Willow: Ah, the fumigation party.
Willow: It's an annual tradition. The closing of the Bronze for a few days to nuke the cockroaches?
Willow: It's a lot of fun... What's it like where *you* are?
Willow: So, we're talking about a guy?
Buffy: Not exactly a guy. For us to have a conversation about a guy, there'd have to be a guy for us to have a conversation about. Is that a sentence?
Willow: You lack a guy.
Buffy: I do. Which is fine with me, most of the time, but...
Willow: What about Angel?
Buffy: Angel? I can just see him in a relationship. 'Hi, honey, you're in grave danger. I'll see you next month.'
Willow: He's not around much, it's true.
Buffy: When he is around... it's like the lights dim everywhere else. You know how it's like that with some guys?
Willow: Oh, yeah!
Cordelia: Ouch! Please get your extreme oafishness off my two-hundred-dollar shoes!
Xander: I'm sorry, I was just...
Cordelia: ...getting off the dance floor before Annie Vega's boyfriend squashes you like a bug?
Xander: Oh, so you noticed.
Xander: Yeah, thanks for being so understanding.
Xander: Y'know, hey, I don't know what everyone's talking about. That outfit doesn't make you look like a hooker!
Xander: Boy, that Cordelia is a regular breath of vile air. What are you vixens up to?
Willow: Just sitting here, watching our barren lives pass us by. Oh, look, a cockroach.
Xander: Whoa, well, let's stop this crazy whirligig of fun! I'm dizzy!
Angel: It's alright. A vampire can't come in unless it's invited.
Buffy: I've heard that before, but I've never put it to the test.
Buffy: Nice tattoo. I was lucky you came along. How did you happen to come along?
Angel: I live nearby. I was just out walking.
Buffy: So, you weren't following me? I just had this feeling you were.
Angel: Why would I do that?
Buffy: You tell me. You're the Mystery Guy that appears out of nowhere. I'm not saying I'm not happy about it tonight, but... if you are hanging around I'd like to know why.
Angel: Maybe I like you.
Buffy: You must be beat.
Joyce: I am. We're a little gallery. You have no idea how much...
Buffy: Well, then why don't you go upstairs and get into bed, and I can bring you some hot tea?
Joyce: That's sweet! What'd you do?
Buffy: Oh! Okay... Um... Angel, uh, this is my mom. Mom, this is Angel. Uh, we ran into each other on the way home.
Angel: Nice to meet you.
Joyce: What do you do, Angel?
Buffy: He's a student. Uh, first year community college. Angel's been helping me with my history, you know I've been toiling there.
Joyce: It's a little late for tutoring. I'm gonna go to bed, and, uh, Buffy?
Buffy: I'll say good night and do the same!
Buffy: Y'know, I'm the Chosen One, it's my job to fight guys like that. What's your excuse?
Angel: Uh, somebody has to.
Buffy: Well, what does your family think of your career choice?
Angel: They're dead.
Buffy: Was it vampires?
Angel: I-it was.
Buffy: I'm sorry.
Angel: It was a long while ago.
Angel: Y-you even look pretty when you go to sleep.
Buffy: Well, when I wake up it's an entirely different story.
Xander: He spent the night? In your room? In your bed?
Buffy: Not in my bed, by my bed.
Willow: That is so romantic! Did you, uh... I mean, did he, uh...
Buffy: Perfect gentleman.
Xander: Buffy, c'mon, wake up and smell the seduction. It's the oldest trick in the book.
Buffy: What? Saving my life? Getting slashed in the ribs?
Xander: Duh! I mean, guys'll do anything to impress a girl. I-I once drank an entire gallon of Gatorade without taking a breath.
Willow: It was pretty impressive. Although later there was an ick factor.
Willow: How is it you always know this stuff? You always know what's going on. I never know what's going on.
Giles: Well, you weren't here from midnight until six researching it.
Willow: No, I was sleeping.
Master: Pay attention, child. You are the Anointed, and there is much you must learn. With power comes responsibility. True, they did fail, but also true, we who walk at night share a common bond. The taking of a life -- I'm not talking about humans, of course -- is a serious matter.
Collin: So you would spare them?
Master: Hmm. I am weary, and their deaths will bring me little joy. Of course, sometimes a little is enough.
Buffy: Cool! Crossbow! Huh. Check out these babies. Hmm. Goodbye stakes, hello flying fatality. What can I shoot?
