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Conversations with Dead People
Conversations with Dead People Quotes

Jonathan: Of course I'm scared. Last time we were here, 33.3bar percent of us were flayed alive.
Andrew: Calm down. No one's getting flayed alive. We got a plan. We're gonna fix all that.
Jonathan: Wish I'd have stayed in Mexico.
Andrew: Ah, I didn't like it there. Everybody spoke Mexicalan.
Jonathan: You could've learned it. You learned the entire Klingon dictionary in two and a half weeks.
Andrew: That had much clearer transitive and intransitive rules, OK? Besides, I can't keep having those nightmares.
Jonathan: Me neither. Desde abajo te debora.
Andrew: "It eats you starting with your bottom."

Dawn: Anchovies, anchovies, you're so delicious. I love you more than all the other fishes.

Willow: Did I fall asleep?
Cassie: No, no, I'm here. I mean, not-not here here... it's kinda complicated. Kind of ironic, too, you know. I wrote all that intense poetry about the end, and here I am again. Chatting you up.
Willow: Yeah, ironic.
Cassie: I knew this would completely freak you out. It's just— she asked that I come talk to you. It's important.
Willow: She?
Cassie: Don't worry. I'm not gona hurt you or anything—
Willow: Who asked you? What are you talking about?
Cassie: She says she still sings.
Willow: What?
Cassie: Remember that time on the bridge when you sang to each other? Well, she says even though you can't hear it, she still sings to you.
Willow: Tara?

Dawn: Oh, come on. She is so dead. Well, he's clearly a psychopath. Is so. What? No, that is not Tom Hanks. Well, what channel are you on?

Holden: OK, um, junior year, spring production of Pippin, uh, I did the lighting design.
Buffy: I didn't see it.
Holden: But you'd helped me move the lighting board, and I dropped it on your foot.
Buffy: Right, foot. Yes, of course. History class. It's all coming back. Sorry.
Holden: Well, you know, it's not like I was a big part of your life or anything.
Buffy: No, I just—I didn't recognize you, you know, your face, all demon, and I think you've filled out a lot.
Holden: Oh, yeah, well I got into to Tae Kwon Do in a big way at Dartmouth, so...

Buffy: So what have you been up to?
Holden: Well, apparently dying. Uh, no, but other stuff. Uhh, you know, majoring in Psych. Really liking that. Uhh, took a year of to do an internship at the Sunnydale Mental Hospital.
Buffy: Wow. That's gotta be a... popular joint.
Holden: I—I keep telling them we ought to get a velvet rope and a bouncer. Hey, you remember Jason Wheeler, you know, "Crazy J"?
Buffy: Oh, yeah.
Holden: He always had that shtick of "Yeah, I'm crazy, I'm crazy."
Buffy: How is he?
Holden: Crazy. He's been in the chronic ward since graduation. Not really that funny, I guess.
Buffy: Ironic, sorta.

Holden: Oh, so I'm a vampire. How weird is that?
Buffy: Sorry.
Holden: No, no. Feels great. Strong. Like I'm connected to a powerful all-consuming evil that's gonna suck the world into a firey oblivion. How 'bout you?
Buffy: Not so much connected.

Buffy: I'm the slayer. It's sort of a thing.
Holden: So, what—you like fight vampires professionally? Or—
Buffy: Oh, I don't get paid. It's more like a calling. Since—even in school.
Holden: I heard a lot of rumors about you back then. You were all mysterious.
Buffy: I was?
Holden: Well, you were never around. A lot of kids thought you were dating some really old guy, or that you were just heavy religious. Scott Hope said you were gay.
Buffy: What? I dated that ringworm.
Holden: He says that about every girl he breaks up with. And then last year, big surprise, he comes out.

Holden: So, all that time, you were a slayer?
Buffy: The.
Holden: "The", like as in "the only one"?
Buffy: Pretty much.
Holden: Oh. So, when you said not connected, that was kind of a telling statement, wasn't it—?
Buffy: Ah, Psych 101 alert.
Holden: Well, I'm just saying.
Buffy: Yeah, what I really need is emotional therapy from the evil dead.
Holden: Hey, it was your phrase.

