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Faith, Hope, and Trick Quotes
Faith, Hope, and Trick Quotes

Willow: I'm giddy.
Oz: Oh, I like you giddy. Always have.
Willow: It's the freedom! As Seniors, we can go off-campus now for lunch. It's no longer cutting. It's legal! Heck, it's expected! Wow, it's, uh, also a big step forward, a Senior moment, one that has to be savored. You can't just rush into this, you know? Ohh! No, I can't!
Xander: You can.
Oz: See, you are.
Willow: Oh, but, no! What if they changed the rule without telling? What if they're lying in wait to arrest me a-and, and throw me in detention and mar my unblemished record?
Xander: Breathe. Breathe.
Willow: Okay. Hmm... This is good! This is... Hey, we're Seniors! Hey, I'm walkin' here!

Willow: Maybe we shouldn't be too couple-y around Buffy.
Cordelia: Oh, you mean 'cause of how the only guy that ever liked her turned into a vicious killer and had to be put down like a dog?
Xander: Can she cram complex issues into a nutshell, or what?
Oz: All right, prepare to uncouple... Uncouple.

Xander: Buffy, banned from campus, but not from our hearts, how are you and what's for lunch?
Buffy: Oh, I just threw a few things together.
Cordelia: When did you become Martha Stewart?
Buffy: First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand-cut prosciutto.
Xander: I don't believe she slays, either.
Oz: Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn't like to.

Willow: I think that went very well. Don't you think that went very well?
Cordelia: He didn't try to slit our throats or anything. That's progress.
Willow: Hey, did you do that little half-smile thing?
Buffy: Look, I'm not trying to snare Scott Hope. I just want to get my life back, you know, do normal stuff.
Willow: Like date?
Buffy: Well...
Xander: Oh, you wanna date. I saw that half-smile, you little slut. Ow.
Buffy: All right, yes, date and shop and hang out and go to school and save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I wanna do girlie stuff!

Snyder: Here are the terms of your re-entry, Missy. Take 'em or leave 'em. One: that you pass a makeup test of every class you skipped out on last year. Two: that you provide, in writing, one glowing letter of recommendation from any member of our faculty who is not an English librarian. Three: that you complete an interview with our school psychologist who must conclude that your violent tendencies... are under control.
Joyce: I'm not sure I like your attitude, Mr. Snyder. I spoke with the school board, and according to them...
Snyder: I'm required to educate every juvenile who is not in jail where she belongs. Welcome back.
Buffy: So let me get this straight. I'm really back in school because the school board overruled you. Wow. That's like having your whole ability to do this job called into question, when you think about it.
Joyce: I think what my daughter's trying to say is... Nyah, nyah-nyah-nyah, nyah.

Buffy: Giles say what he wanted? Do you think he's mad?
Willow: No, I don't think so. I think he just needed to see you. Have you ever noticed, though, when he is mad, but he's too English to say anything, he makes that weird cluck-cluck sound with his tongue?
Buffy: Hi, Giles!
Willow: Oh, hi! Been there long?

Giles: Buffy, good timing. I could use your help. I trust you remember the demon Acathla?
Buffy: Giles, contain yourself. Yes, I'm back in school, but you know how it embarrasses me when you gush so. Let's just skip all that and get straight to work.
Giles: Oh, ahhhh... Well, I, um... Well-w... O-o-of course, it's wonderful to have you back, i-i-it goes without saying. But... You enjoy making me say it, don't you?

Giles: It involves creating a-a-a protective circle around... Well, I don't want to bore you with the details, but, uh, well, there's a litany th-that one has to recite in Aramaic, and it's very specific. So I need to get a few details about your experience of defeating Acathla and Angel.
Buffy: Fire away.
Giles: I've put the time at about, um, 6:17, around, about half an hour after Xander rescued me.
Buffy: Less. More like ten minutes.
Giles: Oh, was the vortex already open?
Buffy: Barely.
Giles: I see. And Angel?
Buffy: A big fight, Angel got the pointy end of the sword, Acathla sucked him into Hell instead of the world. That's about the it.
Giles: Yes, well, that, um... should be very helpful.
Buffy: Oh, no, I have to go take an English makeup exam. They give you credit just for speaking it, right? Oh...

Willow: Mm, sage. I love that smell. And marnox root. You know, a smidge of this mixed with a virgin's saliva... Does something I know nothing about.
Giles: These forces are not something that one plays around with, Willow. What have you been conjuring?
Willow: Nothing... much. Well, you know, I tried this spell to cure Angel, and I guess that was a bust. But since then, you know, small stuff: floating feather, fire out of ice, which next time I won't do on the bedspread. Are you mad at me?
Giles: No, of course not, no. If I were, I would be making a strange clucking sound with my tongue.

Willow: Hi, Scott. What are you doing here?
Scott: You told me if I came after 8:00, I could run into Buffy. Uh, I'm sorry. I'm a bad liar. It's not good for the soul. O-o-or the skin, actually. It makes me blotch.
Buffy: Hi, Scott.
Scott: Hi.

