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Lie to Me Quotes
Lie to Me Quotes

Drusilla: My Angel!
Angel: Hello, Drusilla.
Drusilla: Do you remember the song mummy used to sing me? Pretty.
Angel: I remember.
Drusilla: Yes, you do.
Angel: Drusilla, leave here. I'm offering you that chance. Take Spike and get out.
Drusilla: Or you'll hurt me? No. No, you can't. Not anymore.
Angel: If you don't leave it'll go badly. For all of us.
Drusilla: My dear boy's gone all away, hasn't he? To her.
Angel: Who?
Drusilla: The girl. The Slayer. Your heart stinks of her. Poor little thing. She has no idea what's in store.
Angel: This can't go on, Drusilla. It's gotta end.
Drusilla: Oh, no, my pet. This is just the beginning.

Jenny: It's a secret!
Giles: What kind of a secret?
Jenny: Uh, the kind that's secret. You know, where I don't actually tell you what it is.
Giles: I think it's customary that when two people are going out on an evening that they, they both have an idea of where they're going.
Jenny: Oh, come on! Where is your sense of adventure?
Giles: Well, I, I... Uh, how will I know what to wear?
Jenny: Do you own anything else?
Giles: Uh, w-well, not as such, no, um...
Jenny: Rupert, you're gonna have to trust me.
Giles: Alright, alright, I p-put myself in your hands.

Cordelia: I just don't see why everyone's always picking on Marie Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good, and people just don't appreciate that kind of effort. And I know the peasants were all depressed...
Xander: I think you mean 'oppressed'.
Cordelia: Whatever. They were cranky. So they're, like, 'Let's lose some heads'. Uhhh! That's fair. And, and Marie Antoinette cared about them. She was gonna let them have cake!
Teacher: Yes, well, that's a very interesting perspective.

Buffy: I don't know. I don't think so. They seemed pretty friendly.
Xander: Who's friendly?
Buffy: No one.
Willow: Angel and a girl.
Buffy: Willow, do we have to be in total share mode?
Xander: Hey, it's me. If Angel's doing somethin' wrong, I wanna know. 'Cause it gives me a happy!

Xander: Aw, you just need cheering up. And I know just the thing! Crazed dance party at the Bronze!
Buffy: I dunno.
Xander: Very calm dance party at the Bronze? Moping at the Bronze.
Ford: I'd suggest a box of Oreos dunked in apple juice, but maybe she's over that phase.

Willow: So, you two were sweeties in fifth grade?
Buffy: Not even. Ford wouldn't give me the time of day.
Ford: Well, I was a manly sixth-grader. I couldn't bother with someone that young.
Buffy: It was terrible. I moped over you for months. Sitting in my room listening to that Divinyls song 'I Touch Myself'. Of course, I had no idea what it was about. Hey, are you busy tonight? We're going to the Bronze, it's the local club, and you have to come.
Ford: I'd love to! But if you guys already had plans... Would I be imposing?
Xander: No, only in the literal sense.

Xander: This is Ford, my bestest friend of all my friends! Jeez, doesn't she know any fat guys?
Willow: Oh, that's what that song is about?!

Willow: Buffy, Ford was just telling us about the ninth grade beauty contest, and the, uh, swimsuit competition.
Buffy: Oh, my God, Ford, stop that! The more people you tell, the more people I have to kill.
Ford: You can't touch me, Summers. I know all your darkest secrets.
Xander: Care to make a small wager on that?
Buffy: I'm gonna go get a drink. Ford, try not to talk.

Willow: That's Angel.
Xander: He's Buffy's beau. Her special friend.
Ford: He's not in school, right? He looks older than her.
Xander: You're not wrong.

Buffy: This is Ford. We went to school together in L.A.
Angel: Nice to meet you.
Ford: Whoa! Cold hands!
Xander: You're not wrong.