Giles: Um, nothing. The crossbow comes later. You must first become proficient with the basic tools of combat. And let's begin... with the quarterstaff. Which, incidentally, will, uh, require countless hours of vigorous training. I speak from experience.
Buffy: Giles, 20th Century? I'm not gonna be fighting Friar Tuck.
Buffy: I'm not gonna need pads to fight you.
Giles: Well, we'll see about that. En garde! ...Good. Let's move on to the crossbow.
Buffy: So! What'd you do all day?
Angel: Uh, I read a little. And just thought about a lot of things. Buffy, I...
Buffy: My diary? You read my diary? That is not okay! A diary is like a person's most private place! I... You don't even know what I was writing about! 'Hunk' can mean a lot of things, bad things. And, and when it says that your eyes are 'penetrating', I meant to write 'bulging'.
Buffy: And 'A' doesn't even stand for 'Angel' for that matter, it stands for... 'Achmed', a charming foreign exchange student, so that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you at all...
Angel: Your mother moved your diary when she came in to straighten up. I watched from the closet. I didn't read it, I swear.
Angel: I did a lot of thinking today. I really can't be around you. Because when I am...
Buffy: Hey, no big. Water... over the bridge, under the bridge...
Angel: When I am all I can ever think about is how badly I want to kiss you.
Buffy: ...over the dam... Kiss me?
Angel: I'm older than you, and this can't ever... I better go.
Buffy: H-how much older?
Angel: I should...
Buffy: ...go... You said...
Willow: Angel's a vampire?
Buffy: I can't believe this is happening. One minute we were kissing, and the next minute... Can a vampire ever be a good person? Couldn't it happen?
Giles: A vampire isn't a person at all. It may have the movements, the, the memories, even the personality of the person that it took over, but i-it's still a demon at the core, there is no halfway.
Willow: So that'd be a no, huh?
Xander: Alright, uh... you have a problem, and it's not a small one. Let's take a breath and look at this calmly and objectively. Angel's a vampire. You're a Slayer. I think it's obvious what you have to do.
Giles: Uh, it is a Slayer's duty...
Xander: I-I know you have feelings for this guy, but it's not like you're in love with him, right? You're in love with a vampire?! What, are you outta your mind?!
Xander: Not vampire... How could you love an umpire? Everyone hates 'em!
Cordelia: Where did you get that dress? This is a one-of-a-kind Todd Oldham. Do you know how much this dress cost? Is this a knockoff? This is a knockoff, isn't it?! Some cheesy knockoff! This is exactly what happens when you sign these free trade agreements!
Buffy: You think we have problems...
Angel: What's with the Catholic schoolgirl look? Last time I saw you it was kimonos.
Darla: And last time I saw you it wasn't high school girls. Don't cha like? Remember Budapest? Turn of the century? You were such a bad boy during that earthquake.
Angel: You did some damage yourself.
Darla: Is there anything better than a natural disaster? The panic. The people lost in the streets. It's like picking fruit off the vine. Nice! You're living above ground, like one of them. You and your new friend are attacking us, like one of them. But guess what, precious? You're not one of them. Are you?
Angel: No. But I'm not exactly one of you either.
Giles: There's nothing about Angel in the texts, but it suddenly occurred to me that it's been ages since I've read the diaries of any of the watchers before me.
Willow: That musta been so embarrassing when you thought he had read your diary, but then it turned out he hadn't, but then he felt the same way... I'm listening.
Giles: There's mention some two hundred years ago in Ireland of, of Angelus, the one with the angelic face.
Buffy: They got that right.
Xander: I'm not saying anything, I have nothing to say.
Willow: So, Angel's been around for a while.
Giles: Not long for a vampire. Uh, two hundred and forty years or so.
Buffy: Huh! Two hundred and forty. Well, he said he was older.
Giles: Angelus leaves Ireland, uh, wreaks havoc in, in Europe for, uh, several decades, and then, um, about eighty years ago, the most curious thing happens. He, he comes to, uh, to America, um, shuns other vampires, and, and lives alone. There's, there's no, no record of him hunting here.
Willow: So he is a good vampire! I mean, on a scale of one to ten, ten being someone who's killing and maiming every night, and one being someone who's... not.
Giles: I say that there's no record, but, uh, vampires hunt and kill. It's, it's what they do.
