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Prophecy Girl Quotes
Prophecy Girl Quotes

Xander: You know how I feel about you. It's, uh, pretty obvious, isn't it? There's never been anyone else for me... but you. And we're good friends, and it's time to take the next step. Would you, um... date me? Oh that's good! Date me! It's terrible, right?
Willow: Huh? Oh, no! Oh, yes, 'date me' is silly...
Xander: See, what I should do is I should just start with talking about the dance. Y'know, Buffy, Spring Fling just isn't any dance. It's a time for students to choose, um... a mate and then we can... observe their... mating rituals and tag them before they migrate. Just kill me!
Willow: You're doing fine!
Xander: Why's it so hard? I should just walk up to her and say, 'Hey, I like you. Let's go to the dance together.'
Willow: Direct and to the point.
Xander: I'm ready. I wanna do it now. I gotta do it now.
Willow: Oh, Buffy's not here. You can practice on me some more.
Xander: No, no, I can't wait until tomorrow, I-I'll be thinking about it too much. Why didn't Buffy show up tonight? What's she doing?
Willow: Oh, you know, the usual.

Buffy: Three in one night. Giles would be so proud.

Master: Yes! YES! Shake, Earth! This is a sign! We are in the final days! My time has come! Glory! GLORY! Whadaya think? 5.1?

Buffy: Wow. The damage looks fairly structural. Are we safe in here?
Giles: Buffy!
Buffy: What? Do I have something on my face?
Giles: No! Uh, and, and yes, we're, we're safe. Uh, but probably best not to go up there.
Buffy: How're you doin' there, Giles? Get much sleep last night?
Giles: Um... I-I-I've been working.
Buffy: Me, too. I went hunting last night, and it is awfully sweet of you to ask. It's getting hairy out there, Giles. I killed three vampires last night, and one of them was practically on school grounds.
Giles: Their numbers are increasing.
Buffy: And they're getting cockier. Look, I'm not loving it. Last night was a pretty close call.
Giles: Yes.
Buffy: Giles, care? I'm putting my life on the line battling the undead. Look, I broke a nail, okay? I'm wearing a press-on. The least you could do is exhibit some casual interest. You could go, 'hmm'.
Giles: Hmm? Oh, sorry. Um, yes, I'm very glad that you're alright. Uh, I-I need to verify, um... I just can't really talk right now.
Buffy: Fine. That's okay. I can't put it off any longer. I have to meet my terrible fate.
Giles: What?!
Buffy: Biology.

Buffy: Wow. That was boring.
Xander: I don't feel that boring covers it.
Buffy: No, boring falls short.
Willow: Even I was bored. And I'm a science nerd.
Buffy: Don't say that.
Willow: I'm not ashamed. It's the computer age. Nerds are in. They're still in, right?

Xander: Um... You know, Buffy, uh, Spring Fling is a... time for students to gather and... Oh, God! Buffy, I want you to go to the dance with me. You and me, on a date.
Buffy: I-I don't know what to say.
Xander: Well, you're not laughing. So that's a good start. Buffy, I like you. A lot. And I know we're friends, and we've had experiences... We've fought some blood-sucking fiends, and that's all been a good time. But I want more. I wanna dance with you.
Buffy: Xander, you're one of my best friends. You and Willow...
Xander: Well, Willow's not looking to date you. Or if she is, she's playing it pretty close to the chest.
Buffy: I don't want to spoil the friendship that we have.
Xander: Well, I don't want to spoil it either. But that's not the point, is it? You either feel a thing or you don't.
Buffy: I don't. Xander, I'm, I'm sorry. I-I just don't think of you that way.
Xander: Well, try. I'll wait.
Buffy: Xander...
Xander: Nah. Forget it. I'm not him. I mean, I guess a guy's gotta be undead to make time with you.
Buffy: That's really harsh.
vLook, I'm sorry. I don't handle rejection well. Funny! Considering all the practice I've had, huh?
Buffy: Xander, I'm sorry, I don't know...
Xander: You know what? Let's just not.

