Buffy vs. Dracula Quotes
Buffy vs. Dracula Quotes
Buffy: Ha! Touchdown! Oh yeah. Go team me.
Riley: Anybody ever tell team you the quarterback throws like a girl?
Buffy: I do?
Xander: I'm exhausted just looking at those two. All the splashing and jumping and running... Shouldn't relaxing involve less exertion?
Anya: Absolutely. Exertion can lead to sweatiness.
Tara: Which can cause the pain and heartbreak of stinkiness. Better to just stay put.
Willow: I think we've just put our finger on why we're the sidekicks.
Willow: There you go. All set.
Giles: Thank you, Willow. Obstinate bloody machine simply refused to work for me.
Willow: Just call me the computer whisperer. Let's get scannin'. I want to see this puppy go.
Giles: Start with those."
Willow: Start? Where is finish?
Giles: Willow, um... you mustn't repeat what I'm about to say. Especially not to Buffy.
Giles: You promise?
Willow: Oh, god. Well, I guess. Now that I know there's something to know, I can't not know, just because I'm afraid somebody'll know I know, you know?
Giles: Did that mean yes?
Giles: We're doing all this because I, I want you and the others to have everything you need at your fingertips. You see, I'm, I'm going back to England.
Willow: You're... what? But you can't! You're... Buffy's Watcher! I mean, in a fired way, but...
Giles: Well, it's become quite obvious that Buffy doesn't need me. I-I don't say that in a self-pitying way, I'm, I'm quite proud, actually.
Willow: But what about the rest of us? We still need to be watched! Personally, I can't get through a day without a little hairy eyeball.
Joyce: Hey, you up for dessert? We could, uh, take a drive, get some ice cream.
Buffy: You know, I, I would, but I kinda have to get out on patrol.
Joyce: Now? It's 8:30.
Buffy: Well, vamps don't really care what time it is. You know, dark equals dinner bell.
Joyce: Right, of course. You know, I'm gonna have to get used to this place without you again. It gets so quiet.
Buffy: Who are you?
Dracula: I apologize. I assumed you knew. I am Dracula.
Buffy: Get out!
Willow: Xand... what if somebody had a secret, and that somebody promised somebody else that they wouldn't tell anyone.
Xander: News flash, Will. Everybody knows.
Willow: No, thi-this isn't about me and Tara.
Xander: Oh. Well, not that I wouldn't be all ears if you wanted to tell me a secret about you two. Even if it was very, very naughty.
Willow: Sorry, this is of the non-naughty variety.
Buffy: So lemme get this straight. You're... Dracula. The guy, the count.
Dracula: I am.
Buffy: And you're sure this isn't just some fanboy thing? Cause... I've fought more than a couple of pimply overweight vamps that called themselves Lestat.
Xander: Nice. Look who's got a bad case of dark prince envy.
Dracula: I have no interest in you. Leave us.
Xander: No, we're not going to "leave you." And where'd you get that accent, Sesame Street? Vun, two, three -- three victims. Mwa ha ha!
Buffy: Xander, I'm pretty sure that's Dracula.
Xander: Wow, really? Hey, sorry, man, I was... just jokin' around.
Buffy: I told you he'd heard of me, right? I mean, can you believe that? Count Famous heard of me.
Riley: I couldn't believe it the first twenty times you told us, but it's starting to sink in now.
Buffy: I'm sorry. Am I repeat-o-girl? I was just... blown away.
Riley: It's not that surprising that he's heard of you, Buffy. You are the slayer.
Buffy: I guess. Just - the way he said it, you know, I mean, he made it sound so...
Willow: Sexy? I bet he made it sound sexy.
Buffy: Kinda. He of the dark penetrating eyes and lilty accent.
Xander: I wonder if he knows Frankenstein.
Tara: You thought Dracula was sexy?
Willow: Oh! No. He, he was... yuck.
Anya: Right, except for the whole tall, dark, and handsome thing? Yucko.
