Quotable BtVS: Season Four
Quotable BtVS: Season Four
Giles: "Sorry I,
uh, one time I, uh, I was up to a little bit of a prank with the dart board--"
Anya: "I'm bored.
we've talked about this."
Anya: "I'm sorry,
that was rude. Please continue your story. Hopefully it involves treacle
and a headmaster."
Giles: "Go and
Spike: "And you're
what? Shocked and disappointed? I'm evil!"
Xander: "Out! Before
I get the Slayer over here to kick your ass out!"
know why she didn't come. Say good-bye, shed a few tears."
she has an appointment with somebody who's actually still scary!"
Prof. Walsh: "Now
I understand your energies were directed in the same places as ours, in
fact. It's only our methods that differ. We use the latest in scientific
technology and state-of-the-art weaponry and you, if I understand correctly,
poke them with a sharp stick."
it's more effective than it sounds."
When I saw you stop the world from, you know, ending . . . I just assumed
that was a big week for you. Turns out I suddenly find myself . . . needing
to know the plural of 'apocalypse.'"
Ethan: "I wouldn't
say that. I wouldn't say that at all. In fact, Ripper, old mate, I'd say
something rather interesting was about to hap--"
Giles: "Did someone--?"
Ethan: "Oh, bugger!
I thought you'd gone!"
Giles: "You know
what gets me? This is what gets me. Twenty years I've been fighting demons.
Maggie Walsh and her Nancy-ninja boys come in and six months later, demons
are pissing themselves with fear. They never even noticed me."
Giles: "Oh, she's
awful. She said I was an absent male role model. Absent my ass. I'm twice
the man she is."
Giles: "The world
has past us by. Someone snuck in and left us a couple of has-beens in our
place. This Initiative, I mean, their methods may be causing problems,
but they're getting the job done. Where am I? I'm an unemployed librarian
with a tendency to get knocked on the head."
we won't have to worry about that anymore now, mate. When you went to the
loo I slipped a small pellet of poison in your drink. You'll be dead in
an hour. . . Just kidding!"
Buffy: "I like
pancakes 'cause they're stackable. Ooo, and waffles 'cause you can put
things in the little holes if you wanted to."
Willow: "You should
always have a new boyfriend. You're so much fun right now."
Spike: "And . .
. by the way, why the hell are you suddenly a Fyarl demon? You just come
over all demony this morning?"
Giles: "As a matter
of fact, I did. Thanks to Ethan Rayne. You have to help me find him. He
must undo this and then he needs a . . . good being killed."
Spike: "And I'm
just supposed to help you out of the evilness of my heart?"
help me and I-I don't kill you."
Spike: "Oh, tremendously
convincing. Try it again without the stutter."
I could pay you money."
Spike: "Oh, I
like money. How much?"
Giles: "A h-hundred
Spike: "A hundred
dollars? You'll have to do a lot better than that. Two-hundred."
Giles: "If you
can't find third gear, don't try for third gear!"
Spike: "I'm doing
my best. I don't know if I'm driving this thing or wearing it."
Giles: "It's perfectly
Giles: "No. Listen,
about this Fyarl demon. Do-do I have special powers? Like setting things
on fire with my sizzling eye beams?"
you got the mucous thing."
mucous. Shoots out through the nose. Sets on fast. Hard as a rock. Pretty
good in a fight."
Giles: "Are you
making this up?"
But hey, you feel a sneeze coming on, you warn me."
Riley: "The demon
attacked Professor Walsh. Got out of a small, gray car. A Citroen."
Willow: "It stole
Xander: "Why would
a demon steal a car?"
Anya: "Why would
a demon steal that car?"
Ethan: "I really
got to learn to just do the damage and get out of town. It's the 'stay
and gloat' that gets me every time."
I don't want to ask you to betray any confidences, and I certainly don't
want to interfere--"
^ take me up ^
you have 'but-face.' You look like you're gonna say 'but.'"
Giles: "But... this, um, Initiative, I'm-I'm a little concerned. Ethan's not exactly
a reliable source but, um... I'm not sure that he's wrong about them."
I in Team
Willow: "I implore
you, Neisa, blessed goddess of chance and fortune, heed my call.
Send to me the heart I desire."
Xander: "You know,
magic at the poker table qualifies as cheating."
wasn't magic. I was praying. Two please."
Xander: "You are
looking at the new local distributor for Boost Bars. 'The natural food
bar that provides a nutritional energy boost for active, health-conscience
people.' Want one?"
Thanks. Those things usually taste . . kind of tasteless. And
then leave a bad after-tastelessness."
don't let the healthy scare you. Check out these ingredients. See?
Loaded with fatty goodness."
Buffy: "Will, I
think you better get used to-- a Twinkie!? That's his lunch? Oh,
he is so gonna be punished."
getting spanked but me."
Willow: "Uh, nothing."
Wipe your feet when you enter a person's home."
Giles: "Oh, yes.
Careless of me. Tracking mud all over your, uh . . . mud."
Spike: "I admit,
it's a bit of a fixer-upper. Needs a woman's touch. Care to have
a crack at it?"
I'd loved to go on trading jabs with you, Spike, perhaps I'll come to the
point. As much as it pains me to say it, um, I owe you a debt of
gratitude for the help you provided me in my recent . . . metamorphosis."
the gratitude. You owe me more than that, mate."
Count it if you'd... like."
Spike: "I'll do
Walsh: "Your visitor's
pass. And I've assembled some reading material to bring you up to speed."
And I thought I was never gonna get homework from you again."
Walsh: "You can't
take that home. That's classified material. Highly sensitive.
When you're through reading those pages you'll have to eat them."
worry, it doesn't happen very often. Shall we?"
You haven't been paying any attention to me, tonight. Just peddling
those process food breaks. I don't know why."
let me put it in a way you'll understand. Sell bars. Make money.
Take Anya nice places. Buy pretty things."
Anya: "That does
make sense. All right, I support you. Go sell more."
Walsh: "They do
have keen eyesight, however. You might want to be suited up for this."
Buffy: "Oh. You
mean the cammo and stuff? I thought about it but, I mean, it's gonna
look all 'Private Benjamin.' Don't worry I've patrolled in this halter
Forrest: "It just
Graham: "He made
you team leader, didn't he?"
not the point. I've always been Riley's second in command.
Instead he picks a girl."
Graham: "His girl."
Three guesses on what that boy is thinking with."
he just wanted to give you a chance to get out from under his shadow?"
I'm not under anybody's shadow."
Graham: "It was
a joke, man. Don't get your panties in a bunch."
Giles: "I don't
know how many more ways I can say 'I'm not interested.'"
Xander: "W-- try
one! Check these flavors. Cherry-berry. Maple walnut.
Ooo, almond licorice.
we don't say 'ew' in front of potential customers."
Anya: "Just skip
this part and tell him you want money to buy me pretty things. He'll
Giles: "Very well.
Hmm, maple walnut."
Xander: "An excellent
leave my home now."
the, uh, the gritty texture, isn't it? Maybe you're more a cherry-berry
Spike: "Close the
You may want to give up these morning jogs."
boys are out in force. I've been trying to keep them off my scent.
Run them in circles. But they keep coming."
Giles: "And .
. . how is this our concern? Seeing as how you've expressed the desire
to have nothing more to do with us."
Xander: "...That hurts."
Giles: "Some sort
of... illumination emanating from it. It's blinking."