Jonathan: Maybe we should go get Buffy.
Andrew: No way.
Jonathan: We should just tell her what we know about this evil Danthazar.
Andrew: Think, McFly. Why would she believe us without any proof? We go to her empty-handed, and we'll be coolin' our heels in the clink in a Bell's microsecond.
Jonathan: I ain't goin' back to the big house. That place changes a man.
Andrew: That's why we need proof. Think of it as—as trial by fire. A quest.
Jonathan: Una questa.
Andrew: We find it. We alert the slayer. We help her destroy it. We save Sunnydale. Then we join her gang and possibly hang out at her house.

Andrew: You keep leaving me. I hate it when you leave me. One time you died, and I ended up a Mexican.
Warren: We've been over this. Now, that death thing was all part of the master plan. Come on, "If you strike me down..."
Andrew: "I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine." Of course. Do you think, maybe, Willow could kill me, too?
Warren: Hey, don't worry. If short round pulls off his end of the bargain, we'll both become gods.
Andrew: "That boy is our last hope."
Warren: "No, there is another."
Andrew: Wait, really? Who's our last hope?
Warren: No, I was just going with it. It was a thing. He's our last hope.

Willow: Tara, is it you?
Cassie: She's sorry she couldn't come herself.
Willow: Why didn't she? I don't understand... I mean, if you can manifest yourself...
Cassie: She just can't.
Willow: Why not? I don't understand.
Cassie: Because of what you did.
Willow: What?
Cassie: You killed people. You can't see her. That's just how it is. I'm sorry.
Willow: But—But she's talking to you? And-and she can hear me? Tara? Tara, I miss you. I miss you so much. Can she hear me? What's happening. Did she say anything? What? Did she go away?
Cassie: She's crying.
Willow: No. No, don't cry. Don't cry, sweetie. Talk to me.
Cassie: She misses you, too. She wishes she could touch you.
Willow: Me too. Oh, me, too. Oh, God, Tara, it hurts so much. Everyday, it's like this giant hole, and it's not getting better.
Cassie: It will. It can.
Willow: How? You're gone.
Cassie: But you're not. You're strong, like an Amazon, remember?
Willow: I do. I remember.

Buffy: My parents weren't exactly the paragon of stay-togetherey-ness. Maybe that's part of it. I think there're people out there who'd make it. I just... target the impossible ones... with deadly accuracy.
Holden: You think you do that on purpose? Maybe you're trying to protect yourself?
Buffy: Protecting myself? From heartbreak, misery, sexual violence, and possible death? Not so much.
Holden: From committing.
Buffy: I commit. I'm committed. I'm a committee.
Holden: So it's them? You're reaching out, they're just not coming through?
Buffy: It's different. I think you're confusing me because you're evil.
Holden: I just think you're in some pain here—which I do kind of enjoy 'cause I'm evil now—but you should just ease up on yourself. It's not exactly like you have the patent on bad relationships.
Buffy: Wouldn't it be cool if I did?

Holden: Oh, I have so much to learn. Come on, isn't this insane? I mean, I was afraid to talk to you in high school, and now we're, like, mortal enemies. Hey, wouldn't it be cool if we became nemeses?
Buffy: Is that how you say the word?
Holden: We're gonna have to fight to the death, aren't we?
Buffy: It's the time-honored custom.

Holden: Hey, I don't mean to be Count Buttinsky here, but you just don't seem as thrilled. Is it because we're gonna fight?
Buffy: 'S 'cause I'm gonna win.
Holden: Hello. Two years of Tae Kwon Do and vampire strength. I think somebody's counting their chickens.
Buffy: You're not leaving this graveyard. Can't let ya.
Holden: Do the words "superiority complex" mean anything to you?

Holden: Just answer me this: whose fault was your parents divorce?
Buffy: OK, you know, this is beyond evil. This is insane troll logic. What do my parents have to do with—?
Holden: I'm just curious. Your opinion.
Buffy: They both have a lot of—
Holden: Off the top of your head.
Buffy: My dad.

