Home sweet homeInfo on episode, cast, characters, quotes, and moreMedia items including galleries, fanart, and comicsFun for everyone in the form of quizzes, a store, Be a Watcher, and columnsSite related items such as banners, links, cliques, etc.ChosenTwo.com

Reptile Boy Quotes
Reptile Boy Quotes

Xander: Is she dying?
Buffy: I think she's singing.
Xander: To a telephone in Hindi. Now that's entertainment! Why is she singing?
Willow: She's sad because her lover gave her twelve gold coins, but then the wizard cut open the bag of salt, and now the dancing minions have nowhere to put their big maypole... fish thing.
Xander: Uh-huh. Why is she singing?
Buffy: Her lover? I thought that was her chiropractor.
Willow: Because of that thing he did with her feet? No, that was personal.
Xander: Hmm. And we thought just because we didn't have any money or anyplace to go this would be a lackluster evening.
Willow: I know! We could go to the Bronze and sneak in our own tea bags and ask for hot water.
Xander: Hop off the outlaw train, Will, before you land us all in jail.
Buffy: I, for one, am giddy and up. There's a kinda hush all over Sunnydale. No demons or vampires to slay, I'm here with my friends... So, how does the water buffalo fit in again?

Willow: You two are so right for each other. Except for the, uh...
Buffy: Vampire thing.
Willow: That doesn't make him a bad person. Necessarily.
Buffy: I'm brainsick. I can't have a relationship with him.
Willow: Not during the day, but you could ask him for coffee some night. It's the non-relationship drink of choice. It's not a date, it's a caffeinated beverage. Okay, sure, it's hot and bitter like a relationship that way, but...
Xander: What's like a relationship?
Buffy: Nothing I have. Coffee?
Xander: Huh?

Cordelia: There's really no comparison between college men and high school boys. I mean, look at that.
Xander: So, Cor, you're datin' college guys now.
Cordelia:Well, not that it's any of your business, but I happen to be dating a Delta Zeta Kappa.
Xander: Oh! An extra-terrestrial. So that's how you get a date after you exhausted all the human guys.
Cordelia:You'll go to college someday, Xander. I just know your pizza delivery career will take you so many exciting places.

Giles: When you live on top of a... a mystical convergence it's only a matter of time before a fresh hell breaks loose. Now is the time that you should train more strictly, you should hunt and patrol more keenly, you should hone your skills day and night.
Buffy: And the little slice of life that still belongs to me from, I don't know, seven to seven-oh-five in the morning, can I do what I want then?
Giles: Buffy, you think I don't know what it's like to be sixteen?
Buffy: No. I think you don't know what it's like to be sixteen. And a girl. And the Slayer.
Giles: Fair enough, no, no, I-I don't.
Buffy: Or what it's like to have to stake vampires while you're having fuzzy feelings towards one?
Giles: Uh...
Buffy: Digging on the undead doesn't exactly do wonders for your social life.
Giles: That's exactly where, where being... different, uh, comes in handy.
Buffy: Right! Who needs a social life when you've got your very own Hellmouth?
Giles: Yes! Y-you, you, you have a duty, a-a-a purpose, y-y-you have a commitment in life. Now how many people your age can say that?
Buffy: We talkin' foreign or domestic? How 'bout none?
Giles: Well, here's a hard fact of life: we all have to do things we don't like! And you have hand-to-hand this afternoon and patrol tonight. So I, I suggest you come straight here at the end of, of period six a-and you get your homework done. And don't dawdle with your friends. And, and don't think sitting there pouting is gonna get to me, because it won't... It's not getting to me.

Xander: Okay, so tonight, channel fifty-nine, Indian TV, sex, lies, incomprehensible story lines. I'll bring the betel nuts.
Cordelia: Come on. Richard and his fraternity brother wanna meet you.
Buffy: Well, I don't really wanna meet any fraternity boys.
Cordelia: And if there was a God, don't you think he'd keep it that way?
Xander: Uh, I-I believe we were dawdling here!

Buffy: Y'know, people underestimate the value of a good ramble.

Xander: I hate these guys. Whatever they want just falls into their laps. Don't you hate these guys?
Willow: Yeah, with their charmed lives and their movie star good looks and more money than you can count? I'm hating.

Angel: What are you sayin', you wanna have a date?
Buffy: No.
Angel: You don't wanna have a date?
Buffy: Who said 'date'? I-I-I never said 'date'.
Angel: Right. You just wanna have coffee or somethin'.
Buffy: Coffee?
Angel: I knew this was gonna happen.
Buffy: What? What do you think is happening?
Angel: You're sixteen years old. I'm two hundred and forty-one.
Buffy: I've done the math.
Angel: You don't know what you're doing, you don't know what you want...
Buffy: Oh. No, I, I think I do. I want out of this conversation.
Angel: Listen, if we date you and I both know one thing's gonna lead to another.
Buffy: One thing already has led to another. You think it's a little late to be reading me a warning label?v Angel: I'm just tryin' to protect you. This could get outta control.
Buffy: Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
Angel: This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Buffy: No. When you kiss me I wanna die.

Cordelia: Buffy! Did you lose weight? And your hair... Alright, I respect you too much to be dishonest. The hair's a little... Well, that really isn't the point here, is it? The Zeta Kappas have to have a certain balance at their party, and Richard explained it all to me, but I was so busy really listening that I didn't hear much. Anyway, the deal is they need you to go. And if you don't go, I can't. And I'm talking about Richard Anderson, okay? As in Anderson Farms, Anderson Aeronautics and Anderson Cosmetics. Well, you see why I have to go. Buffy, these men are rich. And I am not being shallow. Think of all the poor people I could help with all my money!
Buffy: I'll go.
Cordelia: You'll go? Great! I'll drive. Oh, Buffy, it's like we're sisters! With really different hair.

