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Dead Things
Dead Things

-- Quotes --

Written by Zinna

This week's particular romp lands the slayer and naughty vampire underneath an oriental rug, surrounded by the mess their lust making has turned Spike's newly decorated lair into. Despite the mess Buffy is nice enough to notice that Spike's been sprucing up the place. She even goes as far to say that his effort might inspire her to redecorate her own room. Apparently, she hasn't thought about taking down some New Kids on the Block poster until now. Suddenly, Spike notices that they are actually having a conversation and this time Buffy doesn't try to deny it. Maybe they have a relationship after all…

Soon the discussion moves back to exchanging compliments on each other's sexual performance. Spike decided to compare Buffy's making-it moves to that of animal, which of course reminds Buffy that something is wrong with her (the whole Spike being able to hit her meaning she's not quite human thing). She starts to freak out and makes a mad dash for her underwear. The mad dash part is all too familiar to Spike, but this time it seems to hurt more than usual, maybe its due to the fact that a few minutes before they were reveling in their ability to engage in a somewhat meaningful conversation that didn't center around Buffy being disappointed in herself and her entanglement with Spike (poor little Spikey). Spike's disappointment prompts him to ask Buffy what she thinks they are doing. What do these little rolls in the hay mean to her? Buffy doesn't really have a answer so Spike asks if she even likes him. She says, "Sometimes." He asks if she likes what he does to her, she gives him a "Well, duh!" face. Feeling a little confident he asks while dangling a pair of handcuffs in front her, "Do you trust me?" Buffy sternly and definitively tells him, "NEVER."

Just in case you missed our mischief-makers, they are back and they've got a new stomping ground. We see Andrew complaining about their new living arrangements, while Jonathan puts his grubby hands all over Andrew's records. They get into little scuffle, which is interrupted by Warren. Warren seems to be all-business-all-the-time. This time he needs Jonathan to perform some kind of magical procedure to create some fuel or power source for yet another gadget that Warren calls the cerebral dampener. They all put on red sunglasses, while Jonathan makes this power source appear through light bursts then it instantly transforms itself into an orb on Warren's desk. Warren then announces that with this orb they will be able to make any woman their willing love slave.

The next day or maybe later in the same day (to be honest I don't know), Tara pays Buffy a visit at the Palace. It is later revealed that the visit is at Buffy's request. Tara thinks that Willow's done something, but Buffy assures her that Willow is fine. Buffy needs Tara to help her with something non-Willow related. Buffy then tells her that Spike can hit her, but his chip still works on everyone else. Basically, she wants Tara to find out if they brought her back wrong. Tara tries to tell Buffy that she's sure Buffy's fine, but Buffy insists Tara investigate the matter further.

Equipped with their sex slave maker Warren sits in singles bar scoping out the prospects, while Jonathan and Andrew watch him on the close-circuit television in their van. Apparently Warren has an earpiece because the boys are shouting out their preferences. Warren appears to have someone special in mind, as he ignores their suggestions or requests. Eventually he lays eyes on the object of his desire - Katrina, his ex-girlfriend (I Was Made to Love You). Before he approaches her, he breaks all contact with the sidekicks. Then he slides into place beside her at the bar.

Needless to say, Katrina is not happy to see him. She attempts to make it clear that sight of him makes her ill, but he insists they have things to work out. Finally as Katrina is making her dramatic exit Warren slips on his red shades and exposes her to the orb. Suddenly, all animation disappears from Katrina's facial expression and she says in a drone-like voice, "I love you, master" to which Warren replies, "I love you too, baby."

Meanwhile, Buffy returns home to find her friends and Dawn dancing?! Worried that Sweet as returned for some for hell-inspired singing (Once More with Feeling), Buffy asks what's going on. Turns out the married-couple-to-be is teaching Dawn to dance in preparation for their wedding reception. That's not all they have planned for the evening: the older Scoobies are going off to a night a fun and frolic at the Bronze. They invite Buffy, but she declines opting to stay home with Dawn. Dawn, on other hand, has no intention of being home. She's going over to make tortillas with Janice and her mom. Buffy is suspicious (All the Way) and plans to forbid the sleepover until Willow explains that she double-checked the details with Janice's mom. All is kosher. Buffy then tries to persuade Dawn to stay for sheer pleasure of quality time with the big sis. Dawn basically tells Buffy that it's too little too late (but in a passive-aggressive-teenager-I-didn't-think-you'd-care way) and leaves. Completely abandoned Buffy reconsiders the Bronze option.