Ford: What's goin' on?
Buffy: Um... uh, there was a, a cat. A cat here, and, um, then there was a-another cat... and they fought. The cats. And... then they left.
Ford: Oh. I thought you were just slaying a vampire.
Buffy: What? Whating a what?
Ford: I know, Buffy. You don't have to lie. I-I've been trying to figure out the right time to, to tell you. I know you're the Slayer.

Willow: Oh! Angel! What are you doing here?
Angel: I wanted to talk to you.
Willow: Oh, well... Well?
Angel: I can't. Unless you invite me, I can't come in.
Willow: Oh! Well, okay, I invite you. To come in.
Angel: I-if this is a bad time, I...
Willow: No! I just... I'm not supposed to have boys in my room.
Angel: I promise to behave myself.
Willow: Okay. Good.
Angel: I guess I need help.
Willow: Help? You mean like on homework? No, 'cause you're old and you already know stuff.
Angel: I want you to track someone down. On the 'Net.
Willow: Oh! Great! I'm so the 'Net girl.

Willow: Uh, Angel? If I say something you really don't wanna hear, do you promise not to bite me?
Angel: Are you gonna tell me that I'm jealous?
Willow: Well, you do sometimes get that way.
Angel: You know, I never used to. Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feelin' guilty... I really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along. Yeah, I get jealous. But I know people. And my gut tells me this is a wrong guy.

Buffy: Okay, Will, fess up.
Willow: What?
Buffy: Are you drinking coffee again? 'Cause we've talked about this.
Willow: It makes me jumpy. I have to go. Away.
Ford: Nice girl!
Buffy: There aren't two of those in the world.

Giles: Buffy! Um... Yes, uh... Ms. Calendar and I are going... somewhere tonight, and she's given, oh, given me the number of her beeper thingy, uh, in case you need me for, um... study help, uh, suddenly.
Buffy: He knows, Giles.
Giles: What?
Buffy: Ford knows I'm the Slayer.
Ford: I know.
Giles: Oh! Uh, very good, yes. Uh, um, Buffy... Excuse me. You are not, by any chance, betraying your secret identity just to impress, um, cute boys, are you?
Buffy: I didn't tell him. He knew.
Giles: Oh! Uh, right then. Well, uh, just remember, if you...
Buffy: Go! Experience this thing called fun. I'll try not to have a crisis.

Willow: The only thing I could track down was this address. The Sunset Club. Still didn't find anything incriminating.
Angel: He leaves no paper trail, no records, that's incriminating enough.
Xander: Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one.
Angel: Could you not call me that?

Willow: Boy, we blend right in.
Xander: In no way do we stick out like sore thumbs.
Angel: Let's look around. You guys check out downstairs.
Xander: Sure thing, Bossy the cow!
Willow: Okay, but do they really stick out?
Xander: What?
Willow: Sore thumbs. Do they stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, 'Wow! That baby is sore!'
Xander: You have too many thoughts.

Xander: Are you probably noticing a theme here?
Willow: As in 'Vampires! Yay!'?
Xander: That's the one.

Chantarelle: You guys are newbies. I can tell.
Willow: Oh, no. We come here all the time.
Chantarelle: Don't be ashamed! It's cool that you're open to it. We welcome anyone who's interested in the Lonely Ones.
Willow: The Lonely Ones?
Angel: Vampires.
Xander: Oh! We usually call them the nasty, pointy, bitey ones.
Chantarelle: So many people have that misconception. But they who walk with the night are not interested in harming anyone. They are creatures above us. Exalted!
Angel: You're a fool.
Chantarelle: You don't have to be so confrontational about it. Other viewpoints than yours may be valid, you know.
Willow: Nice meeting you.
Xander: You really are a people person.
Willow: Now nobody's gonna talk to us.
Angel: I've seen enough. I've seen this type before. I mean, they're children making up bedtime stories of friendly vampires to comfort themselves in the dark.
Willow: Is that so bad? I mean, the dark can get pretty dark. Sometimes you need a story.
Angel: These people don't know anything about vampires. What they are, how they live, how they dress...

