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Lies My Parents Told Me
Lies My Parents Told Me

-- Quotes --

Written by Zinna

New York, 1977
One rainy night a beautiful young girl spends her evening fighting a vampire in the park. This particular fight is special because the vampire is Spike and the beautiful young girl is Nikki, Princi's mother i.e. the slayer. This appears to be like any fight. She kicks the crap out him. He gets a couple of good ones in until suddenly, Spike is upon her. It looks like he is going to feed on her when the rustling of a garbage can causes him to break his attention. The distraction affords Nikki time to gain advantage of the fight. Soon, she sends a stake flying in his direction. It looks like it could take him out but he catches between the palms of his hands. He tells her that he's spent a long time tracking her down and doesn't want their dance to end so soon. Then he coyly compliments her coat (the long black leather coat he's always wearing these days) and disappears into the night. Nikki runs over to her little garbage can rustler, a 4 year old Robin Wood, and tells him that he did really good with the staying out of the way and all. He wants to go home, but Nikki says it isn't safe. So, she's going to take him to her watcher's, where he's sure to be amused, except that he wants to stay with his mommy. Ok, now here comes one of those life lessons (well if your mother's a slayer, it's a life lesson) - she tells that she loves him, but has a to job to do, a mission. The mission is what matters.

Present day, I mean, night
It looks like Buffy's gang (Buffy, Spike, and Princi) is facing off against a rival vamp gang that's butting in her territory. Yeah, it's a rumble! Buffy takes her fair share of vamps while Spike contends with one and Princi takes on another. Spike dusts his vamp in no time, but doesn't bother to help Princi (who isn't doing as well) until Buffy yells at him to lend a hand (she's still working on her vamps). Just as the vamp is about to close in on Princi, Spike stakes him from behind. Instead of being grateful for his life and all, Princi is filled with silent rage. He, of course, doesn't want any favors from Spike. In fact, he is so bothered by Spike that his hand grips his stake until he bleeds. He does this with a straight face so that Spike can remain oblivious to Princi's hatred.

The next day in school, Princi looks through the blinds of his office window. I suppose he's on the lookout for crazy teenagers run amuck like last week (Storyteller). Buffy arrives to tell him that the teens are back to their normal angst-filled selves. Princi marvels at Buffy and the prospect of her possibly closing the seal for good. Buffy doesn't think they are out of the woods yet. The skepticism reminds Princi of his mother and he tells Buffy so. Buffy is flattered. For some reason, this makes Buffy say that maybe everything is all right, just as Giles runs in and says everything is horrible! He's just come from the library and it's overrun with computers! Can you imagine the horror!

Buffy calms him down by introducing to him to Princi. Giles is very pleased to meet him - they need as many fighters as they can get. Apparently, Giles has news from the coven's seers. The First hasn't run off with its tail between its legs; it is actually just pulling together some other dark forces (probably ones that don't need no stinkin' seal). So much for the "everything's-all-right-theory." Buffy asks if Giles brought more potentials back with him (he was away last week). Nope, he wasn't out getting potentials. He was checking out something in regards to Spike's trigger. Princi's ears perk up at the mention of Spike, but he can't inquire further because Giles is responding to Buffy's glare. Her glare says that Giles should leave well enough alone. Giles doesn't think things are well enough especially since she allowed the commandos to remove Spike's chip. Buffy reiterates that Spike has a soul. Princi, who is paying close attention, tries to ask about the chip and Buffy gives a quick explanation that doesn't really explain anything at all because Princi is confused again about Spike having a soul. Buffy can't explain that because she's too busy reminding Giles that the chip had to be removed; it was killing Spike. Giles counters that Spike's soul isn't going to stop the First from using that trigger. Princi is completely flabbergasted now and tries to get clarification about the chip, the trigger, and the soul. They confirm that Spike has all three and go back to bickering. Buffy says the trigger isn't active and Giles says that they have no idea whether the trigger is active or not, but he's brought back something that will help them find out.

Later that evening, everyone (Princi, Dawn, Xander, Willow, Buffy, Giles, Spike) gathers in the basement to watch Giles use his doodad on Spike. Xander chains Spike to the wall. Giles explains the doodad is a prokaryote stone, which needs to be implanted into Spike's brain. It will work as a catalyst by exposing or revealing to Spike whatever subconscious thoughts or memories linked to the song, the perceived trigger. Spike wants know how they are going to get the stone inside his head. Willow is going to do a spell and Buffy is going to make sure that no one gets hurt if Spike wigs out and starts trying to eat them or something. Anyways, Willow chants a magical phrase and the stone turns into a moving slug-like thing that goes into Spike's head through his eyelid (it's as gross as it sounds). Shortly after the slug gets in, Spike flashes back to 1880.

