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End of Days Quotes
End of Days Quotes

Caleb: So… you found it. Not impressed. 'Cause the question now, girly-girl, is can you pry it from solid rock before I come over there and— Darn…

Caleb: Now before you go hurtin' yourself with that thing, why don't you do yourself a courtesy and hand it over now?
Buffy: Yeah? You want it?
Caleb: You don't even know what you got there.
Buffy: I know you're backing away.

Andrew: It was pretty amazing. A whole grocery store, just abandoned. Food lying around everywhere… well, the produce was on its way to funky town but… the apples still look pretty good so everyone should check those out.
Giles: Oh, Jaffa Cakes!

Amanda: I think we got punished.
Buffy: What?
Kennedy: We… we followed her. And it was—
Vi: It didn't work out.
Buffy: You guys, it was a trap. It's not her fault. That could have just as easily happened to me.
Caridad: So are you… are you like back?
Buffy: I don't know. I guess I'm not leaving.
Kennedy: So we got a plan now or anything?
Buffy: Yeah, there's a plan. Get ready. Times up.
Amanda: I still think we got punished.

Buffy: I think it's maybe some kind of scythe. The only thing I know for sure is that it made Caleb back off in a hurry.
Willow: So it's true. Scythe matters.
Giles: And ignoring that, I'd just like to point out that this is really quite ingenious.
Buffy: Kills strong bodies three ways.
Willow: And you say you sense something when you hold it?
Buffy: Not much but it's strong. And I knew it belonged to me. I just knew it.
Giles: In addition to being ancient, it's clearly mystical.
Buffy: Yeah, I figured that one out when I King Arthured it out of the stone.
Willow: So maybe it's like some kind of traditional Slayer weapon.
Giles: I can't imagine how something like this could exist without my having heard of it.
Buffy: Well, the good guys aren't traditionally known for their communication skills.

Andrew: I liked the real bandages better. These bedsheets are awfully festive.
Anya: Yeah, they're going to look like mortally wounded Easter baskets.

Anya: Yep. Many of these girls will die. Slaughterhouse is what it is.
Potential: What?
Anya: Oh… trying to talk will just kill you sooner.

Buffy: You got it?
Xander: Wait. I'm not to the "got it" place yet. I'm still in the neighborhood of "you gotta be kidding."
Buffy: You know it's for the good.
Xander: I don't. Buffy, do you get that? If I do this, that's it for me for this fight. I feel like you're putting me out to pasture.
Buffy: Of course I'm not putting you out to pasture. What does that even mean?
Xander: Well, you know, it's like… when a cow gets old and loses an eye or its ability to be milked. The farmer takes it and puts it in a different pasture so it won't have to… fight… with the priests. Look, I don't need you to protect me.
Buffy: I'm not.
Xander: I got hurt but I'm not done. I can still fight.
Buffy: I know. That's why I need you to do this. Xander, I need someone that I can count on no matter what happens.
Xander: I just always thought that I would… that I would be there with you, you know, for the end.
Buffy: Hey!
Xander: Not that this is the end!
Buffy: Thanks a lot.
Xander: No, no, no… by "the end" I meant in a heroic, uplifting way. See I'm still optimistic. You're just thrown off a little by this gritty-looking eye patch.
Buffy: I know what you meant.
Xander: I should be at your side. That's all I'm saying.
Buffy: You will be. You're my strength, Xander. You're the reason I've made it this far. I trust you with my life. That's why I need you to do this for me.
Xander: Okay.
Buffy: Also, you can't shoot a bow and arrow anymore and every time you pick up a sword, I worry that you're going to break one of our good lamps.
Xander: Hey!
Buffy: Don't look at me. You're the one who said I'm gonna die.
Xander: I never said that you were going to die. I implied that you were going to die. It's totally different.
Buffy: Yeah, okay. Sure.
Xander: Besides, if you die, I'll just bring you back to life. That's what I do.

Dawn: Xander, my crossbow is not out here. I told you, I don't leave crossbows around all willy-nilly. Not since that time with Miss Kitty Fantastico.
Xander: Hey, did you know I have to take a driving test every year now?
Dawn: Because you're old?
Xander: No, because of my eye. It's a whole state law. They don't trust my depth perception anymore.
Dawn: That sucks.
Xander: And you know what's even worse? All the stupid "it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye" jokes. "Hey, Xander, so no more fun and games, huh?"
Dawn: Giles was just having fun with you.
Xander: That's not the point. It's an obvious joke. It would be like someone calling me a cyclops.
Dawn: Okay, so not that funny.
Xander: I mean, give me some "eye of the beholder" jokes, you know? Or some "eye for an eye" jokes or maybe even a post-modern I, Claudius joke. It's about standards, Dawnie.

