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What's My Line? Part 2 Quotes
What's My Line? Part 2 Quotes

Buffy: Okay, one more time. You're the who?!
Kendra: I'm de Slayer.
Buffy: Nice cover story. But here's a tip: you might wanna try it on someone who's not the real Slayer.
Kendra: Ya can't stop me! Even if ya kill me, anodder Slayer will be sent to take me place.
Buffy: Could you stop with the Slayer thing? I'm the damn Slayer!
Kendra: Nonsense! Dere is but one, and I am she.
Buffy: Okay, a scenario. You back off, I'll back off, but you promise not to go all wiggy until we can go to my Watcher and figure this out.
Kendra: Wiggy?
Buffy: You know. No kick-o, no fight-o?
Kendra: I accept your scenario.
Buffy: So. You were sent here?
Kendra: Yes, by my Watcher.
Buffy: To do what, exactly?
Kendra: To do my duty. I am here to kill vampires.

Giles: And your Watcher is, i-is Sam Zabuto, you say?
Kendra: Yes, sir.
Giles: We've never met, but he, he's, he's very well-respected.
Buffy: What, so he's a real guy? As in non-fictional?
Giles: And you are called...?
Kendra: I am de Vampire Slayer.
Buffy: We got that part, hon. He means your name.
Kendra: Oh. Dey call me Kendra. I have no last name, sir.
Buffy: Can you say 'stuck in the 80's'?

Willow: Hey!
Kendra: Identify yourself!
Buffy: Back off, pink ranger! This is my friend.
Kendra: Friend?
Buffy: Yeah. As in person you hang with? Amigo?
Kendra: I don't understand.
Buffy: You try. I'm tapped.
Giles: Uh-uh, Kendra, uh, there are a-a-a few people, uh, ci-civilians if you like, who, who know Buffy's identity. Willow is one of them, a-a-and they also, um, spend time together, uh, socially.
Kendra: And you allow dis, sir?
Giles: Well, uh...
Kendra: But de Slayer must work in secret for security.
Giles: Of course, uh, but, uh, with Buffy, however, it-it's, um, some flexibility is required.

Buffy: Apparently there's been a really big mix-up.
Giles: Uh, it seems somehow that, uh, another Slayer has been sent to Sunnydale.
Willow: Is that even possible? I mean, two Slayers at the same time?
Giles: Not to my knowledge. Um, th-the new Slayer is only called after the previous Slayer has died. Uh... Oh, good Lord! You were dead, Buffy.
Buffy: I was only gone for a minute.
Giles: Clearly it doesn't matter how long you were gone. You were physically dead! Thus causing the activation of the, the next Slayer.
Kendra: She died?
Buffy: Just a little.
Giles: She drowned, but she was revived.
Willow: So there really are two of them!
Giles: It would seem so. This is completely unprecedented! I'm quite flummoxed.
Buffy: What's the flum? It's a mistake, she isn't supposed to be here, she goes home! Look, no offense, I really don't mean this personally, but I'm not dead, and frankly having you around creeps me out just a little bit.

Buffy: Then why the hell did you attack me?
Kendra: I tought you were a vampire.
Buffy: Oh, a swing and a miss for the rookie.
Kendra: I had good reason to tink you were. Did I not see you kissing a vampire?
Willow: Buffy would never do that! Oh. Except for that sometimes you do that. But only with Angel. Right?
Buffy: Yes! Right. Look, you saw me with Angel, and he is a vampire, but he's good.
Kendra: Angel? You mean Angelus? I've read about him. He is a monster.
Giles: No, no, no, he's, he's good now.
Kendra: Really!
Buffy: He had a gypsy curse.
Kendra: He has a what?
Buffy: Y'know what, just trust me on this one, okay? He's on the home team now.
Kendra: I cannot believe you. He looked to me just like anodder animal when I...
Buffy: When you what? What did you do to him?
Kendra: I...
Buffy: What did you do?!

Willy: What are you gonna do with him anyway?
Spike: I'm thinkin' maybe dinner and a movie. I don't want to rush into anything. I've been hurt, you know.

Cordelia: Do you have anything in raisin? I know you wouldn't think so, but I'm both a winter and a summer.
Norman: Nine ninety-nine, tax included.
Cordelia: You said that already. Do you have anything in the berry family?
Norman: Are there more ladies in the house?
Cordelia: Oh, no, they're not home. You know, nothing personal, but maybe you should look into selling dictionaries, or... some...

