Spike: "Bleedin' crime, is what it is. Jackin' up the bar price to pay for fixin' up
this sinkhole. Not my fault insurance doesn't cover act of troll."
Buffy: "Gee, maybe it's time you found a new place to patronize."
Spike: "I've half a mind to! Especially since the flowering onion got remodeled off
the sodding menu. 'S the only thing this place had going for it."
Xander: "Hey, uh, Evil Dead, you're in my seat."
Spike: "Bugger it."
Anya: "Xander, I think you may have hurt his feelings."
Xander: "And you should never hurt the feelings of a brutal killer. You know, that's,
uh, that's actually some pretty good advice."
Buffy: "Poor Will. Still getting those headaches?"
Willow: "Fewer and further between, but... yep, they're still exercising their visitation rights."
Tara: "Honey, in case you didn't hear me the first six thousand times, no more teleportation
Xander: "The point is, I work hard for that money."
Spike: "And you're saying I didn't?"
Xander: "You stole it."
Spike: "And you're making it into very hard work!"
Xander: "Listen, bleach boy, I don't have a chip in my head. I can do far more damage to
you than you can ever do to me."
Spike: "Yeah? Like you could ever hurt me."
Joyce: "Well, I'm relieved that you're home. Because to be honest, I wasn't feeling all that
safe with you gone... At first. And then I, um, remembered that, um, Rupert was here and I felt
much, much safer."
Giles: "Yes, well, thank you for the little backpedal, but uh, I'm forced to agree that
I'm... barely an adequate substitute for a Slayer in the house."
Willow: "I just don't see why he couldn't end up with Esmerelda. They could have the
wedding right there. Beneath the very bell-tower where he labored thanklessly for all those years."
Tara: "No, see, it can't, it can't end like that, 'cause all of Quasimodo's actions were
selfishly motivated. He had no moral compass, no understanding of right. Everything he did, he
did out of love for a woman who would never be able to love him back. Also, you can
tell it's not gonna have a happy ending when the main guy's all bumpy."
Willow: "What did you think, Buffy?"
Buffy: "The test isn't till tomorrow, right? I don't have an opinion till then."
Willow: "But, you read it, right?"
Buffy: "Kinda not. I rented the movie."
Tara: "Oh, with, um, with Charles Laughton?"
Buffy: "I don't know. Was he one of the singing gargoyles?"
Willow: "Oh boy."
Buffy: "What, I, I'm kidding!"
Spike: "Why are you- Does Buffy know you're here?"
Dawn: "Yeah, right. 'Cause nothing would make her happier than to find out I'm hanging
out after school in the vampire's lair. Especially yours."
Spike: "Go home then."
Dawn: "I don't feel like it right now."
Spike: "Well, you can't bloody well stay here."
Dawn: "Why not?"
Spike: "Because, I've got things to do. Bad, evil things! That are not for a child's
Dawn: "I'm not a child. I'm not even human. Not originally."
Spike: "Yeah, well, originally I was. I got over it. Doesn't seem to me it matters very
much how you start out."
Dawn: "That's smart. I get that. I like how you talk to me like I can understand things.
Everyone else is being all... twitchy and secretive."
Spike: "They're just trying to keep you safe, I expect."
Dawn: "I feel safe with you."
Spike: "Take that back!"
Buffy: "Why doesn't that register with you? Crypt plus vampire equals bad."
Dawn: "'Cause it was Spike!"
Buffy: "Hanging out with Spike is not cool, Dawn, okay? It is, it is dangerous, and... icky."
Dawn: "I don't think Spike's icky."
Buffy: "Yeah, well, think again, sister- You have a crush on him."
Dawn: "No I don't! It's just, he's got cool hair, and he wears cool leather coats and
stuff. And he doesn't treat me like an alien."
Dawn: "I like hanging out with him is all. And even if I did have a crush, he wouldn't notice in
a million years. Not with you around."
Buffy: "What does that mean?"
Dawn: "Spike's totally into you. Oh, come on. You didn't notice? Buffy, Spike is
completely in love with you."
Xander: "So, tell me again what we're looking for?"
Xander: "Ooooh-kay. Could you give me a clue about what kind of clues?"
Buffy: "Something. Anything."