Spike: "I don't
care if it's playing 'Rockin' the Casbah' on the bloody Jew's harp, just
get it out of me!"
there's a bottle of Cognac in the cabinet next to the sink. Can you
get it for me?"
You're gonna get snockered now?"
Giles: "It's not
for me, you prat. If I'm going to operate on you then I need you
Walsh. That simple little recon you sent me on . . . wasn't a raccoon.
Turns out it was me trapped in the sewers with a faulty weapon and two
of your pet demons. If you think that's enough to kill me, you really
don't know what a Slayer is. Trust me when I say you're gonna find out."^ take me up ^
Spike: "Got to
hand it to you goldilocks - you do have bleeding tragic taste in men. I've
got a cousin married to a regurgitating frovilops demon that's got better
instincts than you."
Buffy: "What does
my taste in men have to do with this?"
Spike: "You think
Riley was out knitting booties for your future offspring while Maggie stringing
grab a weapon. We've gotta move."
the Initiative. Yeah let's take on those suckers."
Buffy: "I was
thinking more that we'd hide."
Xander: "Oh thank
what about your basement? The guys haven't seen us together that
much and there's enough room."
Plus mirrored ball."
Come on down and boogie at Xander's hideaway."
Anya: "Yes, come
not! I will not squat in that dank hole."
it was good enough for me, but you're above it all?"
Besides I-I don't see why we can't stay right where we are."
Spike: "No, I'm
just a friend of Xaannderr's. Pfftt. Bugger it. I'm your guy."
Buffy: "This is
Spike. He's um.. It's a really long story b-but he's not bad anymore."
Spike: "Hey! What
am I, a bleeding broken record? I'm bad, it's just I can't bite anymore.
Thanks to you wankers."
Giles: "Must we
have the noise. My head is splitting."
look who's cranky bear in the morning."
Giles: "Yes I
can't imagine why I didn't sleep well in my beach ball."
Anya: "Every time
you moved it made squeaky noises. It was irritating."
I'm surprised you could hear it over your Wagnerian snoring."
Anya: "You really
should get yourself a boring boyfriend. Like Xander. You can't
Buffy: "That was
the idea. Riley was supposed to be Mr. Joe Guy. We were going to
do dumb things like hold hands through the daises going tra-la-la."
Buffy. Your life resists all things average."
Anya: "So dump
him. But you can't have Xander!"
Buffy: "I'll try
and remember that."
Buffy: "You guys
research the Polgara demon. I want to know where it is. When
I find it I'm going to make him pay for taking that kid's life, I'll make
him die in ways he can't even imagine. That probably would have sounded
more commanding if I wasn't wearing my yummy sushi pajamas."
Buffy: "I'm going
to have to punch you aren't I?"
Willy: "Just once
and it don't have to hurt, just make it look good. Ohhh. Oww."
Buffy: "Not yet.
I haven't touched you."
Anya keep researching. Xander, you and I are going undercover."
Remember before. No Xander! Not in a boyfriend way or a lead
him to a certain death way."
Buffy: "He's the
only one with military experience."
Anya: "It's not
like he was in the 'Nam. He was GI Joe for one night."
ok Anya. I've backed up Buffy before."
Anya: "Can't you
do something else to help them? Like... Xerox handouts or something?"
"I'll be careful. Promise."
I'm the only one that can pass the retinal scan."
"The. Ewww. I don't wanna see that."
Xander: "Holy moley."
Buffy: "I know."
Xander: "I totally
get it now. Can I have sex with Riley too?"
pretend to make out with me."
^ take me up ^
what are you talking about?"
I uh, you know. In the movies the guy and the girl have to hide."
could you possibly draw more attention to us? This is the Initiative, Xander.
Military guys and scientists do not make out with each other."
maybe that's wrong with the world. Ever think about that?"
Xander: "So, here
it is. The latest in state-of-the-art combat technology. I gotta say, it
doesn't look that complicated."
Buffy: "So can
you repair it?"
As soon as I get my master's degree in advanced starship technology."
why don't we experiment? Press some buttons, see what happens."
Giles: "I'd like
to veto that."
It's called a blaster, Will, a word that tends to discourage experimentation.
Now, if it were called the Orgazmater, I'd be the first to try your basic
button press approach."
Buffy: "It's not
coming to that. The Initiative created this thing and they can't stop it.
But we will."
Will hiding in a cavern with stockpiled chocolate goods be any part of
Buffy: "Oh God,
I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?"
Riley: "No, a
giant skewer through the rib cage hurt me. That was just a reminder."
Buffy: "It's Faith.
She's awake. She beat someone up, took her clothing and disappeared out
of the hospital. No one knows where she is."
Xander: "I'd say
this qualifies for a "Worst Timing Ever" award."
Xander: "I'd hate
to see the pursuit of a homicidal lunatic get in the way of pursuing a
Faith's not exactly low-profile girl. I'll patrol and wait for her to make
Giles: "But then
I have an idea! Beat the crap out of her!"
Buffy: "We have
no idea where she is. We don't know what she's thinking, what she's feeling..."
Xander: "Who she's
Giles: "Well, perhaps
there's some form of rehabiliatation we just haven't thought about."
Willow: "And if
not, ass-kicking makes a solid plan B."
Buffy: "I guess
it was too much to hope that you'd use your downtime to reflect and grow."
Faith: "I could
say the same about you. I mean, you're still the same better-than-thou
Buffy. I mean, I knew it somehow. I kept having this dream, I'm not sure
what it means, but in the dream the self-righteous blond chick stabs me,
and you wanna know why?"
Buffy: "You had
Xander: "The point
being I could be the target here. Faith finds Mr. Xander Harris still in
town, she goes tighter than cat gut. Got a lotta pent up feelings there.
I'm only saying."
Giles: "Yes, I'm
I can't be held responsible for the effect I have on women."
Spike: "Is this
bird after you?"
Xander: "In a
bad way, yeah."
Spike: "Tell you
what I'll do then. I'll head out, find this girl, tell her exactly where
you are and then watch as she kills you. Can't any one of your damn little
Scooby club at least try to remember that I hate you all? Just because
I can't do the damage myself doesn't stop me from aiming a loose cannon
your way. And here I thought the evening be dull."
Xander: "Go ahead.
You wouldn't even recognize her."
Spike: "Dark hair,
this tall, name of Faith, criminally insane. Like this girl already."
Joyce: "You sure
^ take me up ^
Are You *F-Buffy=Faith
in Buffy's body, B-Faith=Buffy in Faith's body*
Joyce: "I just
don't understand what could drive a person to that kind of behavior."
how do you know she got drove? I mean, maybe she likes being that way."
Joyce: "I'll never
believe that. I think she's horribly unhappy."
could be things are looking up. I mean, a little stint in the pokey, show
her the error of her ways. I'm sure there's some big old Bertha just waiting
to shower her ripe little self with affection."
yes, I would be Buffy. May I help you? Buf-fy. You can't do
that - it's wrong. You can't do that because it's naughty. Because
it's wrong. Because it's wrong. You can't do that. It's wrong. I'll kick
your ass. I'm gonna kill you."
Giles: "It's about
Faith, not surprisingly."
Joyce tell you? I already kicked that ass."
Xander: "I feel
a high five coming on."
F-Buffy: "On her
way to the big house. Cops took her off my hands about an hour ago. Poetic
Anya: "How's that?"
she did all those crimes, and now she's being arrested. I guess that's
just regular justice."