Xander: Find something to cover the crack under the door!
Cordelia: Uhh... Here! I don't do worms.

Kendra: No ashes.
Buffy: What?
Kendra: When a vampire combusts, he leaves ashes.
Buffy: Yeah, I know the drill.
Kendra: So I did not kill him.
Buffy: And I don't need to kill you.

Buffy: Doesn't anyone just say 'hello' where you come from?
Kendra: Dis one is dirty! I can feel it!
Buffy: That's really good for you, Percepto Girl, but we're not gonna get anything out of him if he's, oh, say, unconscious. Where's Angel?
Willy: My buddy Angel? You think I'd let him fry? I saved him in the nick! He was about five minutes away from being a crispy critter.
Buffy: Where'd he go?
Willy: Uh, he said he was gonna stay underground. You know, recuperate.
Buffy: Are you telling me the truth?
Willy: I swear on my mother's grave! Should something fatal happen to her, God forbid.
Kendra: Den he is alright. We can return to your Watcher for our orders.
Buffy: I don't take orders. I do things my way.
Kendra: No wonder you died.
Buffy: Let's go.
Willy: I, I have to ask. Has either of you girls considered modeling? I have a friend with a camera? Strictly high-class nude work. You know, art photographs. But naked. You don't have to answer right away.

Spike: Your sire, my sweet.
Drusilla: My Angel?
Spike: The one and only. Now all we need's the full moon tonight, and he will die, and you will be fully restored. My black goddess. My ripe, wicked plum. It's been...
Drusilla: Forever. Spike, let me have him. Hmm? Until the moon.
Spike: Alright, you can play, but don't kill him. He mustn't die till the ritual.
Drusilla: Bring him to me. You've been a very bad daddy.

Giles: Kendra, I-I've, uh, conferred with your Watcher, Mr. Zabuto, and, uh, we both agree that, uh, until this matter with Spike and Drusilla has been resolved that you two should work together.
Buffy: Oh, that'll be a treat.
Kendra: So, you believe dat Spike is attempting to revive dis Drusilla to health?
Giles: Yes, well, I-I-I-I think that's the, uh, the dark power that your, your Watcher re-referred to. You see, uh, you see Drusilla's not only evil, she's, uh, well, she's also quite mad, and-and-and-and if she's restored to her full health, then, uh, well, there's no, absolutely no telling what she might do.
Kendra: Den we will stop Spike.
Buffy: Ooo, good plan, let's go, charge!
Giles: Buffy...
Buffy: It's a little more complicated than that, John Wayne.
Giles: Yes, I'm, I'm afraid it is. You see, Spike has also called out the Order of Taraka to keep Buffy out of the way.
Kendra: De assassins? I read of dem in de writings of Dramius.
Giles: Oh, really? W-w-which volume?
Kendra: I believe it was six, sir.
Buffy: Um, how do you know all this?
Kendra: From me studies.
Buffy: So, obviously you have a lot of free time.
Kendra: I study because it is required. The Slayer handbook insists on it.
Willow: There's a Slayer handbook?
Buffy: Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?
Willow: Is there a T-shirt, too? 'Cause that would be cool...
Giles: After meeting you, Buffy, I realized that, uh, the handbook would be of no use in your case.
Buffy: Well, what do you mean it would be of no use in my case? Wha-what's wrong with my case?
Giles: Uh, Kendra, um, perhaps you'd like to show me the, the part in, uh, Dramius Six where, uh, uh, where it refers to the Order of Taraka. Really, I-I, I seem to have never been able to get through that book. It was a bit stodgy.
Kendra: It was difficult. All dose footnotes.
Buffy: Hello, and welcome to planet pocket protector.

Kendra: Buffy's a student here?
Giles: Yes.
Kendra: Riiight, of course. And I imagine she's a cheerleader as well.
Giles: Oh, no, well, a-a-actually she had to give up her cheerleading. Uh, it was quite an amusing story, actually.