Buffy: "I-it's just that... Dawn... said that..."
Buffy: "Forget it."
Buffy: "She thinks that... she said that... Spike's in love with me. I'm not joking."
Xander: "Oh, I hope not. It's funnier if it's true."
Buffy: "I'm serious. Xander, this is serious!"
Xander: "All right."
Buffy: "It's creepy."
Xander: "No. Not creepy. 'Cause it's not real! I mean, how upset can you really get over one
of Spike's... fevered daydreams that's not gonna happen?"
Buffy: "I guess."
Xander: "So, where did Dawn, how did she come to this extremely... entertaining
Buffy: "She was hanging out with Spike. I think she has a crush on him."
Buffy: "I mean, I always knew that he had this... weird fixation with me..."
Xander: "I'm the one she has a crush on! Me!"
Buffy: "There's nothing here. Let's go."
Xander: "It's always been me! Big funny Xander! Oh, what, she just suddenly decides I'm
not the cool one any more? Why is that okay?"
Spike: "I got a bit of info you might be keen on knowin'."
Buffy: "Sorry, all out of cash. Why don't you hit on Giles - hit up Giles."
Spike: Well, that was sad. I'm embarrassed for our kind. So. Should we chase after 'em, then? They couldn't have gone far."
Buffy: "These vamps have been here for a while. They've nested."
Spike: "So... you're saying they're a couple of poofters?"
Buffy: "What... is this? The late-night stakeout, the bogus suspects, the flask? Is this a date?"
Spike: "A d- Please! A date? You are completely off your bird! I mean - Do you want it to be?"
Buffy: "Oh my god. Oh ... oh no. Are you out of your mind?"
Spike: "It's not so unusual. Two people... in the workplace... feelings develop."
Buffy: "No! No, no, feelings do not develop. No feelings."
Spike: "You can't deny it. There's something between us."
Buffy: "Loathing. Disgust."
Spike: "Heat. Desire."
Buffy: "Please! Spike, you're a vampire."
Spike: "Angel was a vampire."
Buffy: "Angel was good!"
Spike: "And I can be too. I've changed, Buffy."
Buffy: "What, that chip in your head? That's not change. Tha-that's just... holding you
back. You're like a serial killer in prison!"
Spike: "Women marry 'em all the time!"
Spike: "But I'm not... like that. Something's happening to me. I can't stop thinking about you."
Spike: "And if that means turning my back on the whole evil thing-"
Buffy: "You don't know what you mean! You don't know what feelings are!"
Spike: "I damn well do! I lie awake every night!"
Buffy: "You sleep during the day!"
Spike: "Yeah, but - You are missing the point. This is real here. I love-"
Buffy: "Don't! Don't say it. I'm going. She starts to walk toward the door again."
Spike: "Oh, come on, we need to talk-"
Buffy: "We don't need to do anything! Okay, there is no we! Understand?"
Spike: "So, uh, let me get this straight. Darla got mojo'd back from the beyond... you vamped
her... and now she and you are working on turning Angel into his own bad self again."
Spike: "Sounds fun."
Drusilla: "It is. Like lollipops at the circus. Although... didn't care for Angelus
setting us on fire."
Spike: "And this has got you, what, all nostalgic now, has it?"
Drusilla: "I want us to be a family again, my William."
Drusilla: "You're a killer. Born to slash... and bash... and... oh, bleed like beautiful poetry.
No little tinker-toy could ever stop you from flowing."
Spike: "But the pain... love, you don't understand, it's... it's searing. It's, um,
Drusilla: "All in your head. I can see it. Little bit of... plastic, spiderwebbing out nasty blue
shocks. And every one is a lie. Electricity lies, Spike. It tells you you're not a bad dog, but you are."
Harmony: "Who is - oh, wait. I get it. Our little sex game was just the beginning. Now
you've gone and picked up some cheap queen of the damned to dress up like your precious Drood-zilla."
Harmony: "You'd better not be thinking what I think you're thinking. 'Cause my answer is
the same as always. No threesomes unless it's boy, boy, girl. Or Charlize Theron."
Spike: "Harm, you moron, this is Drusilla."
Harmony: "Oh. Well, you've got some nerve showing up here like this. After all this time.
