Willow: So did you like the movie last night?
Oz: I don't know. T-today's movies are kind of like popcorn. You know, you forget about them as soon as they're done. I do remember I liked the popcorn, though.
Willow: Yeah, it was good. And I had a really fun time with the rest. I mean, the part with you.
Oz: Oh, that's great. Uh, my time was also of the good.
Willow: Mine, too. Well, then... Oh, there. I have my friend. So I will go to her.
Oz: I'll see you then. Uh, later.
Larry: Man! Oz, I would love to get me some of that Buffy and Willow action, if you know what I mean.
Oz: That's great, Larry. You've really mastered the single entendre.
Larry: So, Oz, man, what's up with that? Dating a junior? Uh, let me guess. That little innocent schoolgirl thing is just, uh, just an act, right?
Oz: Yeah. Yeah, she's actually an evil mastermind. It's fun.
Willow: Nowhere. I mean, he said he was gonna wait until I was ready, but I'm ready. Honest. I'm good to go here.
Buffy: Well, I think it's nice that he's not just being an animal.
Willow: It is nice. He's great. We have a lot of fun. But I want smoochies!
Buffy: Have you dropped any hints?
Willow: I've dropped anvils.
Buffy: Ah, he'll come around. What guy could resist your wily Willow charms?
Willow: At last count, all of them. Maybe more.
Buffy: Well, none of them know a thing. They all get an 'F' in Willow.
Willow: But I want Oz to get an 'A', and, oh, one of those gold stars.
Willow: Great. I'll give Xander a call. What's his number? Oh, yeah, 1-800-I'm-Dating-A-Skanky-Ho.
Willow: Really? Thanks. I've never gotten a 'meow' before.
Willow: Darn tootin'. I'm just saying Xander and Cordelia? I mean, what does he see in her anyway?
Xander: But what could she possibly see in him?
Cordelia: Excuse me? We didn't come here to talk about Willow. We came here to do things I can never tell my father about because he still thinks I'm a... good girl.
Xander: I just don't trust Oz with her. I mean, he's a senior, he's attractive -- okay, maybe not to me, but -- and he's in a band. And we know what kind of element that attracts.
Cordelia: I've dated lots of guys in bands.
Xander: Thank you.
Cordelia: Do you even wanna be here?
Xander: I'm not running away.
Cordelia: Because when you're not babbling about poor, defenseless Willow, you are raving about the all-powerful Buffy.
Xander: I do not babble. I occasionally run-on, every now and then I yammer...
Cordelia: Look around. We're in my daddy's car, it's just the two of us, there is a beautiful, big full moon outside tonight. It doesn't get more romantic than this. So shut up!
Buffy: And you're sure it was a werewolf?
Xander: Well, let's see, um, six feet tall, claws, a big old snout in the middle of his face like a wolf. Um, yeah, I'm sticking with my first guess.
Oz: Seems wise.
Xander: Oh, oh, and then there was that little thing where it tried to bite us.
Cordelia: It was so awful.
Xander: I know.
Cordelia: Daddy just had this car detailed.
Giles: Well, it seems there were a, a number of other attacks by a wild dog around town. Several animal carcasses were found mutilated.
Willow: You mean, like bunnies and stuff? No, don't tell me.
Oz: Oh, don't worry. I mean, they might not look it, but bunnies can really take care of themselves.
Giles: Well, for now. But my guess is that this werewolf will be back at next month's full moon.
Willow: What about tonight's full moon?
Willow: Well, last night was the night before the full moon, traditionally known as... 'the night before the full moon.'
Giles: Meaning the accepted legend that werewolves only prowl during a full moon might be erroneous.
Cordelia: Or it could be a crock.
Xander: Unless the werewolf was using last year's almanac.
Buffy: Looks like Giles has some schooling to do.
Giles: Yes, I must admit I, I am intrigued. Werewolves, it's... it's one of the classics. I, I'm sure my books and I are in for a fascinating afternoon.
Buffy: He needs to get a pet.
Coach: Sunnydale is becoming more dangerous all the time. And a full moon like tonight tends to bring out the crazies, but with some simple basics of self-defense each of you can learn how to protect yourself.
Buffy: Here's a suggestion: move away from the Hellmouth.
Willow: Don't forget, you're supposed to be a meek little girlie-girl like the rest of us.
Buffy: Spoil my fun.
Giles: And, uh, while there's absolutely no scientific explanation for lunar effect on the human psyche, uh, the phases of the moon, uh, do seem to exert a great deal of psychological influence. And th-the full moon is, is, seems to bring out our darkest qualities.
Xander: And yet, ironically, uh, led to the invention of the moon pie.
Giles: Oh... Yes, the moon pie. Y-you see, uh, the-the werewolf, uh, is such a, a potent e-e-extreme representation of our inborn animalistic traits that it e-emerges for three full consecutive nights: the full moon and, uh, the two nights surrounding it.
Xander: Quite the party animal.
Giles: Quite. And it, uh, acts on-on pure instinct. No conscience, uh, uh, predatory and, and aggressive.
Buffy: In other words, your typical male.
