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As You Were Quotes
As You Were Quotes

Vamp: What's that smell? Geez, Slayer, is that you?
Buffy: I've been working!
Vamp: Where, in a slaughterhouse?!
Buffy: Double Meat Palace.
Vamp: Ohhh. You know what? Let's just call it a night. If it's all the same to you, and you've been eating that stuff, I'm not so sure I wanna bite you.
Buffy: You're dead! You smell like it! How do you get to say I'm the one who's stinky?
Vamp: Really, it's, it's cool, I'll just catch you next time.

Anya: See... this seating chart makes no sense. We have to do it again. We can't do it again. You do it.
Xander: The seating chart's fine. Let's get back to the table arrangements. I'm starting to have dreams of gardenia bouquets. I am so glad my manly coworkers didn't just hear me say that.
Anya: Will you stop wolfing down those chips? One more bag and you'll pop right out of your cummerbund. You're not even hungry, you're just nervous.
Xander: Yeah! Wedding, one week! We have friends, family, demons flying in, a to-do list getting no shorter, and do NOT take my chips.
Dawn: Hey guys! How's the soon-to-be-newlyweds? Nervous?
Anya/Xander: No!
Xander: Okay. I'll just be over here then.

Willow: Thanks. So how are Mr. and Mrs. High-Strung?
Dawn: I'm betting they explode.
Willow: You know, when I was little, I used to spend hours imagining what my wedding to Xander would be like. And now I look at them... I just think... "Nee-hee-hee!"
Dawn: You're awfully chipper tonight.
Willow: Can't hide it.
Dawn: Hmm. Big wedding coming up... lots of date possibilities... you and Tara are speaking again. You wanna call her? Invite her over?
Willow: Oh, no. Too soon for so bold a maneuver. But if I did call? She wouldn't hang up on me.
Dawn: That's progress!
Willow: Hence the happy.

Buffy: Riley.
Riley: Sorry to just drop in on you like this, Buffy.
Buffy: It's you.
Riley: It's me.
Buffy: You're here.
Riley: I know.
Buffy: And... were you always this tall?
Riley: Look, this isn't the way I wanted it. But something's come up, something big. We don't have much time. You understand?
Buffy: Not a word you've said so far.
Riley: Right. I should have known, anticipated. You're working.
Buffy: Well, just counter, not grill any more.
Riley: I want to explain, I just don't have time. I've been up for 48 hours straight tracking something bad, and now it's come to Sunnydale.
Buffy: My hat has a cow.
Riley: I know that I'm putting you on the spot, showing up like this, but... but you know, here we are. I need the best. I need you, Buffy. Can you help me?

Riley: Here. No offense, but this is black ops, and you look like a pylon.
Buffy: Ninja wear?
Riley: Battle gear. Lightweight Kevlar, state of the art.
Buffy: What a surprise.
Riley: Boys like toys. Put it on, thank me later.
Buffy: You won't look?
Riley: I'm a gentleman.

Riley: You know, there's not many people I'd ask to risk their life for me, Buffy. It's really good to see you.
Buffy: Thanks.
Riley: You're welcome. And Buffy... love the hair.

Anya: I think we died in this car on the way to the airport, and now we're stuck in hell.
Xander: The radio said no traffic.
Anya: It's a hell radio, of course it said that. We'll never get to the airport in time to pick up your stupid uncle.
Xander: It just gives my uncle Rory more time at the bar. Trust me, he'll be happy.
Anya: Great. So he can sleep off his drunken stupor on our newly re-upholstered couch.
Xander: He can't afford a hotel.
Anya: Why are you defending him?
Xander: I'm not. I hate my uncle. I hate my whole family. That's why I'm marrying you, to start a new family. Have children, make them hate us, then one day they'll get married, we'll sleep on their couch. It's the circle of life.

Xander: Why did we ever agree to have your friends, who are demons, and my family, who are monsters, stay at our place?
Anya: Well, I can only do so much, Xander. Planning this marriage is like staging the invasion of Normandy.
Xander: Without the laughs. We should have eloped.
Anya: No! I've been through too much planning this wedding, and it is going to happen. It is going to be our perfect, perfect day if I have to kill every one of our guests and half this town to do it.

Buffy: She's good.
Riley: She's a special one.
Buffy: How long have you been married?
Riley: Four months almost.
Buffy: Mazel tov. Any children?
Riley: Buffy, I meant to tell you. When the time was right. She caught up to us a hell of a lot faster than I would've guessed possible. She does that.
Buffy: So, you-you guys do this often, you know, the whole... husband-and-wife tag-team demon fighting thing?
Riley: Yeah, it's what brought us together. I almost feel sorry for the Suvolte. But not quite.

Sam: We're too late. Finn... how could you recruit the Slayer without filling her in on the objective?
Buffy: That'd be my question.
Sam: If we weren't under severe time constraints I'd seriously think about ripping you a new one.
Riley: Stand down, soldier.
Buffy: He's your boss, too?
Sam: Oh, he wishes. We better regroup. Buffy, I hate to impose further, but... you got a safe house?
Buffy: I, I have a house. I-I think it's safe. Sometimes you can't even leave.