Buffy: Sorry to beep you guys in the middle of... stuff, but it seemed really weird.
Giles: No, you did the right thing. Absolutely.
Jenny: You hated it that much?
Giles: No! But, but, uh, vampires on campus is, could have implications. Very, very grave...
Jenny: You coulda just said something.
Giles: Uh, honestly, I, I've always, I've always been interested in, in, uh, monster trucks.
Buffy: You took him to monster trucks?
Jenny: I thought it would be a change!
Giles: It was a change.
Jenny: Look, we could've just left.
Giles: Wha-what, and miss the nitro-burning funny cars? No, couldn't have that.

Buffy: Who's this?
Giles: Um, she's called Drusilla, a sometime paramour of Spike's. She was killed by an angry mob in Prague.
Buffy: Well, they don't make angry mobs like they used to, 'cause this girl's alive. I saw her with Angel.
Giles: With Angel?
Jenny: Isn't he supposed to be a good guy?
Buffy: Yeah. He is.

Giles: A book! It took one of my books!
Jenny: Well, at least someone in this school is reading.
Buffy: He said he killed it. That's the vampire Ford said he killed.

Spike: Darling! I heard a funny thing just now. Lucius tells me that you went out on a hunt the other night.
Drusilla: My tummy was growly. And you were out. Come on. I'll pout if you don't sing.
Spike: You, um, meet anyone? Anyone interesting? Like Angel?
Drusilla: Angel.
Spike: Yeah. So... What might you guys have talked about, then? Old times? Childhood pranks? It's a little off, you two so friendly, him being the enemy and all that.
Drusilla: I'll give you a seed if you sing.
Spike: The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in a cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one. Oh, I'm sorry baby. I'm a bad, rude man. I just don't like you goin' out, that's all. You are weak.

Spike: Do I have anyone on watch here? It's called security, people. Are you all asleep? Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers?
Ford: I know who you are.
Spike: Yeah, I know who I am, too. So what?
Ford: I came looking for you, Spike. You are Spike, right? William the Bloody?
Spike: You've got a real death wish. It's almost interesting.

Spike: Well?
Ford: Oh, c'mon! Say it! It's no fun if you don't say it.
Spike: What? Oh. You've got thirty seconds to convince me not to kill you.
Ford: Yes! See, this is the best! I wanna be like you. A vampire.
Spike: I've known you for two minutes, and I can't stand you. I don't really feature you livin' forever. Can I eat him now, love?
Ford: Well, feature this: I'm offering you a trade. You make me a vampire, and I give you the Slayer.

Angel: Buffy. May I come in?
Buffy: Sure. I thought once you were invited you could always just walk in.
Angel: I can. I was just being polite.

Buffy: Who's Drusilla? And don't lie to me. I'm tired of it.
Angel: Some lies are necessary.
Buffy: For what?
Angel: Sometimes the truth is worse. You live long enough, you find that out.
Buffy: I can take it. I can take the truth.
Angel: Do you love me?
Buffy: What?
Angel: Do you?
Buffy: I love you. I don't know if I trust you.
Angel: Maybe you shouldn't do either.
Buffy: Maybe I'm the one who should decide!
Angel: I did a lot of unconscionable things when I became a vampire. Drusilla was the worst. She was... an obsession of mine. She was pure and sweet and chaste...
Buffy: And you made her a vampire.
Angel: First I made her insane. Killed everybody she loved. Visited every mental torture on her I could devise. She eventually fled to a convent, and on the day she took her holy orders, I turned her into a demon.
Buffy: Well. I asked for the truth.

Xander: Angel was in your bedroom?
Willow: Ours is a forbidden love.

Buffy: I'm sorry, Ford. I just couldn't wait till tonight! I'm rash and impulsive. It's a flaw.
Ford: We all have flaws.
Buffy: I'm still a little fuzzy on exactly what yours is. I think it has to do with being a lying scumbag.

