The Harvest Quotes
The Harvest Quotes
Giles: This world is older than any of you know. Contrary to popular mythology, it did not begin as a paradise. For untold eons demons walked the Earth. They made it their home, their... their Hell. But in time they lost their purchase on this reality. The way was made for mortal animals, for, for man. All that remains of the old ones are vestiges, certain magicks, certain creatures...
Buffy: And vampires.
Xander: Okay, this is where I have a problem. See, because we're talking about vampires. We're having a talk with vampires in it.
Willow: Isn't that what we saw last night?
Buffy: No. No, th-those weren't vampires, those were just guys in thundering need of a facial. Or maybe they had rabies. It could have been rabies. A-and that guy turning to dust? Just a trick of light. That's exactly what I said the first time I saw a vampire. Well, after I was done with the screaming part.
Willow: Oh, I, I need to sit down.
Buffy: You are sitting down.
Willow: Oh. Good for me.
Xander: So vampires are demons?
Giles: The books tell the last demon to leave this reality fed off a human, mixed their blood. He was a human form possessed, infected by the demon's soul. He bit another, and another, and so they walk the Earth, feeding... Killing some, mixing their blood with others to make more of their kind. Waiting for the animals to die out, and the old ones to return.
Giles: For as long as there have been vampires, there's been the Slayer. One girl in all the world, a Chosen One.
Buffy: He loves doing this part.
Giles: Alright. The Slayer hunts vampires, Buffy is a Slayer, don't tell anyone. Well, I think that's all the vampire information you need.
Xander: Except for one thing: how do you kill them?
Buffy: You don't, I do.
Xander: Well, Jesse's my...
Buffy: Jesse is my responsibility. I let him get taken.
Xander: That's not true.
Willow: If you hadn't shown up they would have taken us, too. Does anybody mind if I pass out?
Giles: You have no idea where they took Jesse?
Buffy: I looked around, but soon's they got clear of the graveyard, they could have just, voom!
Xander: They can fly?
Buffy: They can drive.
Master: A Slayer! Have you any proof?
Luke: Only that she fought me, and yet lives.
Master: Hmm, very nearly proof enough. I can't remember the last time that happened.
Luke: 1843. Madrid. He caught me sleeping.
Giles: So, all the city plans are just, uh, open to the public?
Willow: Um, well, i-in a way. I sort of stumbled onto them when I accidentally decrypted the city council's security system.
Xander: Someone's been naughty.
Xander: So, what's the plan? We saddle up, right?
Buffy: There's no 'we', okay? I'm the Slayer, and you're not.
Xander: I knew you'd throw that back in my face.
Buffy: Xander, this is deeply dangerous.
Xander: I'm inadequate. That's fine. I'm less than a man.
Willow: Buffy, I'm not anxious to go into a dark place full of monsters. But I do want to help. I need to.
Giles: Well, then help me. I've been researching this Harvest affair. It seems to be some sort of preordained massacre. Rivers of blood, Hell on Earth, quite charmless. I'm a bit fuzzy, however, on the details. It may be that you can wrest some information from that dread machine. That was a bit, um, British, wasn't it?
Buffy: Welcome to the New World.
Giles: I want you to go on the 'Net.
Willow: Oh, sure, I can do that.
Xander: This is just too much. I mean, yesterday my life's like, 'Uh-oh, pop quiz.' Today it's 'Rain of Toads'.
Willow: I know. And everyone else thinks it's just a normal day.
Xander: Nobody knows. It's like we've got this big secret.
Willow: We do. That's what a secret is, when you know something other guys don't.
Buffy: I don't suppose you've got a key on you?
Angel: They really don't like me dropping in.
Buffy: Why not?
Angel: They really don't like me.
Buffy: How could that possibly be?
Angel: I knew you'd figure out this entryway sooner or later. Actually, I thought it was gonna be a little sooner.
Buffy: Sorry you had to wait. Okay. Look, if you're gonna be popping up with this Cryptic Wise Man act on a regular basis, can you at least tell me your name?
Buffy: Angel. It's a pretty name.
Angel: They'll be expecting you.
Buffy: I've got a friend down there. Or at least a potential friend. Do you know what it's like to have a friend? That wasn't supposed to be a stumper.
Xander: Okay, so, crosses, garlic, stake through the heart.
Buffy: That'll get it done.
Xander: Cool! Of course, I don't actually have any of those things.
Buffy: Good thinking.
Xander: Well, the part of my brain that would tell me to bring that stuff is still busy telling me not to come down here.
Xander: Okay! Okay! So, what else?
Buffy: What else what?
Xander: For vampire slayage.
Buffy: Oh, fire, beheading, sunlight, holy water, the usual.
Xander: You've done some beheading in your time?
Buffy: Oh, yeah. There was this time I was pinned down by this guy that played left tackle for varsity... Well, at least he used to before he was a vampire... Anyway, he had this really, really thick neck, and all I had was a little, little Exact-O knife... You're not loving this story.