The creepy pervs are back their new headquarters. They've dressed Katrina in a French maid's outfit and have her serving them champagne. Jonathan and Andrew praise Warren's final pick, while drooling over Slave Katrina and the sickening possibilities. They begin to argue over who will have his way with her first. Warren calls shotgun, telling them they can have her when he's done. He takes her off to a room. Once there, he and Katrina immediately start making out. Warren stops and demands her to say things like, she regrets leaving him and she loves him. Soon Warren slips out of reality and begins to respond to Katrina as if she were really saying these things of her own volition. Then he becomes enraged and seeks to humiliate her by commanding her to her knees. Slave Katrina obliges his commands, but then she inexplicably regains lucidity.

Putting two and two together almost instantly, she throws Warren out the room and rushes into the living room. Upon seeing the sidekicks playing with their light sabers, she asks if Warren planned to share her with the other two pervs. The little pervs don't quite understand what's going on, but quickly try to get the orb to work. The orb malfunctions and Katrina verbally rips into them. Letting them know that what they were planning to do constitutes rape. Jonathan and Andrew look as though they never considered it as such and begin to show remorse. Warren, on the other hand, is not surprised by the accusation. He knew exactly what he was doing. Katrina goes on to say that she will have him arrested so he can feel what it's like to be raped. Then she attempts dramatic exit number two. The little pervs try to stop her but she knocks them about with little effort. Warren then tries to grab her. She claws at his face. He grabs the champagne bottle and cubs her over the head. She goes down. He demands the others recharge the dampener. The little pervs are reluctant realizing the blow to Katrina's head may done some serious damage. Finally, Andrew checks her pulse and announces, "She's dead."

Once it's well established that Warren killed Katrina, Andrew begins to cry, while Jonathan asks Warren what the hell he did. Warren skips the freaking out part and jumps straight to damage control. Warren tells the sidekicks that the murder is on all of their heads so they better figure out a way to get rid of the body. Warren asks Jonathan to magically transport it, but Jonathan says he cannot - the body is too big. They run through a bunch of hopeless options until Jonathan and Andrew finally decide they should turn themselves in. Warren has no intention of doing any such thing. He reaches to depths of this evil mind and comes up with a solution that should take care of all their problems - the slayer (who knows Katrina was Warren's ex-girlfriend) and Katrina's corpse.

At the Bronze, Willow watches Xander and Anya attempt to swing dance and worries that she may be forced to dance at the wedding. Buffy tries to reconnect to her friend by asking about her recovery. Willow explains that she's fine as long as she remains around people, which prompts Buffy to apologize for being MIA all the time. Willow understands. Then the happy couple invites Willow and Buffy on to the dance floor. Willow accepts. Buffy wanders off looking for a drink. She ends up on the mezzanine overlooking the dance floor. She looks down at her friends pondering why she doesn't fit in with them anymore and wouldn't you know, Spike's there to capitalize on her feelings of alienation.

Spike whispers in Buffy's ear (his attempt a seduction) that she's not apart of that world (referring to her friends) anymore. She belongs with him in the shadows. Buffy says nothing but you can tell that to her sad horror she believes he might be right. It is also apparent that she doesn't want him to be right. He ignores her melancholy and takes her from behind, while at the same time trying to get her to admit that she's loving it, loving getting away with their dirty little interludes right under her friends' noses. She has no will and makes no effort to fight him, his advances, or his hold on her.

The next morning, Tara goes to magic shop looking for Buffy, but instead runs into Willow. They make awkward but friendly small talk. Willow tells Tara that she's been magic sober for 32 days, which would mean she's not counting Amy's magic zap. Tara tells her that she's glad.

Night falls and Buffy goes to Spike's crypt. She stops at his door, reminding herself that he's a blood-sucking fiend. Inside, Spike senses her and goes to his door. As if he feels her through it, he touches the door in the same Buffy is touching the other side. Buffy hears a scream in distance and thanks her lucky stars that she has something else to do.

Buffy's perception of time becomes distorted as she tries to fight some cloaked demons that are attacking a girl. One minute she's fighting a demon, the next Spike's is asking why she hit him and then in the next she's fighting the demons again with Spike. The whole time the attacked girl (Katrina) appears and disappears. Sometimes she's hurt and crying. Sometimes she's not. Voices are whispering in Buffy's head making it hurt and confusing her to no end. She can't see which way is up. Finally, Katrina touches Buffy's shoulder to get her attention, but Buffy's so confused that she backhands Katrina thinking she's a demon. The time warps end as Buffy realizes she's hurt the girl. She checks the girl's pulse and finds that she's dead. Spike finishes off the demons and joins Buffy at the dead girl's side. Buffy, horrified, tells him that she killed the girl. Spike doesn't spend a whole lot of time caring about the girl. He tells Buffy to go home to get some rest. He promises to take care of everything and tells her to trust him. Buffy is reluctant and thoroughly freaked out, but after some time she concedes and goes home.

