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Family Quotes
Family Quotes

Tara: Do you mind if I keep the light on? I was gonna look up some spells.
Willow: It's fine. I don't need to be snuggled.
Tara: Vixen!
Willow: You've been spell gal night and day lately.
Tara: Well, I just wanna keep up with you, and I'm... well, I just like to be useful. You know, to the gang? I just... never... feel useful.
Willow: You are. You're essential.

Giles: This... woman, this, uh, whatever she was... she knows you now. Should we be thinking about... sending Dawn away?
Buffy: Away where?
Giles: I don't know, uh... your father's?
Buffy: Yeah, he's, um... in Spain, with his secretary. Living the cliche. I called him when Mom got sick, he hasn't even...
Giles: I'm sorry.
Buffy: When he bailed on us... I remember, Dawn cried for a week. Except she didn't. She wasn't there, but... I can still feel what it was like. They sent her to me, Giles. I think... I have to take care of her. I want to.
Giles: Do we tell the others?
Buffy: No. No one. They-they'd act weird around her, and it's, it's safer for everyone if they don't know.
Giles: Yes. We have to find out who this woman is, and what she needs Dawn for. I mean, if she comes after you-
Buffy: She'll come. She'll come for us.

Xander: Ow! Thumb! Necessary opposable thumb!
Riley: Sorry. Crybaby.

Anya: But we just helped her move the stuff in a few days ago... and it was fun!
Giles: People help each other out, Anya. It's one of our strange customs.
Buffy: Giles, I noticed you're doing the smallest amount of helping that can actually be called helping.
Giles: Well, I saw myself in more of a... patriarchal sort of role. You know, lots of pointing and scowling. You two, stop that!
Riley: He started it.
Xander: He called me a bad name. I think it was bad. It might've been Latin.

Buffy: Nothing like gettin' your ass kicked to... make your ass hurt.
Dawn: You'll totally take her next time.
Xander: 'Cause you'll have backup, baby. She's messin' with all of us.
Giles: Yes, uh, we'll, we'll, uh, find her weaknesses, and then, uh-
Tara: Yeah. You learn her source, and, uh, we'll introduce her to her insect reflection... Um... that, that was funny if you, um, studied Taglarin mythic rites... and are a complete dork.
Riley: Oh, then how come Xander didn't laugh?
Xander: I don't know that Taglarin stuff.
Riley: Oh.

Anya: Thank you for coming. We value your patronage. Please come again for more purchases!
Giles: Could we please be a little less effusive, Anya? Don't want to frighten the people.
Anya: I'm just so excited. They come in, I help them... they give us money in exchange for goods... you give me money for working for you... I have a place in the world now. I'm part of the system. I'm a working gal.
Giles: Yes. Well, why don't you start organizing the shipping orders.
Anya: Oh, no, that's boring. I just want to do the money parts.

Buffy: So, any breakthroughs on the identity of Miss Congeniality?
Giles: Well, I have narrowed it down somewhat.
Buffy: Your definition of narrow is impressively wide.
Giles: Well, you didn't give me much to go on. She-she looks human, so the mug shots aren't any use, and, uh, you can't be more specific about what she's like?
Buffy: She was kinda like Cordelia, actually. I'm pretty sure she dyes her hair.
Giles: Right! That one, of course. Our work is done.

Buffy: So... what'd you get her?
Xander: Huh?
Buffy: Tara. You said you got a present already.
Xander: Yeah, that was a tangled web of lies, sweetie. I'm not really sure what kind of thing she'd... I mean, I don't really know her that well.
Buffy: I know.
Xander: I mean, she's nice.
Buffy: Yeah! Yeah, nice... nice. I-it's just, I-I sort of...
Xander: I don't necessarily get her... but she's really nice.
Buffy: Yeah. There's... just that thing.
Xander: That thing.
Buffy: That... thing of not understanding-
Xander: Half of what she says?
Buffy: As for example. But she's super nice.
Xander: You betcha.