Council. They uh sent a retrieval team to capture Faith."
yeah, I mean, 'cause it worked so well when Wesley tried it."
Giles: "This is
a special operations unit. They, uh, handle the council's trickier
jobs - smuggling, interrogation, wetworks."
Anya: "I thought
it was murder."
yeah, but there could be underwater murder, with snorkels."
Xander: "We kind
of have a romantic evening planned."
Anya: "We were
gonna light a bunch of candles and have sex near them."
we certainly don't want to cut into that seven minutes."
Xander: "I believe
that's my hey. Hey!"
Spike: "What, are
you keeping tabs on me? You're gonna give me a hard time now?"
do I usually give you a hard time?"
Spike: "Very funny.
Well, you don't have to worry about me drinking. Unless you're here to
protect innocent beers."
Spike: "You know
why I really hate you, Summers?"
I'm a stuck-up tight-ass with no sense of fun?"
yeah, that covers a lot of it."
I could do anything I want, and instead, I choose to pout and whine and
feel the burden of slayerness? I mean, I could be rich, I could be famous,
I could have anything. Anyone. Even you, Spike. I could ride
you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up.
I've got muscles you've never even dreamed of. I could squeeze you
until you popped like warm champagne, and you'd beg me to hurt you just
a little bit more. And you know why I don't? Because it's wrong."
Spike: "I get
this chip out, you and me are gonna have a confrontation."
F-Buffy: "So you
guys been hanging out a lot lately, hunh?"
Tara: "Yeah. she's,
um, she's really cool."
F-Buffy: "So Willow's
not driving stick anymore. Who would have thought? I guess you never really
know someone until you've been inside their skin. And Oz is out of the
picture? Oh, never seen two people so much in love. She just couldn't
get enough of old Oz."
Tara: "She, um,
said he, uh, uh, w-w-w-w-w-went..."
F-Buffy: "He w-w-w-w-what?
You gonna get that sentence out sometime tonight?"
move. Ok, Giles, you have to listen to me very carefully. I'm not Faith."
the resemblance is striking."
B-Faith: "I know.
Giles, you just have to... Stop inching! You were inching."
I-I know what you're going to say, and-and uh-"
Giles: "All right,
I didn't know what you were going to say, but that doesn't make you any
Giles: "Who's president?"
checking for Buffy, not a concussion."
Giles: "Oh, yes,
you turned into a demon, and I knew it was you. I mean can't you just look
in my eyes and be all intuitive?"
Giles: "How did
I turn into a demon?"
cause, uh, Ethan Rayne. And-and you have a girlfriend named Olivia,
and you haven't had a job since we blew up the school, which is valid lifestyle
wise. I mean, it's not like you're a slacker type, but... Oh, oh! when
I had psychic power, I heard my mom think that you were like a stevedore
during sex. What? Do you want me to continue?"
I beg you to stop."
Riley: "I don't
understand. how could she have... I mean, how's it possible?"
^ take me up ^
was something. I should've picked up on it. I should've just..."
Buffy: "You slept
Riley: "I slept
with you. Man, would I like to get my hands on her. Not in a sex way."
Buffy: "I don't
think she's coming back."
she's had her fun."
Willow: "I don't
care if it is an orgy of death, there's still such a thing as a napkin."
Buffy: "A nest.
No biggie. I bet I could do it. I know could take at least
Anya: "Yes and
we could run for help while the other three suck your heart out through
Sssh! Quick draws about more than speed. It's also about pointing
a stake the right way. Sshh! Sssh! And there can be splinter issues.
It is a true test of dexterity."
Anya: "Can you
Xander: "No, I
tear it and it gets all sloshy."
Xander: "I think
did great. We knocked em dead. Which they already were."
Willow: "We knocked
Anya: "They weren't
very well organized. If they had all rushed at Buffy they could have
killed her right away."
Anya. That won't keep me awake all night."
Spike: "I live
here. I wasn't exactly pining for a noisy visit from 'wonder Jonathan and
his fluffy battle kittens'."
You think that one up with all the time you spend not being able to bite
he's still pretty dangerous."
back off 'Betty.'"
Buffy: "It's Buffy,
you big bleached... stupid guy."
Xander: "Last night
with me you said Jonathan."
Anya: "It was
You moaned Jonathan!"
Anya: "Not unh!
It was like unnh-unnh-atha."
it was ahh-onathan. Still not fluffing up the old ego."
the couple, aren't they?"
Buffy: "They get
into a fistfight, I've got a fifty on Anya."
Adam: "These are
lies. None of this is real. The world has been changed.
It's intriguing but it's wrong."
ok to me."
under his spell just like the others. I seem to be the only one who
And what makes you so special?"
Adam: "I'm aware.
I know every molecule of myself and everything around me. No
one - no human, no demon - has ever been as awake and alive as I am. You
are all just shadows."
So what do - what do you do now? Hey you could kill Jonathan!
Well, or you could try. The guy's like a dynamo of action."
Adam: "I don't
need to do anything. These magicks are unstable, corrosive.
They will inevitably lead to chaos. And I am interested in chaos."
not going away. Why aren't you going away?"
Buffy: "Anya he
fights better than I do. And I'm the slayer. The Slayer! That's
supposed to mean something right?"
Anya: "Oh! buck
up you. You kill the best. Go you. Kill, kill."
not needing validation right now, but thank you."
Buffy: "I'm just
saying it doesn't make any sense. H-he starred in the Matrix but
he never left town. And how'd he graduate from med school?
He's only eighteen years old."
Buffy: "Anya tell
them about the alternate universes."
Anya: "Oh ok.
Umm. Say you really like shrimp a lot. Or we could say you don't
like shrimp at all. Blah I wish there weren't any shrimp you would say
Buffy: "Stop you're
saying it wrong! I think that Jonathan may be doing something so
that he's manipulating the world and we're all like his pawns."
Anya: "Or prawns."
Buffy: "Stop with
the shrimp! I am trying to do something here!"
do you have a Jonathan swimsuit calendar?"
Yes. It was a gift."
Riley: "These spells...
these really work? I mean, can you really 'turn your enemies inside
out'? Or... learn to 'excrete gold coins'?"
Anya: "That one's
not so much fun."
work Riley but they take concentration. Being attuned with the forces
of the universe."
you can't just go 'librum incendere' and expect..."
don't speak Latin in front of the books."
Xander: "You know
what I'll always remember?"
^ take me up ^
Riley: "The swimsuit
calendar's sticking in my mind. Not in a good way."
always remember the way he made me feel about me. Valued, respected, sort
of tingly... Now I'm just empty."
Buffy: "Poor Xander.
I guess Jonathan hurt you most of all."
of course, after Tara."
Riley: "Did anyone
else feel way too tall? I felt way too tall."
the Wild Things Are
Buffy: "Okay, you
get Fang, I'll get Horny. I mean..."
Xander: "Aw, come
on. Big party at Riley's house. It's gonna be fun. Why don't you wanna
Anya: "You know
why not. Those initiative men make me... not comfortable. And you don't
don't even know that you're an ex-demon. And we don't know that they'd
care even if they did know. Which, by the way, they're not gonna find out.
Anyways, they'll probably be too busy flirting with every other girl at
the party to even notice you."
Anya: "So ...
you don't think I'm desirable enough to be flirted with? Is that it?"
Xander: "I'm just
not gonna win here, am I?"