Meanwhile in the shadows, Katrina watches as Buffy leaves the scene of the crime. Then she goes to van of the creeps. Once inside it is revealed that Katrina is actually Jonathan under a disguise spell. Warren and Andrew were watching the entire drama unfold on their van surveillance cam. Warren announces that Katrina's death is Buffy's problem now.

In her bed, Buffy is raked with violent intense sexual nightmares that eventually jolt her awake. After she calms down, she goes into Dawn's room and wakes Dawn up. She tells Dawn that she loves her and always will despite how she's been acting - distant and inaccessible. Dawn knows something's wrong by the nature of Buffy's speech and tells her to spill it. Buffy explains that she hurt someone very badly and now she must own up to it. It doesn't take long for Dawn to figure out that Buffy's going to be put away. Buffy tries to explain that she has to go, but Dawn is not in mood to be stoic or understanding (and who could blame her). She shouts at Buffy to go since Buffy can't stand to be around her anyway and because she knows that Buffy was happier where she was (dead). Basically it doesn't matter since Buffy wasn't really ever around anyway.

Despite Dawn's outburst Buffy continues on her mission to confess to the crime. She heads down to police station, but is headed off by Spike. Spike is intent on stopping Buffy from making what he believes is a horrible mistake. They get into a very intense argument. Spike cannot understand why Buffy wants to do this to herself when he's taken care of the body (just then cops walk by, talking about the body of dead girl that washed up on shore). Buffy attempts to explain that how her conscious is eating away at her, but then she's realizes he doesn't know anything about having a conscious, being a vampire and all. In her frustration, anger, pain and Spike's unwillingness to move out her way, she hits him. He's kind of turned on by it and says, that's my girl. This enrages Buffy and she just clobbers him, punching endlessly at his face. In her fury she screams that she could never be his girl because there's nothing clean or good about him. He's dead inside. When she comes to her senses and stops beating him. Spike smiles, saying, "You always hurt the ones love, pet."

Now that Spike's immobile, Buffy makes her way to the station. She walks up the police counter to tell confess, but desk sergeant makes her wait as he takes a call. Apparently the call is from someone identifying the dead girl's body as Katrina Saunders. Buffy overheads the name and suddenly remembers Katrina is Warren's ex-girlfriend. Instantly, she knows that Warren's behind it.

The next day after some research the Scoobies conclude that Buffy was fighting Denorex demons. By their very nature the demons cause localized temporal disturbance. Buffy is sure that Warren is behind it. When Willow asks why, Buffy says, "You always hurt the one you love," which seems to ring true for everyone in room. Dawn then asks if this means Buffy will not be going away. She assures her that she won't be going anywhere and tries to approach Dawn, possibly to embrace her. Dawn decides this is not exactly good news and storms away. Buffy tells the gang that she's not going to let them (the three evil creeps) get away with it.

Meanwhile Warren hears that the medical examiner classified Katrina's death as a suicide. Warren and Andrew revel in the fact that they've seemingly got away with murder, while Jonathan looks disturbs and somewhat frightened.

That night in the Summers' living room, Tara explains to Buffy that there is nothing wrong with her. Buffy looks puzzled and on the brink of tears. She wants to know why Spike can hit her. Apparently, Buffy is virtually the same person except that her molecular make-up was slightly altered by her being dead and then resurrected. Her cells were altered just enough for Spike's chip to be unable to recognize her as human. So, the moral being resurrected human cells aren't that same as never-died-in-the first-place ones. Tara thinks this should be good news, but is surprised to see Buffy is still on the verge of an emotional breakdown. Buffy asks if there isn't anything wrong with her then why does she let Spike do those things to her. At first, Tara thinks Buffy is just referring to Spike beating her up, but then Buffy gives her the guilty I-have-a-vampire-sex-slave look. Tara gets the hint (amazingly enough she's not that surprised... maybe the Scoobies aren't as oblivious as they act) and at Buffy's sobbing request promises to keep it secret. Tara then tries to reassure Buffy that it's relatively normal under the circumstances (you know, her first love being a vampire, regular men not being able to handle that she can whoop them with her little finger, recently losing her mom, giving up her own life to save the world and then being ripped from heaven by her friends, etc. etc.) that she might find some solace in boinking a vampire, but Buffy begs Tara not to forgive her. She begs Tara to tell her she's wrong then she collapses her head onto Tara's laps, crying uncontrollably.


The Usual
The Usual

Random Quotage:

Oh! Well, okay, I invite you. To come in.
I-if this is a bad time, I...
No! I just... I'm not supposed to have boys in my room.
I promise to behave myself.
-Willow and Angel (Lie to Me)


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BtVS: The Score CD BtVS: The Score CD

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - The Chosen Collection (Seasons 1-7) BtVS - The Chosen Collection (Seasons 1-7)


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