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Life Serial Quotes
Life Serial Quotes

Willow: I'm a breast girl myself. But, then again, you knew that.

Warren: She's ready.
Jonathan: Sweet. Run me through it.
Warren: Ah. We got nine high-resolution surveillance cameras hooked in, super-wide angle, infrared, auto-iris, plus six types of audio matrix monitoring... that's filtered through a dual quad DVS system, and a...
Jonathan: Yeah, yeah, fine, just tell me. Are you sure with all of this stuff that we'll be able to watch Buffy without her noticing us?
Warren: Absolutely. I mean, she'll never even know- w-what the hell is that?
Andrew: Death Star, dude! Wicked, huh?
Jonathan: Thermal exhaust port's above the main port, numb-nuts.
Andrew: For your information, I'm using the Empire's revised designs from Return of the Jedi.
Jonathan: That's a flawed design!
Warren: Guys! Okay, the thing is, since we're messing with the Slayer, who could pummel the three of us into a sludgy substance, it might be a good idea for us to not draw attention to ourselves!
Andrew: I could paint over it if you want.
Warren: Yeah, well, do that! Because this time tomorrow, the games begin. And the Slayer... will never even know what hit her.

Willow: You'll like Mike.
Buffy: You call your teacher Mike? Boy, school sure has changed since my day.

Willow: You're not dumb. Just rusty.
Buffy: Maybe I should ease back in with some non-taxing classes, like, introduction to pies, or maybe advanced walking.

Xander: It's just a temp gig, Buff. You know, unless it tanks. Since you're not union, I had to call in a few favors to get you on a crew.
Buffy: Well, I appreciate it. Muchly. You saved me from having to accept Giles' offer to work at the Magic Box. I mean, retail? Yeee. I'd rather be dead. Again.

Buffy: Maybe it was lint. Maybe it was evil lint!
Xander: Okay, first tip of the day. When I introduce you to Tony the foreman? You might wanna leave out stuff about blacking out and evil lint.

Warren: Ah! Got visual of subject, four o'clock.
Jonathan: That's not four o'clock.
Warren: Well, it is if you're facing the front of the van.
Jonathan: But we're not facing the front of the van, we're facing out that way. That's twelve, so she's at two o'clock.
Warren: Look, she's over there, okay?

Warren: This is so dull I might actually have fallen asleep and be dreaming you guys.
Andrew: Why is the Slayer here anyway? She's a student, she's a construction worker, and... now she's some kind of... selling stuff person?
Warren: It's like she's completely without focus. Should we check the other channels for free cable porn?

Jonathan: I need you to hold hands.
Andrew: With each other?
Warren: Well, you know what homophobia really means about you, don't you?

Jonathan: Stop touching my magic bone!

Buffy: And you get the dagger of Lex for free with it! See the inlaid mother-of-pearl... underneath the black oozing goo?
Female Customer: This hand is dead. The power is gone, I'm not giving you money for this!
Buffy: Oh, it's just playing dead. Little scamp.

Anya: Go help the lady who just came in.
Buffy: Wait-
Anya: Don't worry, don't be nervous. Do what I do, just picture yourself naked.

Warren: Smart. She's figuring out the game. Satisfy the customer. Well, she might just have you beat there, Stretch.
Jonathan: No way. It hasn't even started yet.
Andrew: I just hope she solves it faster than Data did on the ep of TNG where the Enterprise kept blowing up.
Warren: Or Mulder, in that X-Files where the bank kept exploding.
Andrew: Scully wants me so bad.

Giles: Buffy, a word in your ear. Um, if you, uh, think of the store as a, as a library, (cleaning glasses) it'll help you to, to, uh, concentrate on, on... service rather than selling.
Buffy: Yes. And then I'm going to marry Bob Dole and raise penguins in Guam.
Giles: Yes, uh, quite, quite, yes.

Buffy: Ya like slug? Go with slug. She's not gonna sleep with you anyway.