Chantarelle: This is a beautiful day. Can't you see that?
Buffy: What I see is that, right after the sun goes down, Spike and all of his friends are going to be pigging out at the all-you-can-eat moron bar.
Diego: Okay, that's it. I think we should gag her.
Buffy: I think you should try.
Diego: She's an unbeliever. She taints us.
Buffy: I am trying to save you! You are playing in some serious traffic here! Do you understand that? You're going to die! And the only hope you have of surviving this is to get out of this pit right now, and, my God, could you have a dorkier outfit?

Ford: Hey, you never give up, do you?
Buffy: No, I don't.
Ford: That's a good quality in a person. Too many people, they just lay back and take it, but us...
Buffy: Us? We have something in common now?
Ford: More than you think.
Buffy: Yeah, well, let me explain something to you. You're what we call the bad guy.
Ford: I guess I am!
Buffy: These people aren't gonna get changed, are they? The rest of them, they're just fodder.
Ford: Technically, yes. But I'm in. I will become immortal.
Buffy: Well, I've got a news flash for you, braintrust: that's not how it works. You die, and a demon sets up shop in your old house, and it walks, and it talks, and it remembers your life, but it's not you.
Ford: It's better than nothing.
Buffy: And your life is nothing? Ford, these people don't deserve to die!
Ford: Well, neither do I! But apparently no one took that into consideration, 'cause I'm still dying. I look good, don't I? Well, let me tell you something: I've got maybe six months left, and by then what they bury won't even look like me. It'll be bald and shriveled and it'll smell bad. No, I'm not going out that way. I'm sorry, Summers. Did I screw up your righteous anger riff? Does the nest of tumors liquefying my brain kinda spoil the fun?
Buffy: I'm sorry. I had no idea. But what you're doing is still very wrong.
Ford: Okay, well, you try vomiting for twenty-four hours straight because the pain in your head is so intense, and then we'll discuss the concept of right and wrong. These people are sheep. They wanna be vampires 'cause they're lonely, miserable or bored. I don't have a choice.
Buffy: You have a choice. You don't have a good choice, but you have a choice! You're opting for mass murder here, and nothing you say is gonna make that okay!
Ford: You think I need to justify myself to you?
Buffy: I think this is all part of your little fantasy drama! Isn't this exactly how you imagined it? You tell me how you've suffered and I feel sorry for you. Well, I do feel sorry for you, and if those vampires come in here and start feeding, I'll kill you myself!
Ford: You know what, Summers? I really did miss you.

Spike: Everybody STOP!
Buffy: Good idea. Now you let everyone out, or your girlfriend fits in an ashtray.

Buffy: I don't know what I'm supposed to say.
Giles: You needn't say anything.
Buffy: It'd be simpler if I could just hate him. I think he wanted me to. I think it made it easier for him to be the villain of the piece. Really he was just scared.
Giles: Yes, I suppose he was.
Buffy: Nothing's ever simple anymore. I'm constantly trying to work it out. Who to love or hate. Who to trust. It's just, like, the more I know, the more confused I get.
Giles: I believe that's called growing up.
Buffy: I'd like to stop then, okay?
Giles: I know the feeling.
Buffy: Does it ever get easy?
Giles: You mean life?
Buffy: Yeah. Does it get easy?
Giles: What do you want me to say?
Buffy: Lie to me.
Giles: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.
Buffy: Liar.


The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

The first day of kindergarten, you cried because you broke the yellow crayon, and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You've come pretty far, ending the world - not a terrific notion. But the thing is, yeah, I love you. I love crayon-breaky Willow, and I love scary-veiny Willow. So if I'm going out, it's here. If you want to kill the world... well, then, start with me. I've earned that.
-Xander (Grave)


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Buffy the Vampire Slayer - The Chosen Collection (Seasons 1-7) BtVS - The Chosen Collection (Seasons 1-7)


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