Anya: "Why didn't
you take advantage of me? Is something
wrong with your body?"
nothing wrong with my body."
Anya: "Well, there
must be. I saw that wrinkled man on TV talking about
Hey. All systems go here. No function problem, okay? You want sex? Let's
have sex. Right here. Hot, sweaty, big sex."
they're probably going to-"
Giles: "Yes, thank
you Willow, I did attend university in the Mesozoic era, I do remember
what it's like."
Spike: "Grr! Oh,
What are you doing? You made me yell really high."
Spike: "Hey! Yeah,
I did. I scared you. Gimme money."
Anya: "I'm not
paying you for scaring me."
not paying me. I'm robbing you."
Anya: "Oh, well
now that's just ludicrous. You can't hurt me because you've got that chip
in your brain. Also, I like my money the way it is... when it's mine."
Anya: A year and
a half ago, I could have eviscerated him with my thoughts. Now I can barely
hurt his feelings. Things used to be so much simpler."
Spike: "You know
... you take the killing for granted. And then it's gone, and you're like,
'I wish I'd appreciated it more.' Stopped and smelled the corpses, you
Spike: "Hey ...
I know these guys from somewhere."
soldiers, they live here. Experiments happen in the lab under the house.
It's where they kept you, put in your chip. Let's have fun!"
Spike: "What are
you doing? You brought me here?"
What are you doing? You brought him here?"
what I said! Only I hit the "here" part."
this is crazy. We had a little fight. It just means that we have to work
our way through some stuff. It doesn't mean that we rebound with the evil
undead. And what have we been doing with him anyway?"
Spike: "Oh, who's
the puffed-up manly man? All splotchy and possessive."
Anya: "It's not
very convincing, is it?"
I see now what you said about him earlier. No follow-through."
What a surprise! Hostile 17! Can I get you a drink, Hostile 17?"
Well, may be some fun to be had in the lion's den after all. You two keep
scraping. I'll find the liquor."
Willow: "We have
to go back in there."
Buffy and Riley are trapped."
Anya: "So? She's
the Slayer, he's a big soldier boy, what do they need you for?"
look around! There's ghosts and shaking, and people are going all Felicity
with their hair... We're fresh out of superpeople, and somebody's gotta
go back in there. Now who's with me?"
Spike: "I am.
I know I'm not the first choice for heroics ... and Buffy's tried to kill
me more than once. And, I don't fancy a single one of you at all. But...
Actually, all that sounds pretty convincing. I wonder if Danger Mouse is
"To be fated..."
Xander: "Um, could
we go back to the haunted house? Cause, this is
creeping me out."
Tara: "Does he
do this a lot?"
Every day the earth rotates backward and the skies turn
"But my dreams, they are as empty, as my conscience seems to be. I have
hours, only lonely..."
Willow: "Now I
remember why I used to have such a crush on him."
"...my love is vengeance..."
Tara: "Well, he
"...that's never free...
Anya: "His voice... is pleasant."
"No one knows what it's like to feel these feelings..."
Willow: "Oh, come
on, he is kinda sexy."
"Like I do..."
Xander: "I'm fighting
total mental breakdown here, Will. No more fueling the fire please."
Giles: "When you
called to Buffy and Riley, they didn't cry out or, or respond in any way?"
Anya: "No. They're
they're too busy doin' it to answer."
Xander: "You know,
for a god of acoustic rock, you're... kind of naive."
Giles: "I didn't
think you meant... In the midst of all that, do you really think they
were keeping it up? Oh, for a different phrasing."
that totally adds to my 'old people are crazy' theorem."
Anya: "Shut up,
Riley: "I can't
believe it really happened."
Buffy: "I just
had no idea. It's so creepy! He was really singing?"
Xander: "I'd say
it was more like crooning. If we grow old together, remind me to skip the
Willow: "Come on,
you have to admit, it was kinda sexy."
stop saying that. I'm willing to offer cash incentives."
Buffy: "He's right,
Will. If Riley and I hadn't... gotten so wrapped up in each other, none
of this would've happened."
^ take me up ^
Anya: "True. Feel
Xander: "My girlfriend.
Mistress of the learning plateau."
Tara: "Do you like
Willow: "I'm more
of a dog person myself. But I'm not like,'death to all cats.' Why?"
Tara: "Cause I
was thinking of getting one."
Willow: "Can you
have one in the dorms?"
Tara: "No, but
this would be a sneaky cat."
would be cool. You mean it'd be sort of like a familiar?"
I-I was thinking it would be sort of like a pet. You know, we could...
we could name her Trixie, or Miss Kitty Fantastico, or something."
Willow: "And we
could make kitty go bonkers with string and catnip and stuff?"
Tara: "So, you're
not allergic or anything."
Tara: "Good, cause
... I want my room to be Willow-friendly."
doesn't make her quota. Bad slayer!"
Riley: "We got
demons coming out our ears."
Tara: "I got it,
Willow: "I'm overhelping,
Anya: "Well, that
was a thrilling hour."
Giles: "You know,
I really don't appreciate your snide remarks, Anya."
Xander: "Oz, man.
Hate to sound grandma, but... you don't call, you don't write."
Oz: "Yeah, sorry."
Riley: "Man, that
was record time."
Buffy: "It's no
fun when they're that easy."
kidding me. Gotta say I'm surprised. I didn't think Willow was that kind
Buffy: "What kind
Riley: "Into dangerous
guys. She seems smarter than that."
Buffy: "Oz is
not dangerous. Something happened to him that wasn't his fault. God, I
never knew you were such a bigot."
hey, how did we get to bigot? I'm just saying it's a little weird to date
someone who tries to eat you once a month."
well love isn't logical, Riley. It's not like you can be Mister Joe Sensible
about it all the time. God knows I haven't been."
Oz: "I talked to
Xander, and he said you didn't have a new guy."
Willow: "No. No
Oz: "I know what
I put you through, and I'm not gonna push. But I am... a different person
than when I left. And I can be what you need now. That's what I want. That's
why I'm here."
Oz: "This warlock
in Romania sent me to the monks there to learn some meditation techniques.
Very intense. All about keeping your inner cool."
'cause you were such a spaz before. So that's it? You keep your cool, and
no more wolfie?"
Oz: "No, there's
more. I take some herbs and stuff. Some chanting. A couple of charms."
I believe a manly sized breakfast is in order, don't you?"
Oz: "Or we could
just... sleep a little while. Whatever you want."
have the less confusing waffles right now."
Buffy: "Wait. Last
night was a wolf moon, right?"
you're about to tell me something incredibly kinky, or-"
Willow: "No kink.
He didn't change, Buffy. He said he was gonna find a cure, and he did.
Buffy: "Oh my
god. I can't believe it. Okay, I'm all with the woo-hoo here, and you're
Willow: "No, there's
'woo' and, and 'hoo.' But there's 'uh-oh,' and... 'why now?' And... it's
Buffy: "Why complicated?"
complicated... because of Tara."
Buffy: "You mean
Tara has a crush on Oz? No. Oh! Oh. Um... well... that's great. You know,
I mean, I think Tara's a, a really great girl, Will."
Willow: "She is.
And... there's something between us. It-it wasn't something I was looking
for. It's just powerful. And it's totally different from what Oz and I
there you go, I mean, you know, you have to - you have to follow your heart,
Will. And that's what's important, Will."
Willow: "Why do
you keep saying my name like that?"