Holden: I was just wondering, is it possible, even a little bit, that the reason you have trouble connecting to guys is ecause you think maybe they're not worth it? Maybe you think you're better than them.
Buffy: Say, there's that bloodlust I was looking for.
Holden: Struck a nerve.
Buffy: I'm gonna strike a nerve cluster in a minute, you don't get off this. I don't remember you being this annoying.
Holden: You don't remember me at all.
Buffy: Yes, I do.
Holden: Yeah, like, after 30 minutes of reminding. And I don't take it personally because clearly you were in your own little world in high school. All chosen. All destiny. Who could live with that for seven years and not feel superior?
Buffy: I'm not. My God, if anything, I—
Holden: What?
Buffy: I just— if you knew what I've done, what I've let myself become. My best friends don't even— You'd laugh, you heard some of the things I've done to them.
Holden: Buffy, I'm here to kill you, not to judge you.
Buffy: The last guy I was with, it got really— I behaved like a monster, treated him like— But at the same time, I-I let him completely take me over. Do things to me that— I'm sorry. Wow, I didn't mean to get all true-confessions there. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Buffy: You son of a bitch!
Holden: What?
Buffy: I think I'm gonna kill you just a little bit more than usual.
Holden: Aw, come one. I mean, we had a moment. You opened up. It was really sweet. It make me want to bite you. I'm sorry if I overstepped my bounds. I'm just new to this mortal enemy stuff. Pretty fast learner, though, right?

Jonathan: Seeing the high school again, part of me wishes I could go back.
Andrew: Everything's shifting around. I feel like we're in Hellraiser. I hate Pinhead.

Buffy: See? You're dead. That enough of a moment for ya?
Holden: OK. But are you killing me 'cause I'm evil or because you opened up?
Buffy: Uhh! What is wrong with you?
Holden: Nothing. I got no worries. I'm dead. The biggest thing on my mind is whether or not Tricia Waldman came to my funeral or not. Do you remember her? Ohh— biteable.
Buffy: See, this is what I hate about you vampires. Sex and death and love and pain— it's all the same damn thing to you.
Holden: Well, you know it's—it's kind of a guy thing. We talk about nailing a girl, there's all this—
Buffy: No, it is not the same. With vampires, it is completely— Believe me, I know.
Holden: Oh, my God!
Buffy: Oh, your God what?
Holden: Oh, well, you know, not my God, because I defy him and all of his works, but— Does he exist? Is there word on that, by the way?
Buffy: Nothing solid.
Holden: Oh. I keep getting off topic because my mind is racing here. All right. I'll make a deal with you. We fight. To the death. Great. That last fight was just exhilarating. And I actually had a move coming up to block that stake. But you have to answer one question, and if I'm right, I get to ask anything— no secrets, no defensiveness, anything I want to know.
Buffy: What's your question?
Holden: Your last relationship— was it with a vampire?

Willow: I don't know where to start. Um, after Warren shot you—you know all about that, what happened? It was horrible. I was horrible. I—I lost myself, the regular me.
Cassie: Well, you were grieving.
Willow: A lot of people grieve. They don't make with the flaying. I hurt so many people.
Cassie: It was the power.
Willow: I am the power. It's in me. Did I mention the random destruction of property? The Magic Box is not so much a box now—
Cassie: The power is bigger than you are.
Willow: I know, but—
Cassie: Things are more clear where Tara is, where we are. We can see your path, and you have to stop. You can't use magic again, not ever.
Willow: Black magic, of course. But Giles says it isn't as simple as-as quitting it all cold-turkey—
Cassie: It's too dangerous. You can't take the chance that you'll lose control.
Willow: I-I don't want to. I-I can't. I never want to cause that kind of pain.
Cassie: Of course you don't.
Willow: So, I won't. I'm gonna be OK.
Cassie: She says...
Willow: What?
Cassie: You're not gonna be OK. You're gonna kill everybody.