Warren: This mummy hand has ceased to be!
Andrew: It is an ex-mummy hand!

Buffy: Life is stupid.
Spike: I have a dim memory of that, yeah. And I didn't figure you were here cadging my whiskey 'cause life's all full of blood and peaches.

Buffy: You play for kittens?!
Spike: So, who's gonna advance me a tiny tabby, get me started? Come on, someone's gotta stake me.
Buffy: I'll do it! ...What, you thought I was just gonna let that lie there?

Andrew: We are really super-villains now, like... like Dr. No.
Warren: Yeah, back when Bond was Connery, and movies were decent.
Jonathan: Who remembers Connery? I mean, Roger Moore was smooth.
Warren: You're insane. You're short, and you're insane.
Andrew: I like Timothy Dalton! Hey!
Warren: Don't make me pull over, okay?

Spike: You wanna fight? You face the two of us.
Buffy: What? I'm not getting into a bar fight! I'll beat 'em up for information, great, but not to defend your right to gamble for kittens! Which, by the way, is stupid currency.
Green Demon: They're delicious!

Spike: What's wrong, luv?
Buffy: What's wrong?! You were gonna help me! You, you were gonna beat heads and, and, and fix my life! But you're completely lame! Tonight sucks! And, and look at me! Look at, look at stupid Buffy! Too dumb for college, and, and, and freak Buffy, too strong for construction work. And, and my job at the magic shop? I was bored to tears even before the hour that wouldn't end! And the only person I can even stand to be around is a... neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker.
Spike: Oh, you saw the cheating, did you.
Buffy: Also? I think you're drunk.

Warren: Connery is Bond. He had style.
Jonathan: Yeah, but Roger Moore was funny.
Warren: Moonraker? The gondola turns into a hovercraft? It's retarded. Besides, the guy had, like, no edge.
Andrew: Dalton had edge. In Licence to Kill he was a rogue agent. That's edgy. And he was amazing in The Living Daylights.
Jonathan: Yeah, which was written for Roger Moore, not Timothy Dalton!
Warren: Okay, this is stupid! We're wasting time. End of discussion. I mean, there's a shot of like pigeons, doing double-takes when the gondola blasted by!
Moonraker... is inexcusable.

Warren: Connery is the only actor of the bunch.
Andrew: Timothy Dalton should get an Oscar and beat Sean Connery over the head with it!

Andrew: Oh, she's coming over here! What do we do?
Warren: Jonathan, grab your magic bone.

Jonathan: Ohh, next time I do that spell, one of you guys has to look like the demon.
Andrew: The Slayer touched you.
Jonathan: Yeah, it was sexy the way she touched me real hard with her fists. I only looked big. I actually had the proportional strength of... uh... me.
Warren: Guys, think about this. We took on the Slayer. I mean, we've got all kinds of stuff in the computer now... speed, strength, reaction time... we're getting what we need to really become a threat to her. We tested her, faced her... and we survived.
Jonathan: Unless I have internal injuries that will eventually kill me.
Andrew: Oh, of course, but barring that, Warren's right. We did good!
Warren: The Trio... versus the Slayer. It's not over.
Andrew: Plus, look what Warren and me discovered by accident before we drove away!
Jonathan: What?
Andrew/Warren/Jonathan: Free cable porn!

Giles: Feel any better?
Buffy: I think at one point, I actually turned completely inside out.

Buffy: I don't... really know how to say this... but it's a little like having Mom back.
Giles: In this scenario, I am your mother?
Buffy: Wanna be my shiftless absentee father?
Giles: Is there some sort of, um, rakish uncle?
Buffy: I'm just saying... Thank you. So much. I'm gonna... show this to Dawn. She loves it when things get easy. I just... wanna tell you... that, um... this... makes me feel safe. Knowing you're always gonna be here.

The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

You think you know... what's to come... what you are. You haven't even begun.
-Tara (Restless)

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