Buffy: "Like what,
Willow: "Are you
No, Will, d- No. No, absolutely no to that question. I'm glad you told
me. What did you say to Oz?"
Willow: "I was
gonna tell him ... but then we started hanging out, and ... I could just
feel everything coming back. He's Oz, you know?"
Willow: "I don't
wanna hurt anyone, Buffy."
Buffy: "No matter
what, somebody's gonna get hurt. And the important thing is, you
just have to be honest, or it's gonna be a lot worse."
Willow: "I don't
know. I just - life was starting to get so good again, and -- You're a
big part of that. And here comes the thing I wanted most of all, and...
I don't know what to do, I ... I wanna know, but I don't."
Tara: "Do what
makes you ... h-h-happy."
the thing about the Slayer is... she is a whiny little thing, but when
it comes to the fighting, she does have a slight tendency to win."
Adam: "Then I
guess you should be on her side."
Spike: "This all
goes down, the chip comes out, yeah? No tricks."
were a Boy Scout?"
Adam: "Parts of
Anya: "So that's
good, right? I mean, they probably haven't had time to eviscerate him yet."
Xander: "An, you
can help by making this a quiet time."
Giles: "How did
you get in?"
Spike: "Door was
unlocked. You might wanna watch that, Rupert. Someone dangerous could get
Buffy: "Or someone
formerly dangerous and currently annoying."
Spike: "Now, now.
None of that. Or I won't help you get Red's mongrel back. Bad news travels
fast with us demons. We all like a good laugh."
of cash, Spike?"
Spike: "I happen
to be seeking monetary gratification, yeah. But I also get a kick out of
jackin' up those army ginks myself."
Buffy: "I've mentioned
how much I'm gonna kill you if this is a scam, right?"
would I wear this if I wasn't on the up-and-up?"
Willow: "You do
sorta look like an evil olive."
Anya: "Slap my
Giles: "Beg your
Anya: "In celebration."
Buffy: "Stay back...
or I'll pull a William Burroughs on your leader here."
bore him to death with free prose?"
Buffy: "Was I
the only one awake in English that day? I'll kill him."
a dead man, Finn."
Riley: "No, sir.
I'm an anarchist."
Buffy: "I have
to tell you some stuff... about my past. And it's not all stuff that you're
Riley: "You can
tell me anything."
Buffy: "I think
so. I think I can."
Oz: "I shouldn't
have come back now.... I just thought I'd changed."
Willow: "You have
changed. You stopped the wolf from coming out. I saw it."
Oz: "But I couldn't
look at you. I mean, it turns out... the one thing that brings it out in
me is you... which falls under the heading of ironic in my book."
Willow: "It was
my fault. I upset you."
Oz: "Well, so
we're safe then, cause you'll never do that again. But... you're happy?"
Willow: "I am. I can't
Oz: "It may be
safer for both of us if you don't."
Oz: "It was stupid
to think that you'd just be... waiting."
^ take me up ^
Willow: "I was
waiting. I feel like some part of me will always be waiting for you. Like
if I'm old and blue-haired, and I turn the corner in Istanbul and there
you are, I won't be surprised. Because... you're with me, you know?"
Oz: "I know. But
now is not that time, I guess."
See? You're not getting it, Mr. Bits. You're gonna be interestingly
dead. Little Miss Tiny's got a habit of bollixing up the plans of every
would-be, unstoppable bad-ass who sets foot in this town. Just want you
to know, when the big ugly goes down, the Slayer's gonna be right in the
thick of it. You ready for that?"
Adam: "I'm counting
Adam: "Two Slayers."
Adam: "And you
killed them both?"
I killed the hell out of them."
Adam: "Yet you
fear this one?"
Spike: "Hey, watch
it, mate. I don't fear anything. Just know my enemies."
Adam: "Do you?
Then why haven't you killed this Slayer yet?"
Stinking, rotten luck is why. On top of that, now I got this buggering
chip up my head."
Spike: "Wow. I
mean, yeah. I get why the demons all fall in line with you.
You're like Tony Robbins. If he was a big scary . . Frankenstein looking--
You're exactly like Tony Robbins."
Riley: "I take
it you're not an Angel fan either?"
it's not like I hate the guy. Just, you know . . the guts part of
Riley: "She went
running to L.A. to bone up on her history."
I'm sure it's boneless. She just needs to make sure everything's
okay. She's probably back already."
Spike: "You know,
for someone who's got 'Watcher' on his resume, you might want to cast an
eye to the front door every now and again."
Tara: Oh, I just figured
you'd be dorming it up with Buffy again.
we haven't really talked about it. I used to assume we'd be roomies
through grad school well into little old lady hood. You know, cheating
at bingo together and forgetting to take our pills."
Willow: "But .
. . I don't know. It hardly feels like we're roomies now. I
mean, she's busy with Riley and I'm gone a lot too. I guess I should ask
Spike: "Akk! Oh,
come on! You got to be kidding?"
Anya: "Wow. That
chip in your head means you can't even point a gun. How humiliating."
work anyway. It's a fake."
Anya: "Can't even
point a decorative gun?"
it up for a American chipmanship."
Spike: "It doesn't
work? What about self-defense? I'm taking a risk here, you
Xander: "Can I
tell you how much I really... don't care?"
Spike: "Oh, your
girlie-mates were talking. Something about, uh, being all you can
be. Or all you can be. And having laugh. Figured
you were signing up. Say, have you got anything larger in the . .
toy gun line?"
I can--' Can you believe this!? Like I'm some sort of useless lunk.
It happens I'm good at a lot of things. I help out with all kinds
of... stuff. I have skills... and... stratagems. I'm very... Help
Anya: "He's Viking
in the sack."
Xander: "This is
so like them, lately. It's all about them and the college life.
Well, you know what college is? It's high school only without the
actual going to class. Well, high school was kinda like that too.
But the point is, I'm out there working hard to make a living. It's
nothing but a huge joke to them. Xander got fired from Starbucks.
Xander got fired from that phone-sex line."
Anya: "They look
down on you."
Xander: "And they
Anya: "But they
don't look down on me."
Buffy: "Okay, that's
enough! I see one more display of testosterone poisoning and I will
personally put you both in the hospital! Anybody think I'm exaggerating?"
Angel: "He started--"
I come to see you, to help you, and you treat me like I'm just . . . your
Buffy: "Shut up!
And then you order me out of your city and then you come here and
start pounding on my boyfriend?! I would really like to know what the HELL
are you trying to do?!"
Angel: "I was
trying to make things better. Heh. Well. It's a . . . going pretty good,
Angel: "You know--
heh. I couldn't leave it like that. The way I spoke to you-- I came
to apologize. I . . I had no right."
Buffy: "And Riley?"
Angel: "I got
jumped by some soldiers. He came in in the middle. And wasn't
real forthcoming with the benefit of the doubt."
Buffy: "Put yourself
in his place."
Angel: "I get
Buffy: "Look .
. . You weren't entirely wrong, what you said in L.A. We don't live in
each other's worlds anymore. I had no right to barge in on yours and make
Angel: "I'm still
Angel: "And, next
time . . I'll apologize by phone. Uh, things are pretty tense around here."
Buffy: "They really
Angel: "Can I
. . . I think the best thing you can do right now is--"
Buffy: "It means
a lot that you came."
Angel: "Oh, and
. . . Riley."
