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Inca Mummy Girl Quotes
Inca Mummy Girl Quotes

Buffy: A complete stranger in my house for two weeks. I'm gonna be insane! A danger to myself and others within three days, I swear.
Xander: I think the exchange student program's cool. I do! It's a beautiful melding of two cultures.
Buffy: Have you ever done an exchange program?
Xander: My dad tried to send me to some Armenians once. Does that count?

Buffy: What're you lookin' at?
Cordelia: Pictures of our exchange students. Look. 100% Swedish, 100% gorgeous, 100% staying at my house! So, how's yours? Visually, I mean.
Buffy: I don't know. Guy like?
Xander: By guy-like we are talking big, beefy, guy-like girl, right?
Buffy: I was just told 'guy'.
Cordelia: You didn't look at him first? He could be dogly. You live on the edge.
Xander: Hold on a sec. So, this person who's living with you for two weeks is a man. With man parts. This is a terrible idea.
Willow: What about the beautiful melding of two cultures?
Xander: There's no melding, okay? He better keep his parts to himself.

Xander: Uh, that's Rodney Munson. He's God's gift to the bell curve. What he lacks in smarts he makes up in lack of smarts.
Willow: You just don't like him 'cause of that time he beat you up every day for five years.
Xander: Yeah. I'm irrational that way.

Buffy: I wasn't gonna use violence. I don't always use violence. Do I?
Xander: The important thing is you believe that.

Willow: Are we still on for our chem tutorial tomorrow?
Rodney: Yeah. I think I got almost all fourteen natural elements memorized.
Willow: There're a hundred and three.

Guide: Five hundred years ago, the Incan people chose a beautiful teenage girl to become their princess.
Willow: I hope this story ends with, 'And she lived happily ever after.'
Xander: No, I think it ends with, 'And she became a scary, discolored, shriveled mummy.'

Xander: So, Buffy, when's exchange-o boy making his appearance?
Buffy: His name's Ampata. Gonna be at the bus station tomorrow night.
Xander: Ooo. The Sunnydale bus depot. Classy! What a better way to introduce someone to our country than with the stench of urine.

Buffy: So, can I go?
Giles: I think not.
Buffy: How come?
Giles: Because you are the Chosen One.
Buffy: Mm. Just this once I'd like to be the Overlooked One.
Giles: Well, I'm... afraid that is not... You have responsibilities that other girls do not.
Buffy: Oh! I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah, blah, bity blah, I'm so stuffy, gimme a scone.
Giles: It's as if you know me.

Buffy: So! I think going to the dance like a normal person would be the best way to keep that secret. Giles, come on, budge! No one likes a non-budger.
Giles: FINE! Go.
Buffy: Yay! I win.
Giles: I'll just go and introduce my shoulder to a, an icepack.

Buffy: I thought you were taking Willow.
Xander: Well, yeah, I'm gonna take Willow, but I'm not gonna take Willow. In the sense of 'take me'. See, with you we're three and everybody's safe. Without you, we're two.
Buffy: Ah, and we enter dateville. Romance, flowers...
Xander: Lips.
Buffy: Oh, come on. In all the years you've know Willow, you've never thought about her lips?
Xander: Buffy, I love Willow. And she's my best friend. Which makes her not the kind of girl who I think about her lips that much. She's the kind of girl that... I'm best friends with.

Buffy: One day I'm gonna live in a town where evil curses are just generally ruled out without even saying.

Willow: Giles, were the Incas very advanced?
Giles: Yes, yes, very.
Willow: Did they have orthodontists?

Xander: Uh-uh-uh, Buffy? Where are your priorities? Tracking down a mummifying killer or making time for some Latin lover whose stock in trade is the breakage of hearts?
Buffy: Ampata's there alone. And I-I don't know how good his English is. He's here from South A... South America. Hey, y'know, maybe he could translate the seal.
Xander: Oh, yeah. Fall for the old 'let me translate that ancient seal for ya' come on. Tsh. D'ya know how many times I've used that?

Xander: So, do we have to speak Spanish when we see him? 'Cause I don't know anything much besides Doritos and Chihuahua.
Buffy: Ampata?
Ampata: Here! Hello. I am Ampata.
Xander: Ay caramba! I can also say that!

Xander: Your English is... very bueno.
Ampata: I listened much.
Xander: Well, that works out well, because I talk much.

Cordelia: Devon, I told you I'd be at the dance tonight, but I am not one of your little groupies. I won't be all doe-eyed looking up at you, standing at the edge of the stage.
Devon: Got it.
Cordelia: So, I'll see you afterwards?
Devon: Sure. Where do you wanna meet?
Cordelia: I'll be standing at the edge of the stage.
Devon: With that guy?
Cordelia: Sven! Momento! Needa! This whole student exchange thing has been a horrible nightmare. They don't even speak American. So, I'll see you later? Bye! Sven! Come?

Devon: Let me guess: not your type? What does a girl have to do to impress you?
Oz: Well, it involves a feathered boa and a theme to 'A Summer Place'. I can't discuss it here.
Devon: You're too picky, man. Do you know how many girls you could have? You're lead guitar, Oz. It's currency!
Oz: I'm not picky. You're just impressed by any pretty girl that can walk and talk.
Devon: She doesn't have to talk.