Buffy: Get a load of the she-Giles.
Willow: Creepy.
Buffy: Ew. I'll bet Giles wishes I was more of a book geek.
Willow: Giles is enough of a book geek for the both of you.
Buffy: Yeah, but did you see how they were vibing? Volume six, ha, ha, ha!
Willow: Buffy, no one could replace you. You'll always be Giles' favorite.
Buffy: I wonder.
Willow: Of course, you will. You're his Slayer. The real Slayer.
Buffy: No. I wonder if it would be so bad, being replaced.
Willow: You mean, like, letting Kendra take over?
Buffy: Maybe. I mean, maybe after this thing with Spike and the assassins is over, I could say, 'Kendra, you slay, I'm going to Disneyland.'
Willow: But not forever, right?
Buffy: No, Disneyland would get boring after a few months. But I could do other stuff. Career day stuff. Maybe I could even have a normal life.

Xander: Could you sit down, or change your pattern or something? You're making me queasy.
Cordelia: Because you're just sitting there. You should be thinking up a plan.
Xander: I have a plan. We wait. Buffy saves us.
Cordelia: How will she even know where to find us?
Xander: Cordelia, this is Buffy's house. Odds are she'll find us.
Cordelia: Well, what if she doesn't? What am I supposed to do? Just waste away down here with you? Haw, haw, no thank you!
Xander: What are you doin'?
Cordelia: Going to see if he's gone!
Xander: That's brilliant! What if he isn't?
Cordelia: Oh, right! You think we should just slack here and hope that somebody else decides to be a hero? Sorry, forgot I was stranded with a LOSER!
Xander: And yet I never forgot that I'm stuck with the numb-brain that let Mr. Mutant in the house in the FIRST PLACE!
Cordelia: HE LOOKED NORMAL!
Xander: What, is he supposed to have an arrow with the word 'assassin' over his head?! All it took was the prospect of a free makeover, and you licked his hand like a big, dumb dog!
Cordelia: You know what? I'm going. I'd rather be worm food than look at your pathetic face!
Xander: Then go! I'm not stopping ya!
Cordelia: I bet you wouldn't! I bet you'd let a girl go off to her doom all by herself!
Xander: Not just any girl. You're special.
Cordelia: I can't believe that I'm stuck spending what will probably be my last few moments on Earth here WITH YOU!
Xander: I hope these are my last few moments! Three more seconds with you, and I'm gonna...
Cordelia: I'm gonna what? Coward!
Xander: Moron!
Cordelia: I hate you!
Xander: I HATE YOU! ...We so need to get outta here.
Cordelia: Mm-hm!

Buffy: Hey, Will, don't look, okay, but... No, don't look! That guy over there is totally checking you out.
Willow: Oh, that's Oz. He's expressing computer nerd solidarity.
Buffy: Really? Then why is he on his way over here right now? Told you!

Willow: Hey! Your hair! Is brown!
Oz: Oh, yeah, sometimes. So, uh, did you decide? Are you gonna be a Corporate Computer Suit Guy?
Willow: Oh. Uh, well, I-I think I'm gonna finish high school first. What about you?
Oz: I'm not really a computer person, you know. Or a work of any kind person.
Willow: They why'd they select you?
Oz: Oh, I sorta test well. Y'know, which is cool. E-except that it leads to jobs.
Willow: Well, don't you have some ambition?
Oz: Oh, yeah! Yeah. E-flat, diminished ninth.
Willow: Huh?
Oz: Well, the E-flat, it's, it's doable, but that diminished ninth, y'know, it's a man's chord. Now, you could lose a finger.

Buffy: How is he?
Willow: He's shot! Are you okay?
Oz: I, uh, I'm shot! Y'know. Wow! It's odd! And painful.

Xander: Who sponsored career day today? The British Soccer Fan Association?
Giles: We had a, a rather violent visit from the Order of Taraka.
Xander: You wanna talk Order of Taraka? We just met the king freak of the... Hello.
Giles: Oh, forgive me. Uh, Xander, Cordelia, this is Kendra. Uh, i-it's rather complicated, but she's also a Slayer.
Cordelia: Hi. Nice to meet you.
Xander: A Slayer, huh? I knew this 'I'm the only one, I'm the only one' thing was just an attention-getter.
Buffy: Just say hello, Xander.
Xander: Welcome. So! You're a Slayer, huh? I like that in a woman.
Kendra: Uh... I hope... I tank you... I mean, sir, um... I will be of service.
Xander: Great! Good. It's good to be a giver.