Xander: On behalf of my gender, hey.
Giles: Yes, let's not jump to any conclusions.
Buffy: I didn't jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were.
Giles: Anything yet?
Buffy: Yes. And you won't believe what I saw. Brittany Podell was making out with Owen Stadeel, but he goes with Barrett Williams. If she ever found... No, um, no, no sign of the werewolf. How about you?
Cain: Well, it's good to get the fruit while it's fresh.
Giles: You'd be wise to take that back.
Cain: Hey, what a man and a girl do in lovers' lane at night is nobody's busi...
Buffy: Oh, okay, hey, enough, repulsive brain. It's not what you think. We're hunting werewolves. Okay, it's funny if you don't believe in werewolves.
Cain: No, it's funny thinking about you two catching one. I mean, this guy looks like he's auditioning to be a librarian, and, you, well, you're a girl.
Giles: I assure you she's quite capable.
Cordelia: I mean, with Xander it's always, 'Buffy did this', 'Willow said that'. Buffy, Buffy. Willow, Willow. It's like I don't even exist.
Willow: I sometimes feel like that.
Cordelia: And then when I call him on it, he acts all confused, like I'm the one with the problem.
Willow: His 'do I smell something?' look.
Cordelia: All a part of his little guy games. It's like he's there, but then he's not there, and he wants it, but then he doesn't want it.
Willow: He's so busy looking around at everything he doesn't have, he doesn't even realize what he does have.
Cordelia: Well, he should at least realize that you have Oz.
Willow: Mm, I'm not sure I do. Oz and I are in some sort of holding pattern, except without the holding or... anything else.
Cordelia: What's he waiting for? What's his problem? Oh, that's right, he's a guy.
Willow: Yeah, him and Xander. Guys.
Cordelia: Who do they think they are?
Willow: A couple of guys.
Oz: Aunt Maureen. Hey, it's me. Um, what? Oh! It's, uh... actually it's healing okay. That's pretty much the reason I called. Um, I wanted to ask you something. Is Jordy a werewolf? Uh-huh. And how long has that been going on? Uh-huh. What? No, no reason. Um... Thanks. Yeah, love to Uncle Ken.
Xander: But while we hang here doing nothing, there's a human werewolf walking around out there, probably making fun of us.
Willow: The way werewolves always do.
Oz: But there's really no way to tell who it is.
Xander: Oh, sure there is. Giles knows stuff, and I'm practically an expert on the subject.
Willow: On account of once you were a hyena?
Xander: I know what it's like to crave the taste of freshly killed meat, to be taken over by those uncontrollable urges.
Buffy: You said you didn't remember anything about that.
Xander: I said I didn't remember anything about that. Look, the point is, is I have an affinity with this thing. I can get inside of its head. I'm a big, bad wolf. I'm on the prowl. I'm sniffing, I'm snarling, I'm a slobbering predator, I'm... Wait a second! It's right in front of us. It's obvious who I am. I'm Larry! The guy's practically got wolf-boy stamped on his forehead. You got the dog bite, you got the aggression, not to mention the excessive back hair.
Xander: Why so jumpy, Larry?
Larry: Geeks make me nervous.
Xander: Is that really it or is there something you're hiding?
Larry: I could hide my fist in your face.
Xander: I know your secret, big guy. I know what you've been doing at night.
Larry: You know, Harris, that nosey little nose of yours is going to get you into trouble someday... Like today.
Xander: Hurting me isn't gonna make this go away. People are still gonna find out.
Larry: Alright. What do you want? Hush money? Is that what you're after?
Xander: I don't want anything! I just wanna help!
Larry: What, you think you have a cure?
Xander: No, it's just... I know what you're going through because I've been there. That's why I know you should talk about it.
Larry: Yeah, that's easy for you to say. I mean, you're nobody. I've got a reputation here.
Xander: Larry, please, before someone else gets hurt.
Larry: Look, if this gets out, it's over for me. I mean, forget about playing football. They'll run me outta this town. I mean, come on! How are people going to look at me after they find out I'm gay. Oh, wow. I said it. And it felt... okay. I'm gay. I am gay.
Xander: I heard you the first time.
Larry: I can't believe it. It was almost easy. I never felt I could tell anyone. And then you, you of all people, you bring it outta me.
Xander: It probably would have slipped out even if I wasn't here.
Larry: No, no, because knowing you went through the same thing, made it easier for me to admit it.
Xander: The same thing...
Larry: It's ironic. I mean, all those times I beat the crap out of you, it musta been because I recognized something in you that I didn't want to believe about myself.
Xander: Larry, no, I am not...
Larry: Of course, of course not. Don't worry. I wouldn't do that to you. Your secret's safe with me.
Buffy: So what's the scuttlebutt? Anybody besides Larry fit our werewolf profile?
Willow: There is one name that keeps getting spit out. Aggressive behavior, run-ins with authorities, about a screenful of violent incidents.
Buffy: Okay, most of those were not my fault. Somebody else started 'em. I was just standing up for myself.
Willow: They say it's a good idea to count to ten when you're angry.
Buffy: One... Two... Three...