Ms. Calendar: You know, that outfit looks just like the one you wore yesterday. Only wrinklier. Were you here all night?
Giles: Sorry, uh... I'm not really up to, uh, socializing just now.
Ms. Calendar: Something's going on, Rupert, and I'm guessing you already know what it is.
Giles: What do you know?
Ms. Calendar: Well, I have been surfing the 'Net, looking for unexplained incidents. You know, people are always sending stuff my way. They know the occult's my turf. Now, here is the latest. A cat last week gave birth to a litter of snakes. A family was swimming in Whisper Lake when the lake suddenly began to boil. And Mercy Hospital last night, a boy was born with his eyes facing inward. I'm not stupid. This is apocalypse stuff. And throw in last night's earthquake, and I'd say we've got a problem. I would say the end is pretty seriously nigh.
Giles: I don't know if I can trust you.

Cordelia: Willow! I really like your outfit!
Willow: No, you don't.
Cordelia: No, I really don't, but I need a favor.
Willow: What kind?
Cordelia: Well, the Bronze won't let us use their sound system, and I need someone who knows how to hook one up. If you could just show up tomorrow morning... I'd be really, really grateful! I mean, I'd talk to you at the dance and everything.
Willow: Sure.

Willow: How'd it go?
Xander: On a scale of one to ten? It sucked.
Willow: Oh.
Xander: Well, I guess it could be worse. I could have gangrene on my face.
Willow: Well, what'd she say?
Xander: Apart from 'no', does it really matter? She's still jonesin' for Angel, and could care less about me.
Willow: At least now you know.
Xander: Yeah, you're right. The deal's done. The polls are in, and it's time for my concession speech. Hey, I know what we'll do! We can go! Be my date! We'll, we'll have a great time! We'll dance, we'll go wild... Whadaya say?
Willow: No.
Xander: Good! What?
Willow: There's no way.
Xander: Willow, come on!
Willow: You think I wanna go to the dance with you and watch you wish you were at the dance with her? You think that's my idea of hijinks? You should know better.
Xander: I didn't think.
Willow: I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. I'll see you on Monday.
Xander: That's okay. I don't wanna go. I'm just gonna go home, lie down and listen to country music. The music of pain.

Angel: It can't be. You've gotta be wrong.
Giles: I've checked it against all my other volumes. It's very real.
Angel: Well, there's gotta be some way around it.
Giles: Listen. Some prophecies are, are a bit dodgy. They're, they're mutable. Buffy herself has, has thwarted them time and time again, but this is the Codex. There is nothing in it that does not come to pass.
Angel: Then you're reading it wrong.
Giles: I wish to God I were! But it's very plain! Tomorrow night Buffy will face the Master, and she will die.

Buffy: So that's it, huh? I remember the drill. One Slayer dies, next one's called! Wonder who she is. Will you train her? Or will they send someone else?
Giles: Buffy, I...
Buffy: They say how he's gonna kill me? Do you think it'll hurt? Don't touch me! Were you even gonna tell me?
Giles: I was hoping that I wouldn't have to. That there was... some way around it. I...
Buffy: I've got a way around it. I quit!
Angel: It's not that simple.
Buffy: I'm making it that simple! I quit! I resign, I-I'm fired, you can find someone else to stop the Master from taking over!
Giles: I'm not sure that anyone else can. All the... the signs indicate...
Buffy: The signs? READ ME THE SIGNS! TELL ME MY FORTUNE! YOU'RE SO USEFUL SITTING HERE WITH ALL YOUR BOOKS! YOU'RE REALLY A LOTTA HELP!
Giles: No, I don't suppose I am.
Angel: I know this is hard.
Buffy: What do you know about this? You're never gonna die!
Angel: You think I want anything to happen to you? Do you think I could stand it? We just gotta figure out a way...
Buffy: I already did. I quit, remember? Pay attention!
Giles: Buffy, if the Master rises...
Buffy: I don't care! I don't care. Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die.