Jonathan: We almost got this thing uncovered.
Andrew: Yep.
Jonathan: I hope Buffy'll know how to destroy it. 36-19-27! That's it! That was my locker combination. God, it's been bugging me all night.
Andrew: Dude, we spent the last few years trying to forget about high school. Why are you trying so hard to remember it?
Jonathan: I don't know. I guess I miss it. Don't you?
Andrew: Yeah, I really miss it.
Jonathan: No, I'm serious. I really miss it. Time goes by, and everything drops away. All the cruelty, all the pain, all that humiliation. It all washes away. I miss my friends. I miss my enemies. I miss the people I talked to every day. I miss the people who never knew I existed. I miss 'em all. I want to talk to them, you know. I want to find out how they're doing. I want to know what's going on in their lives.
Andrew: You know what? They don't wanna talk to you—all those people you just mentioned. Not one of them is sitting around going, "I wonder what Jonathan's up to right now." Not one of them cares about you.
Jonathan: Well, I still care about them. That's why I'm here.

Buffy: And the joke is... he loved me. I mean, in his own sick, soulless way, he really did care for me. But I-I didn't want to be loved.
Holden: Didn't you?
Buffy: I have all this power. I didn't ask for it. I don't deserve it. It's like... I wanted to be punished. I wanted to hurt like I thought I deserved. I sorta think—you know, this is, um, complicated. If you'd rather just fight...
Holden: Tell me.
Buffy: I feel like I'm worse than anyone. Honestly, I'm beneath them. My friends, my boyfriends. I feel like I'm not worthy of their love. 'Cause even though they love me, it doesn't mean anything 'cause their opinions don't matter. They don't know. They haven't been through what I've been through. They're not the slayer. I am. Sometimes I feel— this is awful—I feel like I'm better than them. Superior.
Holden: Until you can't win. And I thought I was diabolical—or, at least I plan to be. You do have a superiority complex. And you've got an inferiority complex about it. Kudos.
Buffy: It doesn't make any sense.
Holden: Oh, it makes every kind of sense. And it all adds up to you feeling alone. But, Buffy, everybody feels alone. Everybody is, until you die.

Willow: I'm gonna what?
Cassie: That's why I came. We needed to warn you.
Willow: You saw my path? W-what do you know? What—what did you see?
Cassie: You don't want to know what we saw.
Willow: Oh, God!
Cassie: But if you stop—completely. No more magic.
Willow: Right. Right. Stop. W-what about Giles? He made it seem like it was just as dangerous for me to quit completely, like I'll go off the deep end again—
Cassie: You can't. If you do so much as another spell—
Willow: I tried to stop. I-I tried. What if I can't do this?
Cassie: Don't think that way.
Willow: Well, how can I not? You're telling me I'm gonna murder all my friends. I'm not strong. I'm not an Amazon. I'm just me.
Cassie: Well, there is one thing—one thing you could do to stop it.
Willow: What? Anything.
Cassie: And you could see her. You wouldn't have to talk through me.
Willow: Tara?
Cassie: That's what you want, isn't it?
Willow: Of course.
Cassie: So go. Be with her. Everybody will be safe, and you'll be together again. It's not that bad. Really. It's just like going to sleep.
Willow: Who are you?

Buffy: What do you mean? How do you know Spike?
Holden: What do you mean, how? He was the guy that, um— oh, what's the word?
Buffy: Sired.
Holden: Yeah, he was the guy that sired me.

Joyce: Things are coming, Dawn. Listen, things are on their way. I love you, and I love Buffy, but she won't be there for you.
Dawn: What? Why are you—?
Joyce: When it's bad, Buffy won't choose you. She'll be against you.

Cassie: Suicide thing was too far, huh? Hmm. You seemed so ripe.
Willow: Tell me who you are.
Cassie: I stand by my opinion. The world would be a better place if you took a razorblade to your wrist—
Willow: Stop.
Cassie: I can see it now. Candlelight, the Indigo Girls playing, picture of your dead girlfriend on your bloody lap.
Willow: Stop it!
Cassie: Oh, baby, you left such a big hole. It hurt so bad. You don't know hurt. This last year's gonna seem like cake after what I put you and your friends through, and I am not a fan of easy death. Fact is, the whole good-versus-evil, balancing the scales thing—I'm over it. I'm done with the mortal coil. But believe me, I'm going for a big finish.
Willow: From beneath you, it devours.
Cassie: Oh, not it. Me.

The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

I seem to be having a slight case of nudity here.
But you're not a rat. So call it an upside.
-Buffy and Oz (Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered)

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