Willow: Just so you know? I'm prepared to hate this woman any way you want.
Buffy: Thanks, but no. I don't wanna seem all petty.
Willow: Well, that's the beauty! You can't, but I can. Please. Let me carry the hate for the both of us.
Buffy: Go nuts.

Sam: Maybe not for you. I gotta tell you, Buffy, I'm a little bit intimidated. I mean, patrolling with the real live Slayer, you're like... Santa Claus, or Buddha, or something.
Buffy: Fat and jolly?
Sam: Legendary. And it's not just slayer status I'm talking about. It's you.
Buffy: Riley talks about me?
Sam: He didn't say anything for a long time, but I could tell. He was ripped up inside.
Buffy: Good thing he has you.
Sam: More like miraculous. I went down to Central America with the Peace Corps. One night, my entire infirmary got slaughtered by... I didn't know what they were. I got saved, quit the Corps, joined the squad. My first firefight, I met Riley. We started talking, you know, first about tactics, missions, stuff like that. And then about you.
Buffy: He thinks... I let him go.
Sam: Do you wish you hadn't?
Buffy: I wish things were different. I-I'm not trying to... I don't... uh, you know.
Sam: I didn't mean to put you on the spot, Buffy. There's no bad guys in this one. The only thing that could... help Riley work it out was time. Lots of time. Took him a year to get over you.
Buffy: I'm glad he's over me.
Sam: So, you seeing anyone new? Someone special?
Buffy: You know, I just take my time, you know, I don't... I don't wanna jump right into anything, don't wanna... you know... be defined by who I'm with.
Sam: Yeah, better no guy than the wrong guy, that's for sure.

Anya: You know, if you love Riley Finn so much, maybe you should just marry him.
Xander: He's taken. And that's not the point.
Anya: So you think that their marriage is better than ours, is that it?
Xander: No! But granted, I have a hard time imagining Nick and Nora Fury hiding out from their own relatives in the bathroom. And I have no idea what Riley and Mrs. Riley's wedding was like.
Anya: Well, you haven't shut up about them.
Xander: Well, they have a great marriage! And it bummed Buffy out, but I can see it. And Anya... I really have no clue what their wedding was like.
Anya: So our wedding... is not our marriage.
Xander: Separate things. One fills me with a dread akin to public speaking engagements.
Anya: And that would be the wedding.
Xander: Which will be over soon.
Anya: But our marriage...
Xander: That lasts forever.

Riley: By mission parameters I'm done here. But I have authorization to take the Doctor out. Do you want me to do that?
Buffy: Do I want you to... How can you ask me... I'm sleeping with hi-him. I'm sleeping with Spike.
Riley: I had actually noticed that.
Buffy: And then you come back... and did you wait until your life was absolutely perfect and then send that demon here so you could throw it in my face?
Riley: Look... you think this was easy for me?
Buffy: Yeah! I think it was a rollicking adventure, fun for the whole family.
Riley: I was terrified about seeing you again.
Buffy: Well, I'm sure my incredible patheticness softened the blow for you.
Riley: I don't know what you're talking about.
Buffy: Riley, please don't patronize-
Riley: Hey! You want me to say that I liked seeing you in bed with that idiot? Or that blinding orange is your very best color? Or that that... burger smell is appealing?
Buffy: You smelled the smell?
Riley: Buffy, none of that means anything. It doesn't touch you. You're still the first woman I ever loved... and the strongest woman I've ever known. And I'm not advertising this to the missus... but you're still quite the hottie.
Buffy: You know, it goes away after many bathings.
Riley: This isn't about who's on top. I know how lucky I am right now. I love my work, and I love my wife.
Buffy: I know. And I kinda love her too.
Riley: So you're not in the greatest place right now. And maybe I made it worse.
Buffy: No.
Riley: Wheel never stops turning, Buffy. You're up, you're down... it doesn't change what you are. And you are a hell of a woman.
Buffy: Riley, that night... I never got the chance... to tell you... how sorry I was. About what happened between us.
Riley: And you never have to.

Dawn: So you gonna say goodbye this time, or just... split all secret-agenty like last time?
Riley: Depends. I warrant a hug? Goodbye, Dawn.
Dawn: I thought it would suck less this time. It doesn't.

Buffy: It's over.
Spike: I've memorized this tune, luv. Think I have the sheet music. Doesn't change what you want.
Buffy: I know that. I do want you. Being with you... makes things... simpler. For a little while.
Spike: I don't call five hours straight a little while.
Buffy: I'm using you. I can't love you. I'm just... being weak, and selfish...
Spike: Really not complaining here.
Buffy: ...and it's killing me. I have to be strong about this. I'm sorry... William.

The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey!
-Xander (Buffy vs. Dracula)

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