Angel: "I don't
Spike: "Feel it
in my bones. It's, uh . . called the Yoko Factor. Don't tell me you've
never heard of the Beatles?
Adam: "I have.
I like 'Helter Skelter'."
Spike: "What a
surprise. The point is, they were once a real powerful group.
It's not a stretch to say they ruled the world. And when they broke
up everyone blamed Yoko, but the fact is the group split itself apart,
she just happened to be there. And you know how it is with kids.
They go off to college, they grow apart. Way of the world."
I feel like we've gotten really close. At least I thought we had.
I don't know much about Angel or your relationship with him, but... all
I ask is, if you're gonna break heart, do it fast."
You think that Angel and I..."
Of course not. How can you even ask me that?"
Riley: "I don't
know. Xander said--"
Oh, he's the deadest man in Deadonia."
It's not his fault. I prodded and he explained how Angel went bad.
The, uh, trigger."
Riley: "And, uh
after that, I went a little nuts! You know? I mean... On the one
hand, I should believe in us. But on the other... Sometimes things
happen between exes and when I saw that he was bad..."
That's a good day? Well, there you go. Even when he's good he's all
Mister... Billowy Coat King of Pain and girls really--"
Giles: "What ever
happened to Latin? At least when that made no sense, the church approved."
Buffy: "I can't
just wait around, Will. The disk is no good to me unless you crack
We worked really hard getting that. Xander delivered clothing."
Giles: "You never
train with me anymore. He's gonna kick your ass."
Was it a bit honest? Terribly sorry."
Xander: "So she
doesn't go alone. Giles, weapons all around."
not going, Xander. Y-you'd get hurt."
Okay. You and Willow go do the superpower thing, I'll stay behind
and putt around the Batcave with crusty old Alfred here."
no. I am no Alfred, sir. No, you forget. Alfred had a
Buffy: "You guys,
this isn't helping."
Willow: "Oh, wow!
We're already getting in the way. We're pretty good at this, Xander,
I'm so good at it you might have to ship me off to the Army to get me out
of the way!"
Buffy: "The Army?"
Xander: "You didn't
think I knew about that, did you? You two talking about me behind
Buffy: "Us talking
about you? How about you telling Riley every last detail of
my life with Angel?"
Willow: "And besides,
when is there any "us two?" You two are the two who are the two.
I'm the other one."
But maybe that all changes when I'm doing sit-ups over at Fort Dix?"
Giles: "Fort Dix?"
Buffy: "Are you
Quite a bit, actually."
stop it! This is stupid."
So you finally have the guts to say it to my face?"
Buffy: "I didn't
say you were stupid! So . . stop being an idiot and let me fix this!"
I need you. I need both of you. All the time! Just... not now.
Adam is very dangerous."
How do you need me, really?"
good with the computer stuff. Usually. And-and there's the witch stuff."
stuff? What exactly do you mean by 'witch stuff'?"
Buffy: "You guys,
what is happening? This is crazy!"
Giles: "Oh, no,
it's not. It's all finally making perfect sense and I'm not going to miss
a moment of it."
I'm not the one being judgmental here. I'll leave that territory
to you and Buffy."
If I was anymore open-minded about the choices you two make my whole brain
would fall out!"
And superior. Don't forget that. Just because you're better than
us doesn't mean that you can be all superior!"
Buffy: "You guys,
stop this! What happened to you today?"
not today! Buffy, things have been wrong for a while! Don't you see
Buffy: "What do
you mean wrong?"
they certainly haven't been right, since Tara. We have to face it.
You can't handle Tara being my girlfriend."
It was bad before that! Since you two went off to college and forgot
about me! Just
left me in the basement
to-- Tara's yourgirlfriend?"
No, you said you wanted to go. So let's go! All of us.
We'll walk into that cave with you two
^ take me up ^
attacking me and the
funny drunk drooling on my shoe! Hey! Hey, maybe that's the
secret way of killing Adam?!"
Buffy: "Is that
it? Is that how you can help? You're not answering me! How
can you possibly help? So, I guess I'm starting to understand why there's
no ancient prophecy about a Chosen One and her friends. If I need help,
I'll go to someone I can count on."
Adam: "Demons cling
to old ways and ancient feuds. And they're hopeless with technology.
Riley: "Not really
wanting a lecture right now."
by demon-kind, we turned to humans. Smart, adaptive. But emotional
and weak. Blind. But there's imperfection everywhere.
Something must be done. Who will deliver us? Mother. She saw
our future, yours and mine. She saw that you were necessary.
She saw the role that you will play by my side."
Spike: "Warms the
cockles of my non-beating heart seeing you lads together."
Adam: "I didn't
send for you, Spike."
well. I'm not much the 'being sent for' type. I'm much more the,
uh, 'I did my part now get this chip out of my head' kinda guy."
The Initiative. But getting her there, that's what the bleedin' disks
are for, idn't it? Well, the little witch gives her the info and
pop, Alice heads back down the rabbit hole."
Adam: "The witch?"
Spike: "Uh, Willow.
About so high. Perky. Good with math. Natural choice."
Adam: "Her friend?"
Adam: "One of
the friends from whom you so efficiently separated her."
Spike: "Damn right
I did. You should've seen 'em. They won't be talking to each other
for a long, long-- Hang on. I think I might have detected a small flaw."
Adam: "So you
Spike: "W-- Hey,
you're supposed to be so smart, you let me plan this thing. Okay, let's
not quibble about who failed who. The important thing is making sure the
Slayer is where we want--"
So, uh, we'll do this chip thing when I get back."
Anya: "You said
you wanted to check the board at the unemployment office, this morning.
You can't go like that. They won't even interview you if you're naked."
Xander: "I'm not
going. There's never anything good. Maybe I should join the Army?"
Anya: "Don't they
make you get up really early in the morning?"
Xander: "Oh, yeah.
Anya: "Are you
still upset about that fight you had with your friends? It was hours ago.
Get over it."
you-- Forget it."
Anya: "So they
all thing you're a lost directionless loser with no plans for his future.
you can't 'pfft' that stuff away."
Anya: "Why not?"
Xander: "I don't
know. 'Cause I think maybe they're right."
Anya: "So what
if they are? You're a good person and a good boyfriend and... And
I'm in love with you. Whatever they think of you. It shouldn't matter."
Yeah, it doesn't matter."
Willow: "Must be
programmed to self-decrypt at a certain point. That is so annoying.
It-it's like somebody blurting out the answer to a riddle just when you've--
I mean, yippee! We have the information."
Anya decided not to join us despite all the fun we had at our last meeting."
Willow: "And I
don't think Tara felt welcomed."
Because of the things we said? Will, who told you that we were talking
behind your back, specifically?"
I-- Spike, specifically. But--"
Buffy: "And who
told you that we thought you'd be better off joining the Army?"
not... exactly what he said."
Giles: "Um, uh,
Spike can be very convincing when-when-when, uh... I'm very stupid."
Willow: "So . .
why do you think Spike made with the head games?"
all dressed up with no one to bite. He's gotta get his ya-yas somehow."
Buffy: "I think
it was more than that. I think it was Adam."
working for Adam!? After all we've done-- Nah. I can't even act surprised."
Buffy: "Well, give
the demon his due. He thought this one out."
do you mean?"
Buffy: "You know
how overcrowded the containment cells have been at the Initiative?
Those demons were just too easy to catch. It's like they wanted in
Giles: "The Trojan
gonna make sure the demons attack the Initiative from the inside."
versus soldiers. Massacre, massacre."
