Into the Woods Quotes
Into the Woods Quotes
Willow: What time is it?
Xander: There's a clock behind you, Will.
Willow: I know, but there's a watch right above your hand.
Dawn: When I was younger, I used to put my chopsticks in my mouth like this, and then Buffy would chase me around the house yelling, 'I'm the slayer, I'm going to get you!'
Anya: That's disturbing. You're emotionally scarred and will end up badly.
Dawn: No, it was great. I mean, she didn't actually stake me in the heart, you know.
Xander: Buffy's pretty cool like that.
Anya: Well, we could play that game again, Life. That was fun.
Dawn: For you. You always win.
Anya: Well... we can make a wager this time. You can give me real money. That would be different.
Xander: And after we teach her to gamble, maybe we can all get drunk!
Anya: I don't think the bar would serve her, but we could bring something in. Strawberry schnapps taste just like real ice cream.
Anya: We have to see the chimp playing hockey! That's hilarious! The ice is so slippery, and, and monkeys are all irrational. We have to see this.
Xander: You pick, Dawn. This is your night. We are celebrating your mom's good news.
Anya: Go monkey. Choose monkey.
Dawn: It's okay. You guys don't have to make a big deal for me. I'm only sleeping over here so Buffy and Riley can boink.
Xander: No, that's not, that's not it at all, they just need time to, uh... be tender. Relax."
Anya: He's not very convincing, is he?
Dawn: 'Alone time' always translates into 'get Dawn out of the house so we can have loud obnoxious sex.'
Anya: Oh, does that mean we can't?
Joyce: I don't know, Buffy. I think I'll look like I have a cat on my head.
Buffy: But a very well-groomed cat.
Joyce: I think maybe I'll... stick with a scarf.
Buffy: Come on, wigs are fun. We can get you a whole bunch of different ones. You know, you can be, like, Sixties Mom, Action Mom... French Maid Mom...
Joyce: I must be getting better, 'cause you're making fun of me.
Buffy: I gave Riley the day off.
Joyce: I don't think he thinks of you as a chore, Buffy.
Buffy: I know that. Look, I told him to make plans with his friends because I wanted to have you all to myself, okay? Besides, I can see him any time. And I'm sure he'll come over later looking for a little... bible study.
Joyce: Well, good. I mean, just as long as the two of you are spending some quality time with... the lord.
Buffy: We are. Absolutely.
Buffy: Every time you show up like this, you risk all of your parts, you know that?
Spike: I wouldn't be here if I didn't have a good reason. As usual, I'm here to help you, and I - are you naked under there?
Buffy: Get out.
Spike: No, I'm serious. I mean, not about the naked part, I mean...
Buffy: Get out or I will drop you out head-first.
Spike: I wanna show you something.
Spike: You need to see this.
Giles: And so it begins. No longer a victim of crass holiday commercialization, I'm... a purveyor of it.
Anya: Oh. Who ordered more chickens' feet? The ones we have aren't moving at all.
Xander: That's generally what happens when you cut them off the chicken.
Anya: I'm serious. Maybe we could do a... holiday promotion. One free with every purchase!
Giles: Oh, yeah. Dear holiday memories. Merry tykes by the fire, enjoying their new Christmas... chicken feet.
Willow: Aw, holding them tight as they fall asleep. Painting their little toenails.
Anya: That's so very humorous. Make fun of the ex-demon! I can just hear you in private. 'I dislike that Anya. She's newly human and strangely literal.'
Willow: Anya, I don't say that. No one says that. No one talks that way.
Anya: There's nothing wrong with my idea anyway. I've been very good for this store. If it wasn't for me, Giles would be a terrified old man staring at a quarterly tax statement and wetting himself.
Giles: I say, that's an exaggeration.
Willow: Anya, you've helped out a lot, but I have too.
Anya: Yes, I forgot about all the vigorous sitting around.
Xander: Anya, you can back off a little. You get paid. Willow's doing this on her own time.
Anya: I'm sorry, Willow. Thank you for making time in your busy life to come in here and get in the way of mine.
Xander: Anya, play nice.
Anya: You know, fine, take her side instead of mine even though I'm the one who sleeps with you and feeds you, bathes you...
Willow: She bathes you?
Xander: Only in an erotic, Penthouse-y way, not in a sponge-bath-y geriatric sort of...
Giles: Please! Stop, I beg of you.
Willow: Who would pay to get bitten?
Anya: Oh, that's been going on for centuries. Humans hire vampires to feed off them, they, well, you know, they-they get off on the rush.
Giles: And the... hazards of the underworld can become addictive to... some people.
Xander: Why don't the vampires just kill 'em?
Anya: Because they get cash, hot and cold running blood, and... they don't leave any corpses behind so they don't get hunted.
Giles: But still, i-it can be terribly dangerous for humans. I mean, people can end up dying accidentally, or, or meeting a, a vampire who only pretends to play by the house rules.
Buffy: You knew about this and you didn't tell me?
Giles: I hadn't seen it since my Ripper days. I had no idea it was going on in Sunnydale.
Buffy: Well, it is. And I'm gonna stop it.
Buffy: I don't understand. This place was doing serious business last night.
Xander: Well, I guess everybody jumped ship once the word got out that the slayer found their crib. I just want to apologize for the use of the word 'crib.'