Willow: I worked really hard on my costume. It's pretty cool.
Xander: Okay, but what about me? I've gotta think.
Willow: Well, it's a celebration of cultures. There are lots of dress-up alternatives.
Xander: And a corresponding equal number of mocking alternatives. All aimed at me.
Willow: Bavarians are cool.
Xander: Okay, no shirts with ruffles, no hats with feathers and definitely no lederhosen. They make my calves look fat.
Willow: Why are you suddenly so worried about looking like an idiot? That came out wrong.

Giles: How do you do?
Ampata: Hi.
Giles: I was, I was wondering if you could, um, translate this?
Buffy: That was in no way awkward.

Xander: And this is called a snack food.
Ampata: Snack food?
Xander: Yeah. It's a delicious, spongy, golden cake stuffed with a delightful creamy, white substance of goodness. And here's how you eat it. Mm-hm.

Xander: Good, huh? And the exciting part is that they have no ingredients that a human can pronounce. So it doesn't leave you with that heavy... food feeling in your stomach.
Ampata: You are strange.
Xander: Girls always tell me that. Right before they run away.

Xander: Please, don't learn from my English.

Buffy: Ha! Or possible ha. Do you think this matches? Hey!
Willow: Oh! Yes. I'm caring about mummies.
Buffy: Ampata's only staying two weeks.
Willow: Yeah. And then Xander can find someone else who's not me to obsess about. At least with you I knew he didn't have a shot. Well, you know, I have a choice. I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out with every other girl in the world until he notices me, or I can just get on with my life.
Buffy: Good for you.
Willow: Well, I didn't choose yet.

Xander: We're in the crime club. Which is kinda like the chess club, only with crime, and, um... no chess.

Willow: You should take her to the dance.
Xander: That's a good idea! We'll all go!
Willow: No, I mean just you.
Xander: But you were psyched! And your costume!
Willow: I'll see you there.
Xander: You know what, Willow? You're my best friend.
Willow: I know.

Ampata: Hello, Xander.
Xander: Hho hee ze thee ai uh...
Buffy: I can translate American salivating boy talk. He says you're beautiful.
Xander: Hyav su.
Buffy: You're welcome.

Cordelia: Hey!
Dawn: Where's Sven?
Cordelia: Ohhh, I keep trying to ditch him. He's like one of those dogs that you leave at the Grand Canyon on vacation? It follows you back across four states. See? My own speechless, human boomerang.
Dawn: He's kinda cute. Maybe it's nice skippin' all that small talk.
Cordelia: Small talk? How 'bout simple instruction? Get punchy. You! Fruit drinky!
Dawn: He can follow me.

Giles: Thank heavens you're home.
Buffy: Yup! Not at the dance. Not with my friends. Not with a life. What are you doing here? I thought we were gonna meet at the museum to find the bodyguard.
Giles: No, he's already been found. In a school restroom. Mummified.
Buffy: Okay, I don't get it. Why would the mummy kill her own bodyguard?
Giles: Well, I've cross-referenced, and, uh, I've looked at the pictograms anew. He was a guard alright. But it was his job to insure that the mummy didn't awaken and escape.

Oz: Hey. That girl. Who is she?
Devon: She's an exchange student. I think she's from South America.
Oz: No, not her. The Eskimo!

Buffy: Come on! Can't you put your foot down?
Giles: It is down.
Buffy: One of these days you're gonna have to get a grownup car.

Giles: Well, we already know that the seal was used to contain the mummy. If breaking it freed her...
Buffy: ...reassembling it will trap her.
Giles: I'll go to the museum. I'll drop you off. I'll try to piece together the fragments there.
Buffy: Okay, I'll still get Xander. Before he gets smoochy with Mummy Dearest.

Xander: Have you seen Ampata? What was that?
Willow: I shrugged.
Xander: Next time you should probably say 'shrug'.
Willow: Sigh.

Sven: I thought this exchange student thing would be a great deal. But look what I got stuck with! 'Momento!' 'Punchy fruity drinky!' Is Cordelia even from this country?

Buffy: Where's Xander?
Willow: He's looking for Ampata.
Buffy: We need to find him. Ampata's the mummy.
Willow: Oh. Good. Xander!

Xander: Let her go! If you're gonna kiss anybody, it should be me. Ampata: Xander, we can be together. Just... just let me have this one. Xander: That's never gonna happen. Ampata: I must do it. I must do it now! Or it is the end for me and for us! Xander: NO! You want life? You're gonna have to take mine. Can you do that?

Xander: I'm really the Fun-Talking Guy today, huh? Sorry.
Buffy: That's okay. You don't have to talk.
Xander: I just, present company excluded, I have the worst taste in women of anyone in the world, ever.
Buffy: Ampata wasn't evil. At least not to begin with, and... I-I do think she cared about you.
Xander: Yeah, but I think that whole sucking the life out of people thing would have been a strain on the relationship.
Buffy: She was gypped. She was just a girl, and she had her life taken away from her. I remember how I felt when I heard the prophecy that I was gonna die. I wasn't exactly obsessed with doing the right thing.
Xander: Yeah, but you did. You gave up your life.
Buffy: I had you to bring me back.

The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

We were close. We killed each other. It really promotes togetherness.
-Buffy (When She Was Bad)

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