Spike sees his human self (William) reading self-scribed poetry to an older woman, presumably his mother. His mother is very approving and wonders if the poem is about Cecily. William blushes, indicating that it is and says something like, he doesn't presume. His mother takes the cue to tell him that he should have a woman in his life and William promptly answers that he has a woman in his life - meaning her. Of course his mother wants to tell him that this isn't healthy but she isn't healthy. Just as she is about to respond, she has a coughing fit. William becomes very concerned and offers to get a doctor. His mum assures him that she is fine. He concedes and sits on the floor besides the chair where she is knitting. He lays his head on her lap and she sings him a little song. You guessed it, the same song that the First used to control Spike. Hmmm…

In the basement, Spike's face goes bumpy. He looks savage and vicious. He grabs Buffy and throws her against the washing and drying machines. Then he upturns his cot and throws that at Dawn, knocking Dawn down. Everyone looks at him in horror, hoping his restraints will hold. They don't. Just as Spike pulls one of his chains out of the wall, the prokaryote (I know, I keep wanting to call it prokarate too) stone falls out of his eye. Suddenly, Spike seems to be in control of himself again. He yells at Buffy to unchain him and Giles protests or rather ignores his requests, wanting to know what Spike saw. Spike says something about the song being a little ditty that his mum used to sing to him when he was baby. Giles is sure there's more to it than Spike is letting on, but Spike won't offer up any more info.

Upstairs, Willow treats Dawnie's wound, a little cut on her forehead. More importantly, Willow receives a call - from Fred in LA… Can you say, crossover?

Downstairs, Spike continues to be uncooperative with regards to Giles' questions about his mum. So, Buffy gets ready to unchain him, claiming that Giles' little experiment didn't work. Giles stops her, claiming that the experiment isn't working because Spike isn't cooperating. Besides, they've all seen that Spike's trigger is still active. Buffy doesn't seem to care about the savage vampire show Spike just put on. She's ready to cut her losses and cut Spike loose. Spike is ready to be cut loose… that is until he goes into another flashback:

Freshly vamped, Spike and Drusilla ravage each other in his mum's living room. As they dance around the room talking of plans for their endless future together, Spike lets Dru in on their reason for returning to his old pad. He plans to turn his mother so that his mum can spend eternity with them. Isn't that nice? Dru is very confused. She can't fathom the idea of a person wanting to bring along his mother on a killing spree. Spike doesn't think this notion is absurd at all and is about to tell Dru so, when his mother enters the living room. Mum has been worried sick (William has been missing for days). Spike assures her that he's feeling better than he's ever felt and he wants her to feel this way too. Mum doesn't understand, but that doesn't matter to Spike. He is sure she'll be pleased once the deed is done. So, he gets to the biting.

Meanwhile in the basement, Willow runs down to tell Buffy that she's got to take off for awhile - trouble in LA. Buffy wants to know what's wrong. Willow downplays the trouble and says she'll bring back some good news. Buffy lets her go. Spike comes back to present day and insists that he has everything under control. Buffy believes him and unchains him, but not without more protests from Giles. Buffy doesn't want to argue anymore so she leaves.

Giles is about to go upstairs too, but Princi stops him. Princi has noticed Giles' concerns regarding Spike and lets Giles know that he agrees - Spike is a liability. Princi thinks the solution is to kill Spike. Giles would love nothing more but knows that Buffy will never allow it. Princi has a plan that would only require Giles to keep Buffy busy for a while. During the course of the conversation, it comes out that Spike killed Princi's mom and Giles begins to wonder if Princi's plan is more about revenge than it is about solving a dangerous problem. Princi wants to know if it matters considering the end result will be for the greater good of their cause.

Giles takes Buffy off to the cemetery for some "important" training. Meanwhile, Princi offers to let Spike "stay" at his house until they figure out what's up his trigger. Buffy isn't sure that leaving Spike with Princi was the best idea, but Giles assures her that everyone else in the house seemed to be pretty pleased with the decision.

At the cemetery, Giles starts in on Buffy about her ability to act as "general" of an army of potentials. He tells her that being a general means more than spouting off inspirational speeches - it requires making tough decisions. Buffy doesn't understand what he's getting at because she feels she's been making all kinds of tough decisions.

Over at Princi's neck of the woods, Princi leads Spike out to his workroom/garage. Inside the room, Spike is a little shocked to see the walls are covered, literally covered, with wooden crosses. Princi explains that the room is a sanctuary for him and as long Spike stays away from the walls he should be ok. Princi goes over to his computer and clicks around until he finds what he's looking for, a song. Then Princi begins to take off his outer layers until he is down to his tank top and trousers. Princi opens a drawer and pulls out some dangerous looking weapons that can also double as gloves for an S&M party. Ready for battle, Princi turns around and tells Spike that he's been tracking him for some time now because… Spike murdered his mother. Spike is a little taken aback but then says he's killed a lot of mothers. Surprisingly enough Princi doesn't find this statement comforting. Princi tells Spike that he plans to kill the monster that killed his mother. Spike thinks he's in the clear because he isn't the monster that killed Princi's mother; he has a soul now (just in case you didn't hear Buffy say it 83 million times already). What Princi wants, Princi gets. He hits his mouse button and the trigger song starts to play Spike into a savage rage. Ahh and there's Princi's monster.