Buffy: Do you think they'll set up shop again in town?
Giles: It's hard to say. I'm sure they'll lie low for a bit.
Buffy: But they're around somewhere. There's gotta be a way to find these creeps.
Willow: Don't worry, Buff, you'll find them.
Xander: Yeah, I'm sure you'll get them next time, champ.
Spike: Oh, man. You are really under it, aren't you?
Spike: Look at you. All afraid I'm hot for your honey.
Riley: Because you are.
Spike: Well... yeah. But that's not your problem. Even if I wasn't in the picture, you're never gonna be able to hold onto her. Ow, bloody hell!
Riley: Maybe I didn't almost kill you enough.
Spike: Come on. You're not the long haul guy and you know it.
Riley: Shut up.
Spike: You know it. Or else you wouldn't be getting suck jobs from two-bit vampire trulls. The girl needs some monster in her man... and that's not in your nature... no matter how low you try to go.
Riley: You actually think you've got a shot with her?
Spike: No, I don't. Fella's gotta try, though. Gotta do what he can.
Riley: If you touched her... you know I'd kill you for real.
Spike: I had this chip outta my head, I'da killed you long ago. Ain't love grand? Sometimes I envy you so much it chokes me. And sometimes I think I got the better deal. To be that close to her and not have her. To be all alone even when you're holding her. Feeling her, feeling her beneath you. Surrounding you. The scent... No, you got the better deal.
Riley: I'm the lucky guy. Yeah. I'm the guy.
Riley: Would you guys mind clearing out? I need a minute alone with her.
Anya: A little after-hours hanky-panky in the training room, huh? Boy, Xander and I could tell you some stories...
Xander: Not now. Let's go, Anya.
Anya: There's a funny thing with the vaulting horse that you can tr...
Anya: What? He started it.
Xander: In your world, maybe, but where the people are, this isn't the time for 'Tales of Anya and Xander's Sexcapades.'
Anya: Oh. Uh, well, maybe we can go home and, you know, have 'em.
Riley: I think, when this thing started, it was just some stupid, immature game. I wanted to even the score after you let Dracula bite you.
Buffy: I did not let Dracula-
Riley: I know. On some level I know that. But I was still spun. I don't know, I - I wanted to know what you felt. I wanted to know why Dracula and Angel have so much power over you.
Buffy: You so don't get it.
Buffy: Fine. Fine! Tell me about your whores! Tell me what on earth they were giving you that I can't.
Riley: They needed me.
Buffy: They needed your money. It wasn't about you.
Riley: No. On some basic level it was about me. My blood, my body. When they bit me... it was beyond passion. They wanted to devour me, all of me.
Buffy: Why are you telling me this?
Riley: It wasn't real. I know, it was just physical. But the fact that I craved it... that, that I kept going back... even if it was fleeting, they made me feel like they had such... hunger for me.
Buffy: And I don't... make you feel that way? How on earth can you compare me to that? How can you tell me you understand what those vampires are feeling? You aren't a passion to them, you are a snack! A willing, idiotic snack.
Riley: No, I know exactly what they feel when they bite me, because I feel it every time we're together. It's like the whole world falls away. And all there is is you.
Buffy: And you think that I don't feel the same way about you? How dare you tell me what I feel?
Riley: You keep me at a distance, Buffy. You didn't even call me when your mom went into the hospital.
Buffy: Oh, I'm sorry. You know, um, I'm sorry that I couldn't take care of you when I thought that my mother was dying.
Riley: It's about me taking care of you! It's about letting me in. So you don't have to be on top of everything all the time.
Buffy: But I do. That's part of what being a slayer is. And that's what this is really about, isn't it? You can't handle the fact that I'm stronger than you.
Riley: They want me back, Buffy... the military. It's deep undercover, no contact with civilians. Transport's leaving tonight.
Buffy: Tonight? When were you gonna tell me about this?
Riley: I'm telling you now.
Buffy: Are you going?
Riley: I don't know. If we can't work this out...
Buffy: Then what? This is goodbye? You are unbelievable. You're giving me an ultimatum?
Riley: No, I'm not.
Buffy: Yes you are! You expect me to get over it now or you're gone!
Riley: I don't, Buffy, that's not what I meant.
Buffy: Well, I have heard enough. I will not take the blame for this.
Xander: If you don't wanna hear what I have to say, I'll shut up right now.
Buffy: Good, 'cause I don't.
Xander: I lied. See, what I think, you got burned with Angel, then Riley shows up.
Buffy: I know the story, Xander.
Xander: But you miss the point. You shut down, Buffy. And you've been treating Riley like the rebound guy. When he's the one that comes along once in a lifetime. He's never held back with you. He's risked everything. And you're about to let him fly because you don't like ultimatums? If he's not the guy, if what he needs from you just isn't there, let him go. Break his heart, and make it a clean break. But if you really think you can love this guy... I'm talking scary, messy, no-emotions-barred need... if you're ready for that... then think about what you're about to lose.
Xander: I've gotta say something... 'Cause ... I don't think I've made it clear. I'm in love with you. Powerfully, painfully in love. The things you do... the way you think... the way you move... I get excited every time I'm about to see you. You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life. Like a man. I just thought you might wanna know.