Buffy: You and bug people, Xander. What's up with that?
Xander: No, but this dude was completely different than praying mantis lady. He was a man of bugs, not a man who was a bug.

Buffy: They need Drusilla's sire. You mean the vamp that made her?
Giles: Yes.
Willow: Buffy, what is it?
Buffy: Angel. He's Drusilla's sire.
Xander: Man, that guy got major neck in his day!

Kendra: Angel? But our priority is to stop Drusilla!
Xander: Angel's our friend! Except I don't like him.
Buffy: Look, you've got your priorities, and I've got mine. Right now they mesh. So, are you gonna help me, or are you gonna get out of my way?
Kendra: I'm wit you.
Buffy: Good. 'Cause I've had it. Spike is going down. You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend!

Giles: There are forty-three churches in Sunnydale? That seems a little excessive.
Willow: It's the extra evil vibe from the Hellmouth. Makes people pray harder.

Kendra: And dose two, dey also know you are de Slayer?
Buffy: Yep.
Kendra: Did anyone explain to you what 'secret identity' means?
Buffy: Nope. Must be in the handbook. Right after the chapter on personality removal. Be careful with that thing!
Kendra: Please. I'm an expert in all weapons.
Giles: Is everything alright?
Buffy: Yeah, it's okay. Kendra killed the bad lamp.
Kendra: Sorry! Dis, uh, trigger mechanism is different. Perhaps when dis is over you can, uh, show me how to work it.
Buffy: When this is over I'm thinking pineapple pizza and teen video movie fest. Possibly something from the Ringwald oeuvre.

Xander: Oh, here we go! I am the bug man, coo coo ka choo.

Xander: Okay. Okay. He can only be killed when he's in his disassembled state. Disassembled. That means when he's broken down into his liiittle buggy parts.
Cordelia: I know what it means, dorkhead.
Xander: Dorkhead! You slash me with your words!

Kendra: Your life is very different dan mine.
Buffy: You mean the part where I occasionally have one? Yeah, I guess it is.
Kendra: De tings you do and have, I was taught, distract from my calling. Friends, school... even family.
Buffy: Even family?
Kendra: My parents, dey sent me to my Watcher when I was very young.
Buffy: How young?
Kendra: I don't remember dem, actually. I've seen pictures. But, uh, dat's how seriously de calling is taken by my people. My modder and fadder gave me to my Watcher because dey believed dat dey were doing de right ting for me, and for de world. Please, I don't feel sorry for meself. Why should you?
Buffy: I don't know, I... I guess it just sounds very lonely.
Kendra: Emotions are weakness, Buffy. You shouldn't entertain dem.
Buffy: Kendra, my emotions give me power. They're total assets!
Kendra: Maybe. For you. But I prefer to keep an even mind.
Buffy: Mm. I guess that explains it.
Kendra: Explains what?
Buffy: Oh, well, when we were fighting, uh, you're amazing! Your technique, it's flawless, it's, hmm, better than mine.
Kendra: I know.
Buffy: Still, I woulda kicked your butt in the end. And ya know why? No imagination.
Kendra: Really? Ya tink so?
Buffy: Oh, I know so. You're good, but power alone isn't enough. A good fighter needs to know how to improvise, to go with the flow. Uh-uh, seriously, don't get me wrong, y-you really do have potential.
Kendra: Potential? I could wipe de floor wit you right now!
Buffy: That would be anger you're feeling.
Kendra: What?
Buffy: You feel it, right? How the anger gives you fire? A Slayer needs that.

Buffy: I'm guessing dating isn't big with your Watcher either.
Kendra: I'm not permitted to speak with boys.
Buffy: Unless you're pummeling them. Wait a minute.
Kendra: What?
Buffy: That guy! The sleazoid you nearly decked in the bar.
Kendra: You tink he might help us?
Buffy: I tink we might make him!