Spike: You want me, Slayer, come and get me.
Buffy: Oh, I'm coming. I'm coming right-
Harmony: -now! ... What are you thinking?
Spike: All about you, baby.
Harmony: Aww. You're my little lamb.

Giles: Come up with anything yet?
Xander: Well, candles, maybe, or bath oils of some kind.
Buffy: I saw a really cute sweater at Bloomy's... but, I think I want me to have it.
Giles: And you are talking about what on earth?
Buffy: Tara's birthday. We're at a loss.
Giles: You're in a magic shop, and you can't think what Tara would like. I believe you're both profoundly stupid.
Xander: Well, we don't really know... the kind of things witches like. What, are we gonna get her some cheesy crystal ball?
Giles: Bloody well better not. I've got mine already wrapped.

Donny: So all these books got spells in 'em? Turn people into frogs, things like that?
Xander: Yeah, we're building a race of frog people. It's a good time.

Dawn: I'm going to Melinda's for dinner.
Buffy: Since when?
Dawn: Now-ish.
Buffy: You can't. I-it's not safe for you to walk there.
Dawn: It's just across the street. What is the big deal, I'm just gonna go-
Buffy: No. It's family night. And besides, Melinda's a bad influence. I don't like you hanging out with someone that... short.
Dawn: I am so glad you're moving back into the house. This is the source of my gladness.

Buffy: She makes me crazy.
Riley: That's... kinda the word I was searching for.
Buffy: What? She shouldn't be going over there.
Riley: Yeah, a lot of young people nowadays are experimenting with shortness. Gotta nip that in the bud.

Mr. Maclay: Your birthday's getting closer and closer. You know what that means.
Tara: I don't think it's... it, it won't mean that-
Mr. Maclay: You're turning twenty. It's the same age your mother was when she... Do your friends even know?
Tara: Y-yes.
Mr. Maclay: Are you lying to me? Tara, you're coming home with us. You know it's the only way.
Tara: Home?
Mr. Maclay: You can't control what's going to happen. You have evil inside of you and it will come out. And letting yourself work all this magic is only going to make it worse. Where do you think that power comes from?
Tara: It... it doesn't feel evil... sir.
Mr. Maclay: Evil never does. I don't feel much like eating right now. I'll give you some time, but we need to be gone by morning. Your family loves you, Tara, no matter what. How do you think your friends are going to feel when they see your true face?

Glory: You know, I remember when the Lei-Ach were a proud warrior race, not sneaking around hospitals looking for weak sickly types to suck the bone marrow from. But... let's talk about my problems for thirty seconds, if that's perfectly all right with you. Blonde... short... strong for a human... and massively rude! Broke my shoe, took my monk, do you have any idea who I'm talking about? A slayer?? Oh god, please don't tell me I was fighting a vampire slayer! How unbelievably common! If I had friends, and they heard about this... and you know she's going around telling everybody, I mean she probably just- Pay attention! I am great and I am beautiful, and when I walk into a room all eyes turn to me, because my name is a holy name, and you will listen! Get your friends... find the girl... kill the girl... okay baby? You have the cutest little suppurating sores! Has anyone ever told you that?

Sandy: This place is such a dive.
Riley: No no, it's great. You just have to close your eyes, plug up your nostrils, it's fine.
Sandy: We... could go somewhere else. Someplace more... private.
Riley: Ohhhh, Sandy, Sandy. It's no good. My heart belongs to another. Besides, I don't go out with vampires. Never interested in my intellect.