Willow: I'll keep looking.
Buffy: Welcome to the mystery that is men. I think it goes something like, they grow body hair, they lose all ability to tell you what they really want.
Willow: It doesn't seem like a fair trade.
Willow: It used to be so much easier to tell if a boy liked you. He'd punch you on the arm and then run back to his friends.
Buffy: Those were the days.
Willow: I'll see you guys later. Cordelia asked me to look over her history homework before class. I think that means I might have to do it.
Xander: Wow, those two gals are hanging out a lot together. This would be a good time to panic.
Buffy: So how'd it go with Larry?
Xander: What's that supposed to mean?
Buffy: I think it's supposed to mean, 'so how'd it go with Larry'?
Xander: He's not the werewolf. Can't we just leave it at that? Must you continue to push and push?
Xander: So that's good, right? I mean in the sense of the werewolf didn't get her, and... No. There is no good here.
Buffy: No good. Instead of not protecting Theresa from the werewolf, I was able to not protect her from something just as bad. She had a lot of friends.
Xander: Buffy, you can't blame yourself for every death that happens in Sunnydale. If it weren't for you people'd be lined up five deep waitin' to get themselves buried. Willow would be Robbie the Robot's love slave, I wouldn't even have a head, and Theresa's a vampire.
Willow: I mean, what am I supposed to think? First, you buy me popcorn and then you're all glad that I didn't get bit. And you put the tag back in my shirt. But I guess none of that means anything because instead of looking up names with me, here you are all alone in your house doing nothing by yourself.
Oz: Willow, we'll talk about this tomorrow. I promise.
Willow: No, damn it! We'll talk about this now! Buffy told me that sometimes what a girl makes has to be the first move and now that I'm saying this, I'm starting to think that the written version sounded pretty good, but you know what I mean.
Oz: I know, I know, it's me. I'm, I'm goin' through some... changes.
Willow: Well, welcome to the world! Things happen. Don't you think I'm going through a lot?
Oz: Not like me.
Willow: Oh, what, so now you're special? You're special boy... With chains and stuff. Why do you have chains and stuff?
Willow: It's Oz! It's Oz!
Buffy: Wh-what's Oz?
Willow: The werewolf.
Giles: Are you certain?
Willow: Can't you just trust me on this? He-he said he was going through all these changes. Then he went through all these... changes.
Buffy: Where is he now?
Willow: In the woods.
Giles: Let's go.
Willow: Go where? You're not gonna kill Oz! Yeah, he's a werewolf, but he doesn't mean to be.
Buffy: Don't worry, Willow. We're not going to hurt him.
Cain: No wonder this town's overrun with monsters. No one here's man enough to kill 'em.
Buffy: Oh, I wouldn't be too sure of that. How about you let the door hit you in the ass on the way out of town?
Xander: This is all so weird. I mean, how are we supposed to act when we see him?
Buffy: Well, it's gotta be weird for him, too. Now that we know so much.
Xander: All I know is I'll never be able to look at him the same again.
Buffy: He's still a human being. Most of the time.
Xander: Who are we talking about?
Buffy: Oz. Who are you talking about?
Xander: No one.
Larry: Hey! Xander. Look, about what you did. I, I owe you.
Buffy: What'd you do?
Xander: It's really nothing we should be talking about. Ever.
Larry: I know, I know. It's just, well, thanks.
Buffy: That was weird.
Xander: What, it's not okay for one guy to like another guy just because he happened to be in the locker room with him when absolutely nothing happened and I thought I told you not to push.
Buffy: All I meant is that he didn't try to look up my skirt.
Xander: Oh, oh, yeah, that's, that's the weirdness.
Buffy: Certainly gonna put a strain on Willow and Oz's relationship.
Xander: What relationship? I mean, what life could they possibly have together? We're talking obedience school, paper training, Oz is always in back burying their things, and that kind of breed can turn on its owner.
Buffy: I don't know. I kinda see Oz as the loyal type.
Xander: All I'm saying is she's not safe with him. If it were up to me...
Buffy: Xander... It's not up to you.
Oz: I spoke to Giles. He said I'll be okay. I just have to lock myself up around the full moon. Only he used more words than that. And a globe.
Willow: I'm sorry about how all this ended up. With me shooting you and all.
Oz: It's okay. I'm, I'm sorry I almost ate you.
Willow: It's okay. I kind of thought you would have told me.
Oz: I didn't know what to say. I mean, it's not everyday you find out you're a werewolf. That's fairly freaksome. It may take a couple days getting used to.
Willow: Yeah. It's a complication.
Oz: So... Maybe it'd be best if I just... sorta...
Oz: Well, you know, like, stayed out of your way for awhile.
Willow: I don't know. I'm kind of okay with you being in my way.
Willow: Well, I like you. You're nice and you're funny. And you don't smoke. Yeah, okay, werewolf, but that's not all the time. I mean, three days out of the month I'm not much fun to be around either.
Oz: You are quite the human.
Willow: So, I'd still if you'd still.
Oz: I'd still. I'd very still.
Willow: Okay. No biting, though.
Oz: Agreed. A werewolf in love.