Faith: The whole summer it was, like, the worst heat wave. So it's about a hundred and eighteen degrees and I'm sleeping without a stitch on. And all of a sudden, I hear this screaming from outside. So I go tearing out, stark nude, and this church bus has broke down, and there's these three vamps feasting on half the Baptists in South Boston. So I waste the vamps, and the preacher comes up, and he's hugging me like there's no tomorrow, when all of a sudden, the cops pull up and they arrested us both.
Xander: Wow. They should film that story and show it every Christmas.

Faith: God, I could eat a horse. Isn't it crazy how slayin' just always makes you hungry and horny?
Buffy: Well... Sometimes I-I crave a nonfat yogurt afterwards.
Cordelia: I get it. Not the horny thing. Yuck! But the two Slayer thing. There was one, and then Buffy died for, like, two minutes, so then Kendra was called, and then when she died, Faith was called.
Willow: But why were you called here?
Faith: Well, I wasn't. My Watcher went off to some retreat thing in England, and so I skipped out. I figured this was my chance to meet the infamous Buff and compare notes. So, B, did you really use a rocket launcher one time?

Faith: Oh, there's this Big Daddy Vampire out of Missouri who used to keep them as pets. So he's got me rasslin' one of 'em, okay? The thing must have been twelve feet long and I'm...
Xander: So was this, um, ahem, also naked?
Faith: Well, the alligator was.
Cordelia: Xander? Find a new theme.

Oz: Uh, now, you both kill vamps, and who could blame you, but, I'm, I'm wondering about your position on werewolves.
Willow: Oz is a werewolf.
Buffy: It's a long story.
Oz: I got bit.
Buffy: Apparently not that long.
Faith: Hey, as long as you don't go scratchin' at me or humpin' my leg, we're five-by-five, you know?
Oz: Fair enough.

Giles: There's a Watchers' retreat every year in the Cotswolds. It's a lovely spot. It's very s-serene. There's horse riding and hiking and punting and lectures and discussions. It-i-it's... it's a great honor to be invited. Or so I'm told.
Faith: Oh, it's boring. Way too stuffy for a guy like you.
Buffy: Um, maybe I should introduce you again. Faith, this is Giles.
Faith: I see him. If I'd've known they came that young and cute, I would've requested a transfer.
Buffy: Raise your hand if 'ew'.

Giles: I-I-I've been having a little problem with the, uh, binding spell for Acathla. I-I-I'm lacking the, the requisite details to perform it correctly. Now, physical location. Acathla was facing south?
Buffy: Mm-hm. Acathla, Angel, me. Sword.
Giles: Now, see, that's what I thought, but I...
Buffy: Giles, look, I've got makeup tests to pass, missing people in Sunset Ridge, and a zesty new Slayer to feed. Next time I kill Angel, I'll video it.

Willow: And over here, we have the cafeteria, where we were mauled by snakes.
Xander: And this is the spot where Angel tried to kill Willow.
Willow: Oh, and over there in the lounge is where Spike and his gang nearly massacred us all on Parent-Teacher night. Oh, a-and up those stairs, I was sucked into a muddy grave.
Xander: And they say young people don't learn anything in high school nowadays, but, um, I've learned to be afraid.
Faith: You guys are a hoot and a half. If I'd had friends like you in high school, I... probably still would've dropped out. But I might've been sad about it, you know?

Cordelia: What is it with you and Slayers? Maybe I should dress up as one and put a stake to your throat.
Xander: Please, God, don't let that be sarcasm.

Joyce: So you're a Slayer, too. Isn't that interesting! Do you like it?
Faith: God, I love it!
Buffy: Uh, Mom?
Joyce: Uh, just a second, honey. You know, Buffy never talks that way. Why do you love it?
Faith: Well, when I'm fighting, it's like the whole world goes away and I only know one thing: that I'm gonna win and they're gonna lose. I like that feelin'.
Buffy: Well, sure. Beats that dead feeling you get when they win and you lose.

Joyce: Unless, I mean, you heard her. She loves the slaying. Couldn't she take over for you?
Buffy: Mom, no one can take over for me.
Joyce: But you're going to college next year. I think it would be...
Buffy: Mom, the only way you get a new Slayer is when the old Slayer dies.
Joyce: Then that means you... When did you die? You never told me you died!
Buffy: No, i-it was just for a few minutes.
Joyce: Oh, I hate this. I hate your life.
Buffy: Mom, I...
Joyce: Look, I-I know you didn't choose this, I know it chose you. I have tried to march in the 'Slayer Pride' parade, but... I don't want you to die. Oh...
Buffy: I'm not gonna die. I know how to do my job. Besides, like you said, I've got help now. I've got all the help I can stand.

Giles: What you must realize, Buffy, is that you and Faith have very different temperaments.
Buffy: Yeah, and mine's the sane one. The girl's not playing with a full deck, Giles. She has almost no deck. She has a three.
Giles: You said yourself that she-she killed one. Sh-she-she's just a plucky fighter who got a little carried away. Which is natural. She's focused on the slaying. She doesn't have a whole other life here, as you do.
Buffy: She doesn't need a life. She has mine.
Giles: I think you're being a little...
Buffy: No, I'm being a lot. I know that. But she nearly got us both killed. The girl needs help.