The First/Buffy: Face it. Your strength is waning. It has been quite some time since we… merged.
Caleb: Maybe you're right. Okay. Let's do it.
The First/Buffy: Boy, you sure know how to romance a girl. No flowers, no dinner, no tour of the rectory. Just "Okay, I'm ready. Let's do it." Help me. My knees are weak.
Caleb: Watch what you say now. You're startin' to sound like her. This is a sacred experience for me.
The First/Buffy: And for me as well. Look, when this is all over and our armies spring forth and our will sweeps the world, I will be able to enter every man, woman and child on this earth, just as I enter you.
Caleb: Are you tryin' to make me jealous?
The First/Buffy: I'm trying to make you a god.
Caleb: I am thy humble servant… and I am ready to serve thee.

Faith: It's old… it's strong and it feels like… like it's mine. I guess that means it's yours.
Buffy: It belongs to the Slayer.
Faith: Slayer in charge… which I'm guessing is you.
Buffy: I honestly don't know. Does it matter?
Faith: It never mattered to me. Somebody has to lead. Let's vote for Chao-ahn. It's harder to lead people into a deathtrap if you don't speak English.
Buffy: It wasn't your fault.
Faith: I'm really not looking for forgiveness.
Buffy: You're not?
Faith: What do you want me to say? I blew it.
Buffy: You didn't blow it.
Faith: Tell that to—
Buffy: People die. You lead them into battle, they're going to die. It doesn't matter how ready you are or how smart you are… war is about death. Needless, stupid death.
Faith: So here's the laugh riot. My whole life I've been a loner.
Buffy: Is that the funny part? Did I miss something?
Faith: I'm trying to—
Buffy: Sorry! Sorry. Go.
Faith: No ties, no buddies, no relationships that lasted longer than… well, Robin lasted pretty long. Boy's got stamina.
Buffy: Principal Wood? And you? And in my—
Faith: Don't tell me you two got wriggly?
Buffy: No! No, we're just good friends… or mortal enemies depending on which day of the… Was that the funny part?
Faith: Okay, the point. Me, by myself, all the time. I'm looking at you, everything you have and, I don't know… jealous. Then there I am, everybody's looking to me, trusting me to lead them and I've never felt so alone in my entire life.
Buffy: Yeah.
Faith: And that's you, every day. Isn't it?
Buffy: I love my friends. I'm very grateful for them. But that's the price of being a Slayer.
Faith: There's only supposed to be one. Maybe that's why you and I can never get along. We're not supposed to exist together.
Buffy: Also, you went evil and were killing people.
Faith: Good point. Also a factor.
Buffy: But you're right. I mean, I guess everyone's alone but being a Slayer? There's a burden we can't share.
Faith: And no one else can feel it. Thank god we're hot chicks with superpowers.
Buffy: Takes the edge off.
Faith: Comforting.
Buffy: Mm-hmm.

Spike: Honey, you're home.
Buffy: Yeah.
Spike: And you did it. Fulfilled your mission, found the Holy Grail… or the holy hand grenade or whatever the hell that is.
Buffy: Right now we're going with scythe. You like?
Spike: Well, pointy and wooden is not exactly a look I want to know better but it does have flair. I can see why a girl would ditch a fella for one of these.

Spike: That's fine. You don't have to get shirty about it.
Buffy: I'm not shirty. And what is shirty? That's not even a word.
Spike: All right, all right. Big secret mission. It's fine.
Buffy: It's not a secret. Well, I mean, it is but that's the point of the mission. Find out the secret. This thing was forged by… I don't even know. I mean, something about a tomb on unconsecrated ground. That's what I have to do. I need to find out what this is and why I have it.

Buffy: You're a dope!
Spike: I'm a what?
Buffy: You're a dope and a bonehead and you're shirty!
Spike: Have you gone completely Carrot-Top?
Buffy: Do you see this? This may actually help me fight my war. This might be the key to everything. And the reason I'm holding it is because of you. Because of the strength that you gave me last night. I am tired of defensiveness and weird mixed signals. You know what? I have Faith for that. Let's just get to the truth here, okay? I don't know how you felt about last night but I will not—
Spike: Terrified.
Buffy: Of what?
Spike: Last night was… God, I'm such a jerk. I can't do this.
Buffy: Spike…
Spike: It was the best night of my life. If you poke fun at me, you bloody well better use that 'cause I couldn't bear it. It may not mean that much to you but—
Buffy: I just told you it did.
Spike: Yeah, I hear you say it but… I've lived for soddin' ever, Buffy. I've done everything. I've done things with you I can't spell… but I've never been close… to anyone. Least of all you. Until last night. All I did was hold you, watch you sleep… and it was the best night of my life. So yeah, I'm terrified.
Buffy: You don't have to be.
Spike: Were you there with me?
Buffy: I was.
Spike: What does that mean?
Buffy: I don't know. Does it have to mean something?
Spike: No, not right now.
Buffy: Maybe when…
Spike: No, let's just leave it.
Buffy: Okay.
Spike: We'll go be heroes.