Spike, of course, finds this to be a perfect time for a flashback… to 1880 just after he sired his mother. For the first time in this episode, his mum looks healthy. Spike is happy to see her so well and begins to make plans for a long and violent future together. But Mum wants nothing to do with his plans. In fact, she has a new outlook on their relationship. She finds Spike's doting-little-mama's-boy act to be too much for her to take. To Spike's complete and utter horror, she explains to that she's waited for years for him to leave her alone and now he wants her for eternity? She'd sooner have her eyes cut out (well maybe not in those words but something just as cruel). She continues to taunt him with cruel revelations about their mother/son relationship until Spike pleads for to her stop. She doesn't stop. So, Spike mutters an apology and then stakes her where she stands. During the course of this flashback, Princi is seriously kicking Spike's ass. Finally Spike is down for the count or deep in his flashback. As Princi gets ready to stake him, he hears Spike's apology and hesitates. Almost immediately, Spike's face returns from the land of bumpy and he seems to be in control of himself. He sees Princi holding the stake and tells him that he wasn't apologizing to him.

Meanwhile back at Giles' fake training session, Giles watches Buffy work over a vamp. Just as she's about to stake him, Giles asks her to hold off. Then he asks if she would let the vampire live if it meant saving the world. That is a no brainer for Buffy. Of course she would. Buffy continues to whoop on the poor vamp as Giles asks questions. Buffy wonders what he's getting at... Giles wonders if knowing what she knows now, would Buffy let Dawn die. Buffy says she would… to save the world. Giles then asks if that means she understands that any one of them is expendable? Buffy is like, "Have you heard my speeches?!" That doesn't stop Giles from pushing the subject. He then asks is she understands that she cannot allow any threat to jeopardize their chances of winning the coming battle. Buffy is like, "Yes! I get it!" and Giles (who is not convinced) says," And yet, there is Spike."

Back at the house of vengeance, Princi and Spike fight it up - Spike having more of an upper hand than before, being that he's conscious and all. Spike tells Princi that he doesn't care at all about his mom. She was a slayer and he is vampire (meaning that killing each other is what they do). Princi gets even more pissed and tries to fight harder but as I said, Spike is awake so Princi has his work cut out for him. Besides that, Spike seems to be really interested in giving Princi a real ego lashing by telling him that Princi wasn't his mother's world and that's what really hurts (I guess implying that his murdering Princi's mother isn't what's really bothering Princi). Eventually, Spike beats the crap out of Princi while explaining that his (Spike's) mother loved him (Spike) and it was a demon that said all those horrible things to him, which is what he finally understands. But Princi's mother didn't love him or at least she didn't love him enough to quit (slaying). As Princi lies battered and beaten on the floor, Spike clicks the mouse to play the trigger song again. This time the song has no effect on him. Spike wanted Princi to know that he is cured. Then Spike's face goes bumpy (of his own accord) as he goes in for the kill.

Back at the cemetery, Buffy continues to beat up her vamp. Giles continues to talk about her poor judgment when it comes to Spike. Giles even goes so far as to compare him to Angel, by saying Spike doesn't have the sense enough to leave her like Angel did. Buffy tells him that Spike is there because she wants him there and it pretty much goes back and forth like this for a while until Buffy realizes that Giles is just stalling for time. Without so much as word, she stakes her vamp and runs off to Princi's in hopes of getting there in time to save Spike.

When Buffy arrives she finds Spike outside. She asks him what happened and he opens the door to show her a badly beaten, but still alive, principal. He explains that he spared Princi's life because he killed Princi's mother, but the offer is good for one time only. If Princi tries anything else like this, Spike promises to kill him. Buffy grimaces and goes in to check on Princi. He is conscious, so she helps him stand, then she tells him that she understands his pain - she lost her mother recently. To his credit, Princi is appropriately sympathetic. Buffy continues into another "Spike-has-a-soul-now-so-he-gets-out-of-jail-free" speeches. Princi tells her not to kid herself. Spike is the same man that he was when he killed Princi's mother. Buffy's like, "whatever… don't try this again or he'll kill you and more importantly I'll let him." (not a direct quote) Princi looks a little hurt, but he also seems to have expected such an answer. Buffy walks off leaving him to ponder her last line - "the mission is what matters."

Once Buffy returns home she checks on Dawn. On her way back to her room she runs into Giles. Giles tries to explain his actions and Buffy interrupts him to tell him that Spike's not dead. Giles lets that slide and continues to try to convince her that she's being irrational about Spike. Finally, Buffy tells him that she's had enough of him. He has taught her all she needs to know and for dramatic effect she shuts the door in his face.

The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

Oh! Well, okay, I invite you. To come in.
I-if this is a bad time, I...
No! I just... I'm not supposed to have boys in my room.
I promise to behave myself.
-Willow and Angel (Lie to Me)

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