After breaking my sweet boo-boo's heart. Do you have any idea how hard it's been to break down
the walls he put up after you left? I mean, serious trust issues."
Harmony: "So it's no use you crawling back to him, 'cause Spikey don't play that game any
Spike: "It's been fun while it lasted, Harm, but I think it'd be best now if you hit the road."
Harmony: "Why? Because she's back?"
Spike: "No. Because I am."
Willow: "Well, he... he actually told you? He, he said, 'I love you'?"
Buffy: "Well, I-I didn't let him get that far, but... I could see the words coming."
Joyce: "Honey, did you... somehow, unintentionally, lead him on in any way? Uh, send him
Buffy: "Well, I... I do beat him up a lot. For Spike that's like third base."
Willow: "Buffy, um... I'm really worried."
Joyce: "So am I. He could become dangerous."
Buffy: "Not really. As long as it's still chips ahoy in Spike's head he can't hurt me, or any of
us. You know, besides, this'll probably just blow over. You know? It's just some weird Spike
thing. He'll have the hots for some gak demon before we know it."
Willow: "I don't know. Uh, these things can, can become pretty twisted."
Joyce: "Yeah, and Spike, I mean, he's..."
Buffy: "Pretty twisted."
Joyce: "Better to nip this in the bud before-"
Buffy: "The bud nips me?"
Willow: "If you want, Buffy, I can go with. Back you up with some scowling."
Buffy: "Thanks, but... I think this is something I have to do myself. Besides, you know,
maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this, this whole thing's just been blown way out of proportion and...
he's already gone back to wanting me dead."
Willow: "Here's hoping."
Drusilla: "Not nice to change the game in mid-play, Spike. You've taken my chair and the
music hasn't stopped."
Spike: "Sorry, pet. My house, my rules."
Drusilla: "I think I shall be very cross with you when I'm free again."
Buffy: "What's going on?"
Spike: "Simple. I'm gonna prove something. I love you."
Buffy: "Oh my god."
Spike: "No, look at me! I... love you. You're all I bloody think about. Dream about.
You're in my gut... my throat... I'm drowning in you, Summers, I'm drowning in you. I can do without the laugh track, Dru."
Drusilla: "But it's so funny. I knew... before you did. I knew you loved the Slayer. The
pixies in my head whispered it to me."
Spike: "You can't tell me that there isn't anything there between you and me. I know you feel
Buffy: "It's called revulsion. And whatever you think you're feeling, it's not love. You can't
love without a soul."
Drusilla: "Oh, we can, you know. We can love quite well. If not wisely."
Spike: "You still don't believe. Still don't think I mean it. You want proof, huh? How's this? I'm gonna kill Drusilla for you."
Buffy: "Spike... The only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious."
Spike: "Oh, what... Ohh! Gaaah! What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women?
What the hell does it take? Why... do you bitches torture me?"
Buffy: "Which question do you want me to answer first?"
Spike: "Look, I, I'm at the end of my bleeding tether. You know? I don't even know why I
even bother, you know. This is your fault. You're the one to blame for all this."
Drusilla: "Am I?"
Spike: "Bloody right you are! If you hadn't left me for that chaos demon, I never
would have come back here! Never would have had this sodding chip in my skull! And you -
wouldn't be able to touch me, because this, with you, is wrong. I know it. I'm not a complete
idiot. You think I like having you in here? Destroying everything that was me, until all that's
left is you, in a dead shell. You say you hate it, but you won't leave. You know, what
I should just do, is get rid of both of you. Burn you. Cut you into little pieces so there
won't be any more bints to cock up things for Spi- Oh, great."
Harmony: "What about me, Spike? You forget about me again? The actual girlfriend?
I gave you the best... bunch of months of my life!"
Spike: "You can't just walk away from this."
Buffy: "What part of punching you in the face do you not understand?"
Spike: "So we had a fight. It's not our first, love, and it doesn't change anything."
Buffy: "It changes everything, Spike! I want you out. I want you out of this town, I
want you off this planet! You don't come near me, my friends, or my family again ever!
Spike: "No, it's not that easy. We have something, Buffy. It's not pretty, but it's
real, and there's nothing either one of us can do about it. Like it or not, I'm in your life,
you can't just shut me out."