Andrew: Oh, this one has oxygen tanks.
Anya: They'd only be useful if something big was attacking, and then we could shove one down their throat and blow 'em up like Roy Scheider did with that shark in "Jaws."
Andrew: You are the perfect woman.
Anya: I've often thought so. Wanna rob?
Andrew: Let's rob.

Andrew: Oh, and there's a box of ointment here. I used one of these on a rash once.
Anya: Oh, show me.
Andrew: Well, it's healed up but it was red and crusty with these little itchy places.
Anya: Show me the box full of ointments, you little freak.

Andrew: So how come you're here? I mean, you could just go, right?
Anya: Yeah. I did once before.
Andrew: Before what?
Anya: Well, there was this other apocalypse this one time and… well, I took off. But this time, I don't know…
Andrew: Well, what's different?
Anya: Well, I guess I was kinda new to being around humans before. But now I've seen a lot more, gotten to know people, seen what they're capable of and… I guess I just realized how amazingly screwed up they all are. I mean, really, really screwed up in a monumental fashion.
Andrew: Oh.
Anya: And they have no purpose that unites them so they just drift around blundering through life until they die… which they know is coming yet every single one of them is surprised when it happens to them. They're incapable of thinking about what they want beyond the moment. They kill each other, which is clearly insane… and yet here's the thing. When it's something that really matters, they fight. I mean, they're lame morons for fighting but they do. They never… they never quit. So I guess I will keep fighting, too.
Andrew: That was kind of beautiful. You love humans.
Anya: I do not!
Andrew: Yes, you do. You love them…
Anya: Stop it! I don't love them and I'll kill you if you tell anybody.
Andrew: I won't tell anybody. I won't get a chance to, anyway.
Anya: I don't know, you might survive.
Andrew: No, you might survive. You know how to handle a weapon and you've been in this world for like a thousand years. I'm not so… I don't think I'll be okay. I'm cool with it. I think I'd like to finish out as one of those lame humans trying to do what's right.
Anya: Yeah.
Andrew: So… wheelchair fight?

Guardian: I'd forgotten. I'd forgotten how young you would be. Comes from the waiting. The mind plays tricks. I see you've found our weapon.
Buffy: Who are you?
Guardian: One of many. Well… time was. Now I'm alone in the world.
Buffy: So what are you? Some kind of ghost?
Guardian: No, I'm as real as you are. Just… well, let me put it this way: I look good for my age. I've been waiting. You pulled it out of the rock. I was one of those who put it in there.
Buffy: What is it?
Guardian: A weapon. A scythe. Forged in secrecy for one like you who— I'm sorry. What's your name?
Buffy: Buffy.
Guardian: No, really. We forged it in secrecy and kept it hidden from the Shadow Men who—
Buffy: Yeah, met those guys. Didn't really care too much for 'em.
Guardian: Ah, yes. Then you know. And they became the Watchers and the Watchers watched the Slayers… but we were watching them.
Buffy: Oh, so you're like… what are you?
Guardian: Guardians. Women who want to help and protect you. We forged this centuries ago, halfway around the world.
Buffy: Hence the Luxor Casino theme.
Guardian: Forged there, it was put to use right here… to kill the last pure demon that walked upon the earth. The rest were already driven under. And then there were men here, and then there were monks. And then there was a town… and now there is you. And the scythe remained hidden.
Buffy: I don't understand. How is it possible that we didn't know any of this?
Guardian: We hid, too. We had to until now. We're the last surprise.
Buffy: Does this mean I can win?
Guardian: That is really up to you. This is a powerful weapon.
Buffy: Yeah.
Guardian: But you already have weapons. Use it wisely and perhaps you can beat back the rising dark. One way or another, it can only mean an end is truly near.
Caleb: I'm sorry, I didn't catch that last part on account of her neck snappin' and all. Did she say the end is near… or here?

Xander: Hey, Dawn. Dawn, you awake?
Dawn: What happened?
Xander: I thought you might say that.
Dawn: Actually, I meant to say "what the hell happened?"
Xander: It was chloroform.
Dawn: Color forms? What?
Xander: Chloroform. Are you still loopy?
Dawn: Sorry about that. Someone knocked me out with chloroform.

Angel: Hey. I was never much for preachers.
Buffy: Angel.
Angel: You look good.
Buffy: You look timely. And also good.
Angel: Heard you maybe needed a hand. Ah. This one of those things you have to finish yourself?
Buffy: Really kinda is.

The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

It's all part of the glamorous world of vampire slayage.
-Buffy (Out of Mind, Out of Sight)

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