't have to do this. Flooring it. In the bag. 'Cause nice big comfy bed right here. I mean, you ought to know. Your bed.
Willow: Yeah, but no. I'm OK. I just, I like it down here. It's firm.
Kennedy: Funny, you look a little uncomfortable.

Xander: Maybe we can save the maybes for a more dayish part of the day, girls. Potential slayers can function without sleep. Me, I'm no good without my usual 90 minutes.
Andrew: I'm with him. Keep the chatter down! Or, speak up so I can hear you. I'm bored. Episode I bored.
Buffy: You guys are all still up?
Xander: Ah! Who needs sleep?

Rona: Um... why is that guy tied to a chair?
Xander: The question you'll soon be asking is, "Why isn't he gagged?"

Molly: Fair enough. I'm a bit peckish meself.
Rona: Bit what as well?
Anya: That's English for "hungry."
Rona: Oh, here I thought "hungry" was English for "hungry."

Buffy: The First's always gonna be one step ahead of us, Giles. I need to know how to stop it. No, not stop it, hurt it. I want to hurt it real bad. Tell me how.
Giles: I—I don't know, Buffy. I've exhausted all the sources I have left with little result. The Watcher's records are still really all we have to go on.
Anya: I made the rounds myself. Tried to dig up anything useful from the demon community.
Xander: They're a community now? What's next, the Ladies' Auxiliary?

Buffy: Wh-what is Botox's eye?
Giles: Beljoxa's Eye. It's an oracle type creature that exists in a dark dimension.
Anya: Internal vortex more like.
Buffy: Fun.
Anya: Not really, no.

Buffy/First: Dreaming of me again, aren't you? Poor Spike. He still thinks I believe in him. Be realistic. I don't even believe in myself. At least not enough to risk my skin to save your ass. Not enough to face... that. I'm sorry, Spike. But you need to accept this. You know it never would've worked out. You need to let go so we can both move on. I promise, soon it'll all be—
Spike: She will come for me. She will come for me. She will come for me.
Buffy/First: No, I won't.

Torg: You broke my heart, Anyanka.
Anya: Don't be so dramatic, Torg. You don't even have a heart. Six spleens, two stomachs, half a brain maybe, but no heart.
Torg: Don't mock this. The night we spent together was...important to me.
Anya: It was one date. And it wasn't even a date. We just happened to be invited to the same massacre, and—and you hit on me after I had a few...
Torg: I remember, you wore pink.
Anya: Those were entrails.
Giles: I'm sorry, perhaps we could skip the nostalgia— Sorry, no, no, carry on.
Anya: OK, Torg, look, you open this tiny little gateway to the Beljoxa's Eye for me, and I'll— You and I will go— I'll have sex with you again.
Torg: Ugh, please, you're human. The way you look now, I wouldn't touch you for all the kittens in Korea.
Anya: You're rejecting my offer of sexual bribery? What am I, a leper in this town? I can't even give it away!
Torg: Come back when you are a leper.

Anya: It's the hair, right? Not attractive?

Andrew: Ow! Watch it! That's my joystick hand.
Xander: I'm not gonna touch that one.

Buffy: So, I'm here to tell you, if you try anything, try to run— Did you ever see the movie Misery?
Andrew: Six times. But the book was scarier than the movie 'cause instead of crushing his foot with a sledge hammer, Kathy Bates chops it off with— I'll be good.

Eve: What—what are we all doing here?
Kennedy: It's called training. Didn't your watcher ever teach you the word?
Rona: I never had a watcher. I only just found out what I was—or what I might be—after those crazy-ass monks came after me.
Eve: I meant why are we all bothering? It's not like we can make a difference.
Molly: We've gotta try. We gotta keep our reflexes sharp.

Rona: Excuse the newness of me, but, uh, just so I understand, if a slayer dies—
Eve: Well, when the slayer dies. I mean, nobody lives forever, right?
Rona: Then one of us—
Eve: Get's activated. Uh-huh.
Molly: I prefer "called."
Vi: I heard there's more than one.
Kennedy: More than one what?
Vi: Slayer. There's another one—somewhere.
Molly: That doesn't make any sense.
Eve: Like any of this does. No matter how many there are, one of us is gonna be the next slayer, with the weight of the world on her shoulders.
Chloe: It won't be me. I mean, not now. I mean, I'm too young.
Kennedy: Doesn't work that way. In fact, the younger, the better. In fact, I'm starting to think it might be too late for me.
Eve: Never too late. It could be anyone. Especially since there's so few of us left. They'll just run through each one of us, one after the other. Kinda creepy, huh? All we do is wait around for each other to die.

Andrew: OK, here's another interesting thing: how come the slayer's always a girl?
Dawn: I dunno. 'Cause girls are cooler?
Andrew: I think a guy slayer would be badass. Like—like if there was this ninja, a guy slayer would be like, "you may be silent, but this'll shut you up." Hiya.
Dawn: Buffy could stomp ninja ass.
Andrew: The silent warrior? Ha ha—I think not. She can't even slay that special vampire. Everyone's saying.