Willow: "And Adam
has a neat pile of body parts to start assembling his army. Diabolical
anybody else miss the Mayor- I-just-want-to-be-a-big-snake?"
certainly no lack of supplies. I only wish I knew which ones would
to Riley, his power source is a uranium core embedded somewhere inside
his chest, probably near the spine."
So we just ask him to lie down quietly while we do some exploratory surgery."
about magic? Some kind of... I don't know... uranium-extracting spell?
I know. I'm reaching."
a paralyzing spell? Only I can't perform the incantation to this."
don't you have to speak it in Sumerian or something?"
Giles: "I do speak
Sumerian. But it's not that. Only an experienced witch can incant it and
you have to be within striking distance of the subject."
Xander: "See what
you get for taking French instead of Sumerian?"
Buffy: "What was
Xander: "So, no
problem! All we need is combo Buffy. Her with Slayer strength,
Giles' multi-lingual know-how, and Willow's witchy power. Yeah, don't tell
me. I'm just full of helpful suggestions."
Giles: "As a matter
of fact, you are."
Xander: "No way.
I'm full of that good old Kamikaze spirit."
just because this is never going to work there's no need to be negative."
Willow: "The enjoining
spell isn't powerful enough to defeat Adam?"
Giles: "It's very
powerful. It's also extraordinarily dangerous."
Buffy: "I just...
I'm sorry. I hate that things have been so strained between all of
not your fault. Spike stirred up trouble."
but I think trouble was stir-uppable. I think we all sort of drifted
apart this year, don't you?"
a little. But you know, first year of college it's hard to keep the
old high school gang together."
Buffy: "But I
want it together. Will, I miss you. And-and Giles and Xander.
And it is my fault. I've been so wrapped up in my own stuff, I've
been a bad friend."
the Slayer, Buffy. Your stuff is pretty crucial."
Buffy: "I mean
Riley and... Riley, mostly."
I haven't been Miss Available, either. I-I kept secrets. I
hid things from everyone."
not your fault. Will, you were going through something huge."
Willow: "I wanted
to tell you, but I was so scared."
Buffy: "You can
tell me anything. I love you. You're my best friend."
Willow: "Me, too.
I love you, too."
Willow: "Oh, wonderful
Buffy: "You know
we love you, right?"
Willow: "We totally
Xander: "Oh, God,
we're gonna die, aren't we?"
We just missed you."
hurry up! You definitely want to get down here for this!"
think you and your friends can just keep waltzing into a government installation,
brandishing weapons like... Like..."
Giles: "It's a
kind of freaks are you people?"
inch of this installation is under constant twenty-four hour surveillance!"
the secret lab?"
everything! ... What secret lab?"
Buffy: "Is this
place okay to be magic central?"
Giles: "It, uh,
Willow: "As long
as we don't get blowed up or nothin'."
the odds of that?"
I still don't like you going in alone."
Buffy: "I won't
Buffy: "What is this?
Why won't you talk to me?"
Adam: "He can't. He's
not programmed to. He's part of the final phase now. As you
were supposed to be."
I don't jump through hoops on command. I've never really been one
to tow the line."
Adam: "Oh. Kill her".
Forrest: "I thought you'd
Willow: "The power
of the Slayer and all who wield it. Last to Ancient First.
We invoke thee. Grant us thy domain of primal strength. Accept us
and the powers we possess. Link us mind and heart with spirit joined.
Let the hand encompass us. Do thy will."
Willow: "And Manus...
Willow: "We enjoin
that we may inhabit the vessel. The hand, daughter of Sineya, first
of the Ones."
Willow: "We implore
thee. Admit us. Bring us to the vessel. Take us- now!"
Adam: "You can't
last much longer."
"We can. We are forever."
ADAM: "But how
could never hope to grasp the source of our power... But yours is right
Spike: "Nasty sort
of fellow. Lucky for you blighters I was here, 'ey?"
Uh, thank you. Although your heroism is slightly muted by the fact
that you were helping Adam to start a war that would kill us all."
Xander: "He probably
just saved us so we wouldn't stake you right here."
yeah. Did it work? Well, then everything's all right. We all get
to be not
Good work, team."
Xander: "You were
Riley: "We still
got men out there."
let's go save 'em, by gum!"
Mr. Ward: "It was
an experiment. The Initiative represented the government's interest
in not only controlling the otherworldly menace but in harnessing its power
for our own military purposes. The considered opinion of this counsel
is that the experiment has failed. Once the prototype took control of the
complex, our soldiers suffered a forty percent casualty rate. And it seems
that it was only through the actions of a deserter and a group of civilian
insurrectionists that our losses were not total. I trust the irony of that
is not lost on any of us? Maggie Walsh's vision was brilliant but, ultimately,
insupportable. The demons cannot be harnessed. Cannot be controlled.
It is therefore our recommendation that this project be terminated and
all records concerning it expunged. Our soldiers will be debriefed.
Standard confidentiality clause. We will monitor the civilians.
And the usual measures prepared should they try to go public. I don't think
they will. The Initiative itself will be filled in with concrete. Burn
it down, gentlemen. Burn it down... and salt the earth."^ take me up ^
not gonna make me disappear, and they're not pinning anything on me. I
got Graham and a lot of the guys testifying I'm the reason they're alive.
I might actually get out of this with an honorable discharge."
Giles: "In return
for your silence, no doubt."
Riley: "Oh yeah.
Having the inside scoop on the administration's own Bay of Mutated Pigs
is definitely an advantage."
like you're blackmailing the government. In a... patriotic way."
is served. And my very own recipe."
you pushed the button on the microwave that says 'popcorn'?"
I pushed 'defrost,' but, um, Joyce was there in the clinch."
we got plenty of vids. And I'm putting in a preemptive bid for 'Apocalypse
Willow: "Did you
get anything less heart-of-darkness-y?"
Now' is a gay romp! It's the feel-good movie of whatever year it was."
Buffy: "What else?"
worry. Got plenty of chick-and-British-guy flicks too. These puppies should
last us all night."
Xander: "So whatcha
been doin'? Doing spells? She does spells with Tara."
Oz: "Yeah, I heard
Willow: "I'm gonna
I think about two women doing a spell... and then I do a spell by myself."
The place is packed. Everybody's here! Your whole family's in the front
row, and they look really angry."
somebody's got stage fright."
this the first class?"
you showed up late, or you'd have a better part. I'm Cowboy Guy."
is not about behaving, it's about hiding. The audience wants to find you,
strip you naked, and eat you alive, so hide. Stop that. Now, costumes,
sets, um, the things that you, uh, you know, uh, you, um... you hold them,
you touch them, uh, use them, um..."
Giles: "Yes! It's
all about subterfuge. That's very annoying. Now go on out there, lie like
dogs, and have a wonderful time. Now, if we can stay in focus, keep our
heads, and if Willow can stop stepping on everyone's cues, I know this'll
be the best production of 'Death of a Salesman' we've ever done."
Tara: "Things aren't
going very well."
Willow: "No! This
drama class is just... I think they're really not doing things in the proper
way, and now I'm in a play and my whole family's out there, and... why
is there a cowboy in 'Death of a Salesman' anyway?"
Tara: "You don't
understand yet, do you?"
Willow: "Is there
something following me?"
what, uh, what should I do? The, the play's gonna start soon, and I don't
even know my lines."