Spike: Pft! I'll see him die soon enough. I've never been much for the pre-show.
Angel: Too bad. That's what Drusilla likes best, as I recall.
Spike: What's that supposed to mean?
Angel: Ask her. She knows what I mean.
Spike: Well?
Drusilla: Shhh! Grrrruff! Bad dog.
Angel: You shoulda let me talk to him, Dru. Sounds like your boy could use some pointers. She likes to be teased.
Spike: Keep your hole shut!
Angel: Take care of her, Spike. The way she touched me just now? I can tell when she's not satisfied.
Spike: I said SHUT UP!
Angel: Or maybe you two just don't have the fire we had.
Spike: That's enough.
Drusilla: Spike, no! Shhh.
Spike: Oh! Right. Right, you almost got me! Aren't you a 'throw himself to the lions' sort of sap these days. Well, the lions are on to you, baby. See, if I kill you now you go quick, and Dru hasn't got a chance. And if Dru dies your little Rebecca of Sunnyhell Farm and all her mates are spared her coming-out party.
Drusilla: Spike, the moon is rising. It's time.
Spike: Too bad, Angelus. Looks like you go the hard way. Along with the rest of this miserable town.

Spike: Who the hell is this?!
Buffy: It's your lucky day, Spike.
Kendra: Two Slayers!
Buffy: No waiting!

Xander: Hey, larvae boy! Yeah, that's right, I'm talkin' to you, ya big cootie! Welcome, my little pretties!

Kendra: Dat's me favrit shirt! Dat's me only shirt!

Oz: Oh, hey! Animal cracker?
Willow: No, thank you. How's your arm?
Oz: Suddenly painless.
Willow: You can still play the guitar okay?
Oz: Oh, not well, but not worse.
Willow: Y'know, I never really thanked you.
Oz: Ooo, yeah, please don't. I don't do thanks. I get all red. Have to bail. It's not pretty.
Willow: Well, then forget that thing. E-especially with the part where I kind of owe you my life.
Oz: Oh, look! Monkey! And he has a little hat. And little pants.
Willow: Yeah, I-I see!
Oz: The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that? You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen. So, I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going, 'Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!' And you know the monkey's just, 'I mock you with my monkey pants!' And there's a big coup in the zoo.
Willow: The monkey is French?
Oz: All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?
Willow: No.

Xander: Okay, uh-uh-uh... here's the deal. We don't have to run every time we see each other in the hall.
Cordelia: Right. Okay. Why shouldn't we run?
Xander: What happened, there's a total explanation for it.
Cordelia: You're a pervert?
Xander: Me?
Cordelia: Yeah!
Xander: No-no-no-no! I seem to recall I was the jumpee, my friend!
Cordelia: As if! You've probably been planning this for months!
Xander: Right, I hired a Latvian bug man to kill Buffy so I could kiss you. I hate to burst your bubble, but you don't inspire me to spring for a dinner over at Bucky's Fondue Hut.
Cordelia: Fine! Whatever. You know, the point is: don't try it again!
Xander: I didn't try it! Forget about the bugs, okay? The memory of your lips on mine makes my blood run cold.
Cordelia: If you dare breathe a word of this...
Xander: Like I want anyone to know!
Cordelia: Then it's erased!
Xander: Never happened!
Cordelia: Good!
Xander: Good!
Cordelia: Good!

Kendra: Tank you for de shirt, it was very generous of you.
Buffy: Hey, it looks better on... well, me, but no worries. Now, when you get to the airport...
Kendra: I get on de plane with me ticket, and sit in a seat. Not de cargo hold.
Buffy: Very good.
Kendra: Dat is not traveling under cover.
Buffy: Exactly. Relax! You earned it. Sit in your seat, you eat your peanuts, you watch the movie, well, unless it's about a dog or Chevy Chase.
Kendra: I'll remember.
Buffy: I, um... I just wanted to thank you... for helping me save Angel.
Kendra: Mm. Am not tellin' me Watcher about dat. It is too strange dat a Slayer loves a vampire.
Buffy: Tell me about it.
Kendra: Still, he is pretty cute.
Buffy: Well, maybe they won't fire me for dating him.
Kendra: You always do dat.
Buffy: Do what?
Kendra: You talk about slaying like it's a job. It's not. It's who you are.
Buffy: Did you get that from your handbook?
Kendra: From you.
Buffy: I guess it's something I really can't fight. I'm a freak.
Kendra: Not de only freak.
Buffy: Not anymore.
Kendra: I don't hug.
Buffy: Right. No. Good. Hate hugs.


The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It's, it's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it.
-Giles (I Only Have Eyes For You)


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