Joyce: Feel like telling me what's on your mind?
Buffy: Mom, let's go away!
Joyce: What?
Buffy: Anywhere, just for a while, all weekend!
Joyce: Honey, I...
Buffy: No, it'll be great! You and me, a mother-daughter thing... We can talk about all the embarrassing things you love to bring up.
Joyce: You know the gallery's open on weekends.
Buffy: Mom, please!
Joyce: Isn't the Prom tomorrow night? Or Spring Fling, whatever they're calling it?
Buffy: I-I guess.
Joyce: Nobody asked you?
Buffy: Oh, someone...
Joyce: But not the right someone. See, sometimes I actually do know what you're thinking. Well, then, uh, this probably isn't the best time for this, but, uh... I saw you eyeing it at the store. I figured...
Buffy: Mom, we can't afford this.
Joyce: The way you've been eating, we can afford it.
Buffy: It's beautiful.
Joyce: I think you should wear it. To the dance.
Buffy: No, I-I can't go to the dance.
Joyce: Says who? Is it written somewhere? You should do what you want. Homecoming, my freshman year of college. I didn't have a date, so I got dressed up and I went anyway.
Buffy: Was it awful?
Joyce: It was awful. For about an hour.
Buffy: Then what happened?
Joyce: I met your father.
Buffy: He didn't have a date either?
Joyce: He did. And that's a much funnier story that you will not get to hear. Oh, but it was a beautiful night!
Buffy: And you had your whole life ahead of you.
Joyce: Yeah.
Buffy: Must be nice.

Willow: I've seen so much. I thought I could take anything. But, Buffy, this... this was different.
Buffy: It'll be alright.
Willow: I'm trying to think how to say it... to explain it so you understand.
Buffy: It doesn't matter as long as you're okay.
Willow: I'm not okay. I knew those guys. I go to that room every day. And when I walked in there, it... it wasn't our world anymore. They made it theirs. And they had fun. What are we gonna do?
Buffy: What we have to. Promise me you'll stay in tonight, okay?
Willow: Buffy? I like your dress.

Ms. Calendar: Okay, so this Master guy tried to open the Hellmouth. But he got stuck in it, and now all the signs are reading that he's gonna get out, which opens the Hellmouth, which brings the demons, which ends the world.
Giles: Yes. That about sums it up, yes.
Ms. Calendar: The part that gets me, though, is where Buffy is the Vampire Slayer. She's so little.

Giles: Buffy's not gonna face the Master. I am.
Buffy: No, you're not. So, I'm looking for a kid, huh? And he'll lead me to the Master?
Giles: Buffy, I'm not gonna send you out there to die. Now, you were right. I-I've waded around in these old books for so long, I've forgotten what the real world is like. I-it's time I found out.
Buffy: You're still not going up against the Master.
Giles: I've made up my mind.
Buffy: So have I.
Giles: I made up my mine first! I'm older and wiser than you, and just... just do what you're told for once! Alright?
Buffy: That's not how it goes. I'm the Slayer.
Giles: I don't care what the books say. I defy prophecy, and I am going. There's nothing you can say will change my mind.
Buffy: I know... When he wakes up tell him... I don't know. Think of something cool, tell him I said it.
Ms. Calendar: You fight the Master, and you'll die.
Buffy: Maybe. Maybe I'll take him with me.

Xander: She what?
Willow: I told you there was something going on with her.
Xander: And she knew about this prophecy of yours? Aw, man, what do we do?
Giles: We stay calm, first thing.
Xander: Calm?
Willow: I think he's right.
Xander: I'm sorry, calm may work for Locutus of the Borg here, but I'm freaked out, and I intend to stay that way.
Willow: Xander...
Xander: How could you let her go?
Giles: As the soon-to-be-purple area of my jaw will attest, I did not let her go!
Willow: Well, how can we help her?
Ms. Calendar: Uh, I'm sorry to bring this up, but we also have an apocalypse to worry about?
Xander: Do you mind?
Willow: How come she's in the club?
Ms. Calendar: Hey! Once the Master gets free, the Hellmouth opens, the demons come to party, and everybody dies.
Xander: Uh, uh, I don't care. I'm sorry, I don't. Right now I gotta help Buffy.
Giles: We don't even know where she's gone.
Xander: No. But I can find out.