Tara: "The play's
already started. That's not the point."
starting to wonder about you. The real you. If they find out, they'll punish
you, I... I can't help you with that."
Buffy: "Play is
long over. Why are you still in costume?"
still having to explain wherein this is just my outfit."
everybody already knows. Take it off."
Willow: "No. No.
I need it."
Buffy: "Oh, for
god's sake, just take it off. That's better. It's much more realistic."
Anya: "My god,
it's like a tragedy."
Oz: "I tried to
Anya: "It's exactly
like a Greek tragedy. There should only be Greeks."
Willow: "My book
report. This summer I, I read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe."
Xander: "Oh, who
Xander: "I'm awake.
I'm good. Did I miss anything?"
Giles: "Not very
much at all really."
TV Soldier: "We
gotta keep going, men. We gotta take that hill. Damn this war!"
Giles: "I have
to say, I really feel that 'Apocalypse Now' is overrated."
Xander: "No, no.
It gets better."
Giles: "Oh, I'm
beginning to understand this now. It's all about the journey, isn't it?"
thanks for making me have to pee."
Buffy: "You don't
need any help with that, right?"
Xander: "Got a
Xander: "I move
pretty fast. You know, a man's always after-"
Xander: "I'm a
Joyce: "You sure
it isn't comfort?"
Xander: "I'm a
Joyce: "I do know
the difference. I've learned about boys."
cool about you."
Joyce: "It's very
late. Would you like to rest for a while?"
Xander: "Um, yeah.
I'd like you. I'm just... gonna go to the bathroom first."
Xander: "Hey, there
Buffy: "Are you
sure it's us you were looking for?"
here is gonna teach me to be a Watcher. Says I got the stuff."
like a son to me."
good. I was into that for a while, but... I got other stuff goin' on. You
gotta have something. Gotta be with movin' forward."
Buffy: "Like a
a shark with feet and... much less fins."
Spike: "And on
Giles: "Very good!"
are you sure you wanna play there? It's a pretty big sandbox."
Buffy: "I'm okay.
It's not coming for me yet."
Xander: "I just
mean... you can't protect yourself from... some stuff."
Buffy: "I'm way
ahead of you, big brother."
Giles: "Go on,
put your back into it! A Watcher scoffs at gravity."
Anya: "I've been
thinking about getting back into vengeance."
Xander: "Is that
Anya: "Well, you
know how I miss it. I'm so at loose ends since I quit. I think this is
going to be a very big year for vengeance."
isn't vengeance kind of... vengeful?"
Anya: "You don't
want me to have a hobby."
Xander: "Not a
vengeance hobby, no! It's dangerous. People can't do anything they want.
Society has rules, and borders, and an end zone. It doesn't matter if-
Do you mind? I'm talking to my demon."
are you from, Harris?"
the basement, mostly."
you born there?"
Snyder: "I walked
by your guidance counselor's office one time. A bunch of you were sitting
there... waiting to be shepherded. I remember it smelled like dead flowers.
Like decay. Then it hit me. The hope of our nation's future is a bunch
Xander: "You know,
I never got the chance to tell you how glad I was you were eaten by a snake."
are you heading?"
I'm supposed to meet Tara and Willow. And possibly Buffy's mom."
not the way out."
"What the hell is wrong with you? You won't come upstairs? What are you...
ashamed of us? Your mother's crying her guts out!"
Xander: "You don't
"No. You don't understand. The line ends here with us, and you're not gonna
change that. You haven't got the heart."
Spike: "I've hired
myself out as an attraction."
at least it's showbiz."
Giles: "I'm so
sorry I'm late. There's a great deal going on. And all at once!"
we know it. Only at death's door over here, look at Xander!"
Xander: "Got the
sucking chest wound swingin'. I promised Anya I'd be there for her big
night. Now I'll probably be pushing up daisies, in the sense of being in
the ground underneath them and fertilizing the soil with decomposition."
Anya: "Okay. A
man... walks into the office of a doctor. He's wearing on his head,
um... Wait, there's, there's a, there's a duck. Is that right?"
Man in crowd:
You'll miss the humorous conclusion."
Willow: "Do you
know this is your fault?"
Giles: "We have
to think of the facts, Willow. I'm very busy. I have a gig myself, you
after us. It's, uh, like some primal... some animal force."
Giles: "That used
to be us."
get linear on me now, man."
"It's strange, it's not like anything we've faced before. It seems familiar
somehow. Of course! The spell we cast with Buffy must have released some
primal evil that's come back seeking I'm not sure what... Willow, look
through the chronicles for some reference to a warrior beast. I've got
to warn Buffy- there's every chance she might be next. Xander, help Willow
and try not to bleed on my couch I've just had it steam-cleaned. No, wait..."
Giles: "I know
who you are. And I can defeat you... with my intellect. I... can cripple
you with my thoughts. Of course, you underestimate me. You couldn't know.
You never had a Watcher."
Tara: "You think
you know... what's to come... what you are. You haven't even begun."
Buffy: "I think
I need to go find the others."
Tara: "Be back
Riley: "I never
Buffy: "But how
did the debriefing go?"
Riley: "I told
you not to worry about that. It went great. They made me surgeon general."
Buffy: "Why didn't
you come and tell me? We could have celebrated."
Riley: "Oh. We're
drawing up a plan for world domination. The key element? Coffeemakers that
domination? I-is that a good?"
we're the government. It's what we do."
Adam: "She's uncomfortable
with certain concepts. It's understandable. Aggression is a natural
human tendency. Though you and me come by it another way."
Adam: "Is that
we've got important work here. A lot of filing, giving things names."
Buffy: "What was
Adam? Not a man among us can remember."
Adam: "This could
Riley: "We better
make a fort."
Adam: "I'll get
Buffy: "I'm never
gonna find them here."
Tara: "Of course
not. That's the reason you came."
not in my dream."
Tara: "I was borrowed.
Someone has to speak for her."
Buffy: "Let her
speak for herself. That's what's done in polite circles. Why do you follow
Tara: "I don't."
are my friends?"
asking the wrong questions."
Buffy: "Make her
Tara: "I have
no speech. No name. I live in the action of death, the blood cry, the penetrating
wound. I am destruction. Absolute... alone."
Buffy: "The Slayer."
Tara: "The first."
Buffy: "I am not
Tara: "The Slayer
does not walk in this world."
Buffy: "I walk.
I talk. I shop. I sneeze. I'm gonna be a fireman when the floods roll back.
There's trees in the desert since you moved out. And I don't sleep on a
bed of bones. Now give me back my friends."
"No... friends! Just the kill. We... are... alone!"
it. I'm waking up."
Buffy: "Are you
quite finished? It's over, okay? I'm going to ignore you, and you're going
to go away. You're really gonna have to get over the whole... primal power
thing. You're not the source of me. Also, in terms of hair care,
you really wanna say, what kind of impression am I making in the workplace?
Willow: "The First
Xander: "Not big
with the socialization."
Willow: "Or the
our joining with... Buffy and... invoking the essence of the, the Slayer's
power was an affront to the source of that power."
Buffy: "You know,
you could have brought that up to us before we did it."
Giles: "I did.
I said there could be dire consequences."
Buffy: "Yes, but
you say that about chewing too fast."
Buffy: "Ah... Well,
at least you all didn't dream about that guy with the cheese. I don't know
where the hell that came from."
Tara: "You think
you know... what's to come... what you are. You haven't even begun."