Andrew: What about me? Did it ever occur to anyone that I could be a lot more useful around here? I used to be an evil genius. Hello?
Dawn: And what was your genius thing?
Andrew: Well, um, raising demons mostly. OK, so, not for now, but also there was planning. There were, um, blueprints. I can be in this, kicking it righteous. Yeah. Oh, oh, yeah.
Dawn: Buffy said if you talked enough, I'm allowed to kill you.
Andrew: Not even.
Dawn: Even.
Andrew: License to kill, huh? Pretty cool. You know, Timothy Dalton never got his props 'cause he came in at the end of an old regime, but he had it goin' on. He went rogue with the Broccolis. They were just treading water, stylistically.
Dawn: Is there a language that you're speaking?
Andrew: I'm so alone.
Dawn: Then maybe you shouldn't've killed your only friend.

Buffy: I said get away from them now.
Dawn: Buffy, what did Eve do?
Xander: That's not Eve.
Buffy: Eve's dead.
Rona: I don't—I don't understand.
Eve: Oops! One more down. Oh, well, can't save 'em all, can ya, Buffy? Thanks for the slumber party, girls. It's been real fun the last couple of nights. I learned a whole lot—
Buffy: Shut up, and get out!
Eve: Or you'll do what? I'll be sending a guest over to visit y'all later on tonight, after the sun goes down of course. Try and make him feel welcome before he rips y'all to pieces. Bye.
Andrew: I need to go wash up again.

Beljoxa's Eye: It cannot be fought, it cannot be killed. The First Evil has been and always will be. Since before the universe was born, long after there is nothing else, it will go on.
Giles: I refuse to believe that. There must be some way to destroy it.
Beljoxa's Eye: What, am I talking to myself here? There's no way.
Anya: OK, we tried. Let's go, Giles.
Giles: Are you saying that The First will succeed in—in wiping out the line of slayers?
Beljoxa's Eye: The eye sees not the future, only the truth of the now and before.
Anya: Yes, we've all got that—it's called memory. Can you help us out with something a little bit more demony?
Giles: If The First has been around for all time, then why hasn't it attempted something like this before? Why now?
Beljoxa's Eye: The opportunity has only recently presented itself.
Giles: Opportunity?
Beljoxa's Eye: The mystical forces surrounding the chosen line have become irrevocably altered, become unstable, vulnerable.
Anya: Something The First did?
Beljoxa's Eye: The First Evil did not cause the disruption, only seized upon it to extinguish the lives of the chosen forever.
Giles: Then what has caused the disruption? What—what is responsible for letting this happen?
Beljoxa's Eye: The slayer.

Buffy: Hey! Look, I know you're all scared. You know what? I am too, but Giles and Anya will be back soon, and hopefully they will have the information that we need to stop The First. In the mean time, we need to stick together. OK, we're stronger that way. We cannot afford to fall apart now.
Andrew: She's right. Where would the Justice League have been if they hadn't put their differences aside to stop the Imperium and his shape-shifting alien horde?
Buffy: Don't help me.

Rona: Like this'll do any good. I mean, what's the point?
Kennedy: It's this end right here. Just stick that in the bad guys. Any more questions?

Kennedy: Oh, right. Heard this voodoo once turned you into the big scary. Big, scary Willow—that's something I'd almost like to see—
Willow: No, you wouldn't.
Kennedy: I said "almost."
Willow: I needed to make sure. Last time I tried using magic, The First—it turned it around on me. Got inside. I felt it just surging through me, every fiber of my being. Pure, undiluted evil. I could taste it.
Kennedy: How's evil taste?
Willow: A little chalky.

Anya: Yeah, I just—I don't understand how Buffy's death mucked up the whole slayer mojo. You know, it's not like she hasn't died before.
Giles: It's not because she died. The Beljoxa's Eye was quite clear about that in its enigmatic way. It's because she lives. Again. Buffy's not responsible for that.
Anya: Oh. Oh. Willow and me and Xander and Tara. We're the ones who brought Buffy back. We're—we're the reason The First is here, the reason those girls were murdered. No, it's our fault. The world would've been better off if Buffy had just stayed dead.

Andrew: I'm moving. Climbing's not my thing. I got a inner ear condition.
Xander: Is falling your thing? 'Cause if you don't pick up the pace, I'm gonna come up there and drop your ass.
Andrew: Way to keep up morale in a crisis. No wonder Buffy's the leader.

Buffy: Looks good, doesn't it? They're trapped in here. Terrified. Meat for the beast, and there's nothing they can do but wait. That's all they've been doing for days. Waiting to be picked off. Having nightmares about monsters that can't be killed. But I don't believe in that. I always find a way. I'm the thing that monsters have nightmares about. And right now, you and me are gonna show 'em why. It's time. Welcome to Thunderdome.
Andrew: Two men enter. One man leaves.

Buffy: See? Dust. Just like the rest of 'em. I don't know what's coming next, but I do know it's gonna be just like this. Hard. Painful. But in the end it's gonna be us. If we all do our parts, believe it, we'll be the ones left standing. Here endeth the lesson.

The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

Buffy, fight it. You're too good to give in, you can beat this thing. Be strong, baby, ok? I know you're afraid. I know the world feels like a hard place sometimes, but you've got people who love you. Your dad and I, we have all the faith in the world in you. We'll always be with you. You've got... a world of strength in your heart. I know you do. You just have to find it again. Believe in yourself.
-Joyce (Normal Again)

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