Xander: She's gone.
Angel: Whadaya mean?
Xander: Buffy, she's gone to fight the Master.
Angel: He'll kill her.
Xander: Rumor has it. Only we're not gonna let it happen.
Angel: Well, what do you propose we do about it?
Xander: Look, I know you can find this Master guy. He's underground, right? Take me to him.
Angel: You're way outta your league, kid. The Master'll kill you before you can even breathe. If you're lucky.
Xander: How can I say this clearly? I don't like you. At the end of the day, I pretty much think you're a vampire. But Buffy's got this big old yen for you. She thinks you're a real person. And right now I need you to prove her right.
Angel: You're in love with her.
Xander: Aren't you?

Angel: This way. What?
Xander: You were looking at my neck.
Angel: What?
Xander: You were checking out my neck! I saw that!
Angel: No, I wasn't!
Xander: Just keep your distance, pal.
Angel: I wasn't looking at your neck!
Xander: I told you to eat before we left.

Master: You tried. It was noble of you. You heard the prophecy that I was about to break free and you came to stop me. But prophecies are tricky creatures. They don't tell you everything. You're the one that sets me free! If you hadn't come, I couldn't go. Think about that! Oh, God! The power! And by the way... I like your dress.

Ms. Calendar: What do we do now?
Willow: We've gotta get to the library!
Cordelia: Library! Great!
Willow: Of course, we generally walk there.

Xander: No. You're still weak.
Buffy: No. No, I feel strong. I feel different. Let's go!

Master: Yes. Come forth, my child. Come into my world.
Buffy: I don't think it's yours just yet.
Master: You're dead!
Buffy: I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you.
Master: You were destined to die! It was written!
Buffy: What can I say? I flunked the written.

Master: Did you really think you could best me here when you couldn't below?
Buffy: You have fruit punch mouth.
Master: What?
Buffy: Save the hypnosis crap for the tourists.

Master: Where are your jibes now? Will you laugh when my Hell is on Earth? Buffy: You're that amped about Hell... Go there!

Giles: The vampires?
Cordelia: Gone.
Angel: The Master?
Giles: Dead. The Hellmouth is closed. Buffy... Buffy?
Buffy: Oh, sorry. It's just been a really weird day.
Xander: Yeah! Buffy died, and everything!
Willow: Wow! Harsh.
Giles: I should have known that wouldn't stop you.
Ms. Calendar: Well, what do we do now?
Giles: I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd like to get out of this place. I don't like the library very much anymore.
Xander: Hey! I hear there's a dance at the Bronze tonight. Could be fun.
Cordelia: Yeah!
Willow: Buffy?
Buffy: Sure! We saved the world. I say we party! I mean, I got all pretty.
Ms. Calendar: And what about him?
Buffy: He's not going anywhere. Loser.
Giles: I'm not dancing, though.
Ms. Calendar: We'll see.
Willow: You can come with us, Angel.
Buffy: I'm hungry.
Xander: So what's the story with the car?
Cordelia: Oh, that was me, saving the day!
Willow: Get something to drink.
Buffy: Is anybody else hungry?
Willow: Well, no, don't do that. Just hang.
Buffy: I'm really, really hungry.
Angel: By the way, I really like your dress.
Buffy: Yeah, yeah. Big hit with everyone.


The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

Alright, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.
Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm.
-Giles and Buffy (Never Kill a Boy on the First Date)


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Buffy the Vampire Slayer - The Chosen Collection (Seasons 1-7) BtVS - The Chosen Collection (Seasons 1-7)


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