Xander: No, actually, I find it oddly comforting.
Boy: Why was she kicked out?
Cordelia: Uh, because she's a psycho loony!
Willow: No, she's not.
Willow: She's not a psycho. You don't even know her.
Cordelia: Excuse me? Who gave you permission to exist? Do I horn in on your private discussions? No. Why? Because you're boring.
Harmony: Okay, I think the program's done.
Cordelia: Finally the nightmare ends! Okay, so how do we save it?
Cordelia: Deliver? Where's that? Oh!
Buffy: They're close.
Xander: How can you tell?
Buffy: No more rats.
Xander: Jesse, man. I'm sorry.
Jesse: Sorry? I feel good, Xander! I feel strong! I'm connected, man, to everything! I, I can hear the worms in the earth!
Xander: That's a plus.
Xander: I don't like vampires. I'm gonna take a stand and say they're not good.
Buffy: So, Giles! Got anything that can make this day any worse?
Giles: How about the end of the world?
Buffy: Knew I could count on you.
Giles: This is what we know. Some sixty years ago, a very old, very powerful vampire came to this shore, not just to feed.
Buffy: He came 'cause this town's a mystical who's it.
Giles: Yes. The Spanish who first settled here called it 'Boca del Infierno'. Roughly translated, 'Hellmouth'. It's a sort of, um, portal between this reality and the next. This vampire hopes to open it.
Buffy: Bring the demons back.
Xander: End of the world.
Willow: But he blew it! Or, I mean, there was an earthquake that swallowed half the town, and him, too.
Giles: You see, opening dimensional portals is a tricky business. Odds are he got himself stuck, rather like a, uh, cork in a bottle.
Xander: And this Harvest thing is to get him out.
Giles: It comes once in a century, on this night. The Master can draw power from one of his minions while it feeds. Enough power to break free and open the portal. The minion is called the Vessel, and he bears this symbol.
Buffy: So, I dust anyone sporting that symbol, and no Harvest.
Giles: Simply put, yes.
Joyce: It's happening again, isn't it? I got a call from your new principal. Says you missed some classes today?
Buffy: I was running an errand.
Joyce: We haven't finished unpacking, and I'm getting calls from the principal.
Buffy: Mom, I promise, it is not gonna be like before. But I have to go.
Joyce: The tapes all say I should get used to saying it. No.
Buffy: This is really, really important.
Joyce: I know. If you don't go out it'll be the end of the world. Everything is life or death when you're a sixteen-year-old girl.
Buffy: Look, I don't have time to talk about this...
Joyce: Buffy, you've got all the time in the world, you're not going anywhere. Now, if you wanna stay up here and sulk, I won't hold it against you. But if you wanna come down, I'll make us some dinner.
Cordelia: Senior boys are the only way to go. Guys from our grade, forget about it, they're children. Y'know? Like Jesse. Did you see him last night, following me around like a little puppy dog. You just wanna put him to sleep. But senior boys, hmm, they have mystery. They have... What's the word I'm searching for? Cars! I just am not the type to settle. Y'know? It's like when I go shopping. I have to have the most expensive thing. Not because it's expensive, but because it costs more.
Girl: You know, I...
Cordelia: Hello, Miss Motormouth, can I get a sentence finished? Oh, I love this song! Come on!
Xander: We've gotta get in there before Jesse does something stupider than usual.
Giles: You listen to me! Jesse is dead! You have to remember that when you see him, you're not looking at your friend. You're looking at the thing that killed him.
Luke: You forget, metal can't hurt me.
Buffy: There's something you forgot about, too. Sunrise! It's in about nine hours, moron!
Willow: Did we win?
Buffy: Well, we averted the Apocalypse. I give us points for that.
Xander: One thing's for sure: nothing's ever gonna be the same.
Buffy: What exactly were you expecting?
Xander: I don't know, something. I mean, the dead rose. We should at least have an assembly.
Giles: People have a tendency to rationalize what they can and forget what they can't.
Buffy: Believe me, I've seen it happen.
Willow: Well, I'll never forget it, none of it.
Giles: Good! Next time you'll be prepared.
Xander: Next time?
Willow: Next time is why?
Giles: We've prevented the Master from freeing himself and opening the Mouth of Hell. That's not to say he's going to stop trying. I'd say the fun is just beginning.
Willow: More vampires?
Giles: Not just vampires. The next threat we face may be something quite different.
Buffy: I can hardly wait!
Giles: We're at the center of a mystical convergence here. We may, in fact, stand between the Earth and its total destruction.
Buffy: Well, I gotta look on the bright side. Maybe I can still get kicked out of school!
Xander: Oh, yeah, that's a plan. 'Cause lots of schools aren't on Hellmouths.
Willow: Maybe you could blow something up. They're really strict about that.
Buffy: I was thinking of a more subtle approach, y'know, like excessive not studying.
Giles: The Earth is doomed!