Giles: The, um, vampires that attacked you, can you furnish me with some details that might help me trace their lineage? I mean, ancient or-or-or modern dress. Amulets, cultish tattoos...
Buffy: Uh, no tats. Crappy dressers. And, uh... Oh, the one that nearly bit me mentioned something about kissing toast. He lived for kissing toast.
Giles: You mean 'Kakistos'?
Buffy: Maybe it was taquitos. Maybe he lived for taquitos. What?
Giles: Kakistos.
Buffy: Is that bad?
Giles: 'Kakistos' is Greek. It means the worst of the worst. It's also the name of a vampire so old that his hands and feet are cloven.
Buffy: Now, this guy shows up two days ago, right? Right around the same time my bestest new little sister makes the scene.
Giles: You think he and Faith are connected?
Buffy: Giles, there are two things that I don't believe in: coincidence and leprechauns.
Giles: Well, Buffy, it's entirely possible that they both arrived here by chance simultaneously.
Buffy: Okay, but I was right about the leprechauns, right?
Giles: As far as I know, yes.
Buffy: Good. Okay, you get England on the phone. I'm gonna talk to Faith, see if 'khaki trousers' rings...
Giles: Kakistos.
Buffy: Kakistos rings a bell. Or an alarm.

Scott: How are you?
Buffy: Uh, o-okay. You know, I-I gotta...
Scott: I know, be somewhere else, right? Think of this as my last-ditch effort. I realize that one more is gonna qualify as stalking. I've given it a lot of thought--some might say too much thought--to, to how I might be a part of your life. It begins with conversation. We all know this. Maybe over a cup of coffee, or maybe at the Buster Keaton festival playing on State Street all this weekend.
Buffy: You know, come to think of it, I-I don't think I've given a fair chance to... Buster Keaton. I... I like what I've seen of him so far. I... I think it might be time to see a little more.
Scott: Keaton is key. Oh. Um, I got you a little present. The guy in the retro shop said that it represents friendship, and that's something I would very much like to have with you. You like?
Buffy: I can't. I-I-I-I can't do this.
Scott: Okay. I get the message.

Buffy: And what was that? Faith, you came here for a reason. I can help.
Faith: You can mind your own business. I'm the one that can handle this.
Buffy: Yeah. You're a real bad-ass when it comes to packing. What was that you said about my problem? Gotta deal and move on? Well, we have the 'moving on' part right here. What about dealing? Is that just something you're gonna dump on me?
Faith: You don't know me. You don't know what I've been through. I'll take care of this, all right?
Buffy: Like you took care of your Watcher? He killed her, didn't he?
Faith: They don't have a word for what he did to her. Oh, what now?
Buffy: Faith, you run, he runs after you.
Faith: That's where the head start comes in handy.

Buffy: Faith, what happened?
Faith: I... I was there when he killed my Watcher, and I saw what he did to her... what he was gonna do to me. I tried to stop him, but I... I couldn't. And I ran.
Buffy: Faith, first rule of slaying: don't die. You did the right thing. Okay? You didn't die. Now you do the math. One of him, two of us.

Giles: The council has approved our request. Faith is to stay here indefinitely. I'm to look after you both until a new Watcher is assigned.
Buffy: Good. She really came through in the end. She had a lot to deal with, but she did it. She got it behind her.

Buffy: Angel was cured.
Giles: I'm sorry?
Buffy: When I killed him, Angel was cured. Your spell worked at the last minute, Will. I was about to take him out, and, um... something went through him... and he was Angel again. He-he didn't remember anything that he'd done. He just held me. Um, but i-it was... it was too late, and I, I had to. So I, I told him that I loved him... and I kissed him... and I killed him. I don't know if that helps with your spell or not, Giles.
Giles: Uh, yes, I, I believe it will.
Willow: I'm sorry.
Buffy: It's okay. I've been holding on to that for so long. Felt good to get it out. I'll see you guys later.
Willow: Giles, I know you don't like me playing with mystical forces, but I can really help with this binding spell.
Giles: There is no spell.

Buffy: Hey. Uh, I was, um, I was waiting for you to get out of class.
Scott: Oh. Um, why?
Buffy: Um... There was someone a while ago, and, uh, the ring sort of confused me. But I liked what you said about friendship. I liked it a lot. And Buster Keaton. Big fun. And I'm capable of big fun even though there's no earthly way you could possibly know that about me. Wow. If I knew I was gonna go on this long, I probably would've brought some water. Uh, what I'm trying to say is, um... if you would still like to go to the film festival--and I would understand it if you didn't--I'd pretty much love to go with you.
Scott: Uh... Ahem. I don't know, Buffy. I'm, I'm really gonna have to think about this. Okay. You know what, I thought about it, and I'm in. When do you want to go?
Buffy: Uh, well, I have one thing that I have to do tonight, and then I'm good.
Scott: Good.


The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

Well, we try not to get killed. That's part of our whole mission statement. 'Don't get killed.'
-Willow (Anne)


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