Willow: I don't understand. I mean, he likes you. More than likes.
Buffy: Angel barely says two words to me.
Xander: Don't you hate that?
Buffy: And when he does, he treats me like I'm a child.
Xander: That bastard!
Buffy: You know, at least Tom can carry on a conversation.
Xander: Yeah! Tom? Who's Tom?
Willow: The frat guy.
Xander: Oh, Buffy, I don't think so. Frying pan, fire? You know what I'm sayin'.

Buffy: It's broken in two. I don't know what the rest of the letters might have spelled. And there's blood on it.
Giles: Uh, I didn't see any.
Buffy: Angel showed up. He could smell it.
Xander: The blood? There's a guy you wanna party with.

Buffy: Well, say it.
Xander: I'm not gonna say it.
Willow: You lied to Giles.
Xander: 'Cause she will.
Buffy: Look, I wasn't lying. I was just... protecting him from information that he wouldn't be able to... digest properly.
Xander: Like a corn dog.
Willow: Like you don't have a sick mother, but you'd rather go to a frat party where there's gonna be drinking and older guys and probably an orgy.
Xander: Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho, rewind. Since when do they have orgies, and why aren't I on the mailing list?
Buffy: There's no orgies!
Willow: I heard a lot of wild things go on at frat parties.
Buffy: Okay, you know what? Look, seven days a week I am busy saving the world. Once in a great while I wanna have some fun. And that's what I'm gonna have tonight. Fun!

Cordelia: This isn't about fun. This is about duty, your duty, to help me achieve permanent prosperity. Okay? Do's and dont's: don't wear black, silk, chiffon or spandex. These are my trademarks. And don't do that weird thing with your hair.
Buffy: What weird thing with my...
Cordelia: Don't interrupt. Do be interested if someone should speak to you. It may or may not happen, but do be polite. And laugh at the appropriate intervals. Do lie to your mom about where we're going. It's a fraternity, and there will be drinking.
Xander: So, Cor, you printing up business cards with your pager number and hours of operation, or just going with a halter top tonight?
Cordelia: Oh, are we feeling a little envious? You could belong to a fraternity of rich and powerful men. In the Bizarro world.

Willow: I can't believe she lied to Giles. My world is all askew.
Xander: Buffy's lying, Buffy's going to frat parties... That's not askew, that's cockeyed.
Willow: Askew means cockeyed.
Xander: Oh.

Xander: I'm goin' to the party.
Willow: What?
Xander: I gotta keep an eye on Buffy. Those frat guys creep me.
Willow: You wanna protect her?
Xander: Mm-hm.
Willow: And prove that you're just as good as those rich, snotty guys?
Xander: Mm-hm.
Willow: Maybe catch an orgy?
Xander: If it's on early.

Giles: Callie Megan Anderson. Missing for over a week. No one's seen her, no one knows what happened to her.
Willow: This being Sunnydale and all I guess we can rule out something good.

Willow: Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off! And you never let her do anything except work and patrol! And I know she's the Chosen One, but you're killing her with the pressure! I mean, she's sixteen going on forty! And you! I mean, you're gonna live forever! You don't have time for a cup of coffee?! Okay, I don't feel better now, and we've gotta help Buffy.

Xander: One day I'll have money. Prestige. Power. And on that day they'll still have more.

Xander: That's for the wig! That's for the bra!
Willow: Some guy's attacking Buffy with a sword! Also there's a really big snake!
Xander: That's for the makeup! And that's for the last sixteen and a half years!
Willow: Guys! Buffy! Snake! Basement! Now!

Cordelia: You did it! You saved us! I've never been so happy to see anyone in my whole... You guys. I just... hate you guys! The weirdest things always happen when you're around! And you! You're going to jail for fifteen thousand years!

Buffy: I told one lie, I had one drink.
Giles: Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words 'let that be a lesson' are a tad redundant at this juncture.
Buffy: I'm sorry.
Giles: So am I. I... I drive you too hard because I-I know what you have to face. From now on no, no more pushing, no more prodding. Just, uh, an inordinate amount of nudging.

Cordelia: Thank you, Jonathan. Did we forget something?
Jonathan: Um... Cinnamon, chocolate, half-caf, nonfat. Extra foam!
Cordelia: Young men are the only way to go.

Willow: Have you heard from Angel? When he got so mad about you being in danger, and changed into a grr, it was the most amazing thing I ever saw. I mean, how many guys can...
Xander: Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around to that freak? Hey, man, how you doin'?
Angel: Buffy.
Buffy: Angel.
Xander: Xander!
Angel: I hear this place, uh, serves coffee. I thought maybe you and I should get some. Sometime. If you want.
Buffy: Yeah. Sometime. I'll let you know.


The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

C'mon, Cordelia. You wanna be a member of the Scooby Gang you gotta be willing to be inconvenienced every now and then.
Oh, right, 'cause I lie awake at night hoping you tweakos will be my best friends.
-Xander and Cordelia (What's My Line? (Part 1))


Where to Watch:
  Amazon Instant Video
Hulu
iTunes
Netflix


Merchandise:

BtVS: The Score CD BtVS: The Score CD

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - The Chosen Collection (Seasons 1-7) BtVS - The Chosen Collection (Seasons 1-7)


This site and its content & graphics are copyright 1999-2015 Anna and Harsh Light Productions. "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" TM and (or copyright) Fox and its related entities. All rights reserved. Any reproduction, duplication or distribution of these materials in any form is expressly prohibited. This web site, its operators and any content on this site relating to "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" are not authorized by Fox. Please read this site's disclaimer.