Harmony: Hi baby!
Spike: Hello, sweetbreads. Have fun?
Harmony: Uhh, it was so exciting. You wouldn't believe it. I went to April Fool's, and absolutely everything was on sale.
Spike: You paid for it?
Harmony: Oh, no. I just killed the clerk. Still, a bargain's a bargain. Oh, I ran into Carol Beets. You know. She sired Brandon, Brandon from the sewer gang... and she said, the Lei-Ach demon... was recruiting his brethren to kill the slayer!
Spike: How's that?
Harmony: Apparently, he got recruited by some big nether-wig and now he's on a mission. You think they might actually do it? Kill her?
Spike: God, that would be... pleasant.
Harmony: Well, if they do, I think we should do something. Like a gift basket or something. Where are you going?
Spike: To get a decent seat. If the slayer's gonna die... I'm gonna watch.

Tara: I didn't want you to see... what I am.
Willow: Tara, what?
Buffy: What do you mean, what you are?
Mr. Maclay: Demon. The women in our family... have demon in them. Her mother had it. That's where the magic comes from. We came to take her home before... well, before things like... this started happening.
Giles: You cast a spell on us, to keep us from seeing your... demon side. That's why we couldn't see our attackers.
Buffy: Nearly got us killed.

Willow: Tara... look at me. I, I trusted you more than anyone in my life. Was all that just a lie?
Tara: No!
Willow: Well, do you wanna leave?
Mr. Maclay: It's not your decision, young lady.
Willow: I know that! Do you wanna leave?
Mr. Maclay: You're going to do what's right, Tara. Now, I'm taking you out of here before somebody does get killed. The girl belongs with her family. I hope that's clear to the rest of you.
Buffy: It is. You want her, Mr. Maclay? You can go ahead and take her. You just gotta go through me.
Mr. Maclay: What?
Buffy: You heard me. You wanna take Tara out of here against her will? You gotta come through me.
Dawn: And me!
Mr. Maclay: Is this a joke? I'm not gonna be threatened by two little girls.
Dawn: You don't wanna mess with us.
Buffy: She's a hair-puller.
Giles: And... you're not just dealing with, uh, two little girls.
Xander: You're dealing with all of us.
Spike: 'Cept me.
Xander: 'Cept Spike.
Spike: I don't care what happens.
Mr. Maclay: This is insane. You people have no right to interfere with Tara's affairs. We... are her blood kin! Who the hell are you?
Buffy: We're family.

Donny: Tara, if you don't get in that car, I swear by god I will beat you down.
Xander: And I swear by your full and manly beard, you're gonna break something trying.

Anya: What kind of demon is she? There's a lot of different kinds. Some are very, very evil. And some have been considered to be useful members of society.
Beth: Well, I-I ... what does it matter?
Mr. Maclay: Evil is evil.
Anya: Well, let's just narrow it down.
Spike: Ohhh. Why don't I make this simple. Oww!!
Willow: Hey! Hey...
Tara: He hit my nose!
Willow: And it hurt! Uh, him, I mean.
Buffy: And that only works on humans.
Spike: There's no demon in there. That's just a family legend, am I right? Just a bit of spin to keep the ladies in line. Oh, you're a piece of work. I like you.
Tara: I'm not a demon.
Willow: You're not a demon.
Tara: He hurt my nose.
Willow: Aw.
Spike: Yeah, you're welcome.

Tara: No, see, 'cause your insect reflection represents your insignificance... in terms of the karmic cycle.
Anya: But it's still not funny.

Dawn: This place is so cool. 'Cept I have to wear this stupid stamp on my hand.
Xander: That's to keep you from boozing it up.
Dawn: Oh please. Only losers drink alcohol.

Willow: Good birthday?
Tara: Best birthday.
Willow: I still can't believe you didn't tell me about your family and all that.
Tara: I was just afraid if you saw the kind of people I came from, you wouldn't wanna be anywhere near me.
Willow: See... that's where you're a dummy. I think about... what you grew up with, and... then I look at what you are... it makes me proud. It makes me love you more.
Tara: Every time I- even when I'm at my worst... you always make me feel special. How do you do that?
Willow: Magic.

The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

I am the bug man, coo coo ka choo.
-Xander (What's My Line? (Part 2))

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