Xander: Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly.
Willow: Okay, so let's review. Reconstruction began when? Buffy?
Buffy: Huh? Oh! Um, reconstruction... Uh, reconstruction began after the... construction, which was... shoddy, so they had to reconstruct.
Willow: After the destruction of the Civil War.
Buffy: Right. Civil War. During which Angel was already, like, a hundred and change...
Willow: Sometimes I have this fantasy that Xander's just gonna grab me and kiss me right on the lips.
Buffy: You want Xander, you've gotta speak up, girl!
Willow: No, no, no, no. No speaking up. That way leads to madness and sweaty palms. Okay, so here's something I gotta know. When Angel kissed you... I mean before he turned into... how was it?
Willow: Wow! And it is kinda novel how he'll stay young and handsome forever, although you'll still get wrinkly and die, and... Oh, and what about the children? I'll be quiet now.
Buffy: No, it's okay. I need to hear this. I need to get over him so I can...
Willow: So that you can...
Buffy: Like Xander said, I'm the Slayer, and he's a... vampire. God, I can't! He's never done anything to hurt me... Okay, no, I need to stop thinking about this. Okay, let's give another half an hour and maybe something will sink in. And then I'm going home for some major moping.
Joyce: I guess I slipped and cut my neck on... The doctor said it looked like a barbecue fork. We don't have a barbecue fork. Are you another doctor?
Buffy: Oh! Um... No, Mom, this is Mr. Giles.
Joyce: Oh, the librarian from your school! What's he doing here?
Giles: Uh, I-I just came to pay my respects, wish you a speedy recovery.
Joyce: Boy, the teachers really do care in this town.
Darla: For a hundred years you've not had a moment's peace because you will not accept who you are. That's all you have to do. Accept it. Don't let her hunt you down. Don't whimper and mewl like a mangy human. Kill! Feed! Live!
Darla: What do you want?
Angel: I want it finished!
Darla: That's good. You're hurting me. That's good, too.
Buffy: I know you're there. And I know what you are.
Angel: Do you? I'm just an animal, right?
Buffy: You're not an animal. Animals I like.
Buffy: Why? Why didn't you just attack me when you had the chance? Was it a joke? To make me feel for you and then... I've killed a lot of vampires. I've never hated one before.
Angel: Feels good, doesn't it? Feels simple.
Buffy: I invited you into my home and then you attacked my family!
Angel: Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends... and their friend's children... For a hundred years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.
Buffy: What changed?
Angel: Fed on a girl about your age... beautiful... dumb as a post... but a favorite among her clan.
Buffy: Her clan?
Angel: Romany. Gypsies. The elders conjured the perfect punishment for me. They restored my soul.
Buffy: What, they were all out of boils and blinding torment?
Angel: When you become a vampire the demon takes your body, but it doesn't get your soul. That's gone! No conscience, no remorse... It's an easy way to live. You have no idea what it's like to have done the things I've done... and to care. I haven't fed on a living human being since that day.
Buffy: So you started with my mom?
Angel: I didn't bite her.
Buffy: Then why didn't you say something?
Angel: But I wanted to. I can walk like a man, but I'm not one. I wanted to kill you tonight.
Buffy: Go ahead. Not as easy as it looks.
Darla: Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?
Buffy: Bad hair on top of that outfit?
Darla: To love someone who used to love you.
Buffy: You guys were involved?
Darla: For several generations.
Buffy: Well, you been around since Columbus, you are bound to pile up a few ex's. You're older than him, right? Just between us girls, you are looking a little worn around the eyes.
Collin: Forget her.
Master: How dare you? She was my favorite. For four hundred years...
Collin: She was weak. You don't need her. I'll bring you the Slayer.
Master: But to lose her to Angel! He was to have sat at my right hand, come the day. And now...
Collin: They're all against you. But soon you shall rise. And when you do... we kill them all.
Xander: Ah, the post-fumigation party.
Buffy: Okay, so what's the difference between this and the pre-fumigation party?
Xander: Much hardier cockroaches.
Angel: Look, this can't...
Buffy: ...ever be anything. I know. For one thing, you're, like, two hundred and twenty-four years older than I am.
Angel: I just gotta... I gotta walk away from this.
Buffy: I know. Me, too. One of us has to go here.
Angel: I know.
Xander: What's going on?
Xander: Well, as long as they're not kissing.