Xander: How would you know?
Anya: Well, we hung out a few times. Back in my demon days, you know, once or twice. He's pretty cool. You know, from, from a whole... evil thing perspective.
Xander: Please. He was no big whoop.
Willow: No big whoop?? What about that thing where he turned himself into a bat? That was awesome!
Giles: It must have been, yes. I must admit, I'm sorry I missed that.
Willow: Me too! The whole time I was thinking, 'Gosh, I wish Giles were here, he'd know what to do!'
Giles: There's a great deal of myth about Dracula. I imagine the trick to defeating him lies in separating the fact from the fiction.
Willow: Great point! That is so Giles, to think of something like that, you know? That, that we... would have never...
Buffy: So we should take things slow with Dracula. I mean, he said that we would meet again, but I would like to avoid that until we do some serious homework.
Riley: I don't know. I mean, he may have a bunch of swell party tricks, but he's still just a vampire. I say we load up with stakes and crossbows and go after him now.
Anya: No, Buffy's right. Dracula's too slick to fall for the usual stuff.
Buffy: So we hold off. No killing until we know exactly what we're dealing with.
Riley: You're not just saying that because of those dark penetrating eyes of his, are you?
Buffy: No, his eyes were - There were - there was no penetration. Cross my heart.
Anya:" I doubt he'd remember me. I was just a silly young thing. I mean, like seven hundred or so. But he did say that this guy I cursed was doomed forever, which was really sweet, don't you think?
Anya: It was a great spell. I made this jerk incredibly fat, like a human minivan.
Anya: You should just mention my name if you see him again.
Xander: Or better yet, why don't you just go sit on top of a crypt and flaunt your neck cleavage until Dracula shows up? Then you two can talk private.
Xander: Great. Perfect. You know what? You're not so big. One round of old-fashioned fisticuffs, you'd fold like a bitty baby. Okay, let's do it. And no poofing. Come on, puffy shirt. Pucker on up, cause you can kiss your pale ass-
Xander: Yes master.
Dracula: You are strange and off-putting. Go now.
Xander: But master, how can I find- Brilliant. What an exit! Guy's a genius!
Riley: What can you tell me about Dracula?
Spike: Dracula? Poncy bugger owes me eleven pounds, for one thing.
Riley: You know him?
Spike: Know him? We're old rivals. But then he got famous, forgot all about his foes. I'll tell you what. That glory hound's done more harm to vampires than any slayer. His story gets out, and suddenly everybody knows how to kill us.
Dracula: You have been tasted.
Buffy: He was-
Dracula: Unworthy. He let you go. But the embrace... his bite... you remember.
Willow: Well, I think we have Dracula factoids.
Xander: Like any of that's enough to fight the dark master... bator.
Willow: He, he can read and control minds... appear in dreams...
Buffy: Uh huh.
Willow: Makes sense. That stare... he just kinda... looked right through you. Didn't you feel it, Buffy?
Buffy: No. No, I didn't.
Xander: See! Buffy didn't feel it. I think you're drawing a low of crazy conclusions about the unholy prince... bator.
Giles: The point is, though he goes through the motions of an intimate seduction, the end result is the same. He turns them into a vampire.
Xander: Well. That is intimate. Dracula's gifting these ladies with his own blood. And blood - Blood is life. According to them.
Xander: You're saying Dracula has some sort of freaky mind control over her? You're watching too many creature features, man.
Buffy: But it does seem like he has this... control over me, I... even though a big part of me is resisting.
Riley: No, that's okay. I shouldn't take this personally. I mean, what with Angel, I mean, it's understandable that there would be transference. I mean, they're both broody immortals.
Buffy: I am not transfer-y. I swear to you. I'm your girl, and I'm gonna stay that way.
Xander: Master? I deliver the slayer. She who you most desire. Sorry, whom. So now comes the immortality, right? You do the thing, and-
Dracula: Leave us. We must not be interrupted.
Xander: You bet.
Dracula: I knew you'd come.
Buffy: Why? Because I'm under your thrall? Well, guess again, pal.
Dracula: Put the stake down.
Buffy: Okay. Right. That... was not... you. I did that. I did that because... I wanted to... Maybe I should rethink that thrall thing.
Riley: I've lived in Sunnydale a couple of years now. Know what I've never noticed before?
Giles: Uh, a castle?
Riley: A big honking castle.
Dracula: Do you know why you cannot resist?
Buffy: Cause you're famous?
Dracula: There is so much I have to teach you. Your history, your power... what your body is capable of...
Buffy: I don't need to know.
Dracula: You long to. And you will have eternity to discover yourself. But first... a little taste.
Buffy: I won't let you.
Dracula: I didn't mean for me.
Xander: Nobody harms my master.
Riley: Your master?
Xander: You want him? You come through me.
Giles: Oh, good show, Giles. Uhh... at least you didn't get knocked out for a change. Oh... oh, ladies. You would... be the three sisters, yes? E-excellent, right. Uh, I'd heard that you were myth... obviously erroneous. Aah! Ooh, that's, uh, that, uh... tickles! Ooh, uh... oh, dear god.
Dracula: All those years fighting us. Your power so near to our own... and you've never once wanted to know what it is that we fight for? Never even a taste?
Buffy: If I drink that-
Dracula: I have not drunk enough for you to change. You must be near death to become one of us. And that comes only when you plead for it.
Buffy: I'm not hungry.
Dracula: No. Your craving goes deeper than that. You think you know... what you are... what's to come. You haven't even begun. Find it. The darkness. Find your true nature.
Buffy: Wow. That was gross.
Dracula: You are resisting.
Buffy: Looks like.
Dracula: Come here. Come to me."
Buffy: You know, I really think the thrall has gone out of our relationship. But I want to thank you for opening up my eyes a little.
Dracula: What is this?
Buffy: My true nature. You want a taste?
Riley: Come on, come on. Grab my hand.
Giles: Thank god you came.
Riley: Come on!
Giles: There was no possible escape. Oh, my shoe. Silly me, I'll just pop-
Riley: No no no, sir! No more chick pit for you. Come on.
Buffy: How do you like my darkness now?
Riley: Buffy! You okay?
Buffy: Yeah. Chock full of free will.
Giles: And Dracula?
Xander: Where is he?? Where's the creep that turned me into his spider-eating man-bitch?
Buffy: He's gone.
Xander: Dammit! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey!
Buffy: Check. No more butt-monkey.
Riley: It coulda been worse. At least you weren't making time with the dracu-babes like Giles here.
Giles: I was not making time! I, I was, uh, just about to kill those, uh, loathsome creatures when Riley interrupted me."
Riley: You were gonna nuzzle 'em to death?
Giles: Of course not! I was in complete... control.
Buffy: You think I don't watch your movies? You always come back. I'm standing right here!
Buffy: You haven't been my Watcher for a while. I haven't been training... and I haven't really needed to come to you for help.
Giles: I agree.
Buffy: And then this whole thing with Dracul ... it made me face up to some stuff. Ever since we did that spell where we called on the first slayer ... I've been going out a lot. Every night.
Buffy: Hunting. That's... what Dracula called it. And he was right. He understood my power better than I do. He saw darkness in it.
Buffy: I need to know more. About where I come from, about the other slayers. I mean, maybe... maybe if I could learn to control this thing, I could be stronger, I could be better. But... I'm scared. I know it's gonna be hard. And I can't do it... without you. I need your help. I need you to be my Watcher again.
Buffy: Boy, I just, I just keep talking, don't I? I'm sorry, you-you had something you wanted to say?
Giles: No... it's nothing.
Buffy: I'm outta here. Riley and I are going to the movies.
Joyce: Okay. Have a good time.
Buffy: What are you doing here?
Joyce: Buffy? If you're going out, why don't you take your